emmareadstoomuch's reviews
2051 reviews

I wrote a fairly oversized mini review for The Reptile Room. I do not foresee myself doing that for this one. It’s just...it doesn’t inspire the same emotion.

Aunt Josephine is no Uncle Monty, guys. Like, she’s not supposed to be. But still.

However. There is still cool stuff to be found in this. It is still Lemony Snicket, after all.

The setting is particularly rad, which is impressive because this is one of my favorite worlds in all of literature. I like this lil village (shoutout to the Anxious Clown) and Lake Lachrymose and the harbor a lot.

Also, Uncle Monty > Aunt Josephine, but Stephano < Captain Sham. So it almost balances. Almost.

This book is not as sad as The Reptile Room (good!), but it is significantly more frustrating (not good). More and more hints at the complexity that is to come, though, sooooo….still 4.25 or 4.5 or whatever. Like it matters. It’ll be on Goodreads as four stars no matter what I say. (And screw you times infinity for that, Goodreads.)

Well, would you look at that. I still wrote a lot.

Shocker.

Bottom line: In, like, my bottom five books of the thirteen that make up my favorite series. SO ARBITRARY. And so good.


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PRE-REVIEW

I'M REREADING THESE BOOKS SO MUCH FASTER THAN I CAN REVIEW THEM.

yes, this is coming from the person who has a to-write list thirteen posts long. what of it? it's definitely the fault of these books for being so short and fun and addictive and not my fault for poor time management.

so yet again, i shall say I LOVE THIS SERIES SO MUCH, followed by that even more common phrase:

review to come

I NEED TO SCREAM FROM THE ROOFTOPS THAT I DON’T KNOW HOW TO FEEL ABOUT THIS BOOK AND THIS IS THE CLOSEST I CAN GET TO “SCREAMING” OR “ROOFTOPS” WITHOUT ENTERING THE HORRIBLE WINTER AIR OUTSIDE OR GREATLY STARTLING MY ROOMMATE.

There’s a lot to unpack here, in terms of my emotions. Not in terms of the book - that would be way too close to your actual purpose in reading this am I right???

Emotion number one on this book was EXCITEMENT because CIRCUS BOOK CIRCUS BOOK CIRCUS BOOK. I added this book to my TBR a full MONTH before release date which...is now just sounding like a normal thing to do but seemed like a big deal for me at the time.

But then...this wasn’t very circusy at all??? Maybe festivaly. But more MURDER and DARKNESS and BLOOD and CONFUSION than anything else.

You know. That classic dark high fantasy stuff.

This book was full on bonkers. So props for that I guess?? I kind of want my fantasy to be completely bananas? At least then it’s creative. But also this book was soooo confuuuuusing and there was so much world-building that it felt sloppy and just. Ugh.

To try to wrap up a massively complicated world and story into a cute lil package with a neat lil bow: Sorina is an illusionist who creates, like, people-illusions? She makes family member illusions with actual personalities, who you can see and touch and all that.

Which is cool, but also the most complicated confusing thing I’ve ever heard in my life.

This only becomes more insane when you hear what the plot of the book is: ONE OF THE ILLUSIONS GETS MURDERED. WHAAAAAT? They’re illusions! How do you murder an illusion? If you want to punch your brain into submission for 384 pages in order to find out, this is the book for you.

I, for one, didn’t love that plotline. Especially because I thought the way the murder was handled by the characters and the story was UBER WEIRD. And not like the ride sharing service my guy!!!!

Honestly I admire the author’s strength in attempting to fit this much info into a standalone under 400 pages……...especially because my reading challenge & TBR LOVED it thanks……...but this was a looooot.

To get down to brass tacks I’m just not sure I liked reading it. Or that I disliked it.

Here are some parts that I like:
- bisexual protagonist/asexual demiromantic love interest/lesbian side character (+ general diversity all around)
- this is like the most creative thing of all time, even more creative than my 2009 short story about the people from the song Don’t Stop Believing going to Candyland
- impressive setting
- a whiff of a circus concept, as if someone spoke the words “acrobats, elephants, popcorn, big top tent” in another room while this book was being written

And here are some parts that I don’t:
- the main plotline
- the ending
- the twist
- a bunch of the characters

Murdery magical circus high fantasy sounded SO IDEAL and then...look what happened. It broke everywhere. And broke my heart right alongside it.

WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE.

Bottom line: This book was the weirdest thing ever. Which I thought would be more definitively A Good Thing than it was, but...at least it wasn’t definitively bad.

yeah, ok. sure. whatever.

i read this book as kind of a test to see whether i want to read the second book in the series, and - astoundingly - i do!!! maybe i will even enjoy it!!!

but also the level of confusion i had while i was reading this made me realize i'm going to have to reread the first one before continuing. and that is just about the worst news in the entire goddamn world.

but yes, as i remembered, this world is kind of dry and interesting, katharine is cool, and everyone else sucks times infinity.

woohoo.

bottom line: this was exactly fine. novellas are the weirdest.

not the best sarah dessen, but, you know, not the worst.

there's kind of an interesting exploration of feminism and female gender identity in here??? which is not exactly what you'd expect. like, when this book started out by describing the protagonist's mom with this paragraph: "She was an expert on women in literature but didn't much like them in practice. Partly, it was because so many of them were jealous," going on to describe her unbeliiiiiieeeeevable intelligence, success, beauty, and rockin' bod. apparently, these are goddamn envy kryptonite to women everywhere.

not a great start.

but then the book takes a truly astounding number of pages to kinda...take down that way of thinking? very lightly. but like. a lot of this book works as a depiction of women who can be both smart and pretty, both sporty and girly, both intellectual and pink dress-wearing.

it does so sloppily. and slowly. and maybe inconclusively?

but it tries.

unfortunately: still a boring-as-hell guy. still a boring-as-hell girl. but also female friendship! but also really terrible parents who maybe shouldn't have been redeemed? and also a whole lot about bikes, which is weird as hell.

bottom line: i say again - not the worst dessen. but waaaaaaaaaay not the best.

nothin like a forced reread in order to write a terrible paper

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classic oedipus!!! always going and getting himself into life-ruining, city-destroying shenanigans :')

What the fuck is this supposed to be?

(I know I usually lightly censor myself, but if you can't handle the word "fuck" without the asterisk instead of the u then you definitely can't handle this book.)

The main character of this book manipulates girls into having sex with him. When discussing the fact that women have varied sexual preferences, he dismisses the concept of an entire gender not being identical sexually: "[L]adies, have a conference and decide." He fantasizes about coercing women into nudity with promises of painting them. He judges and rates women whose exes have posted their private photos online out of rage at their rejection (revenge porn). He mocks and scourges women who are as sexually active as himself, including by calling his partner a slut when their relationship goes awry.

This book explores sexual situations that lack outright or enthusiastic consent, the gender double standard of promiscuity, and the unrealistic, objectifying, even inhuman expectations porn creates in men without outright condemning any of it.

This book needs to be longer, or fuller, or...better.

Maybe I'm the asshat for thinking that this book needed to be outright with its themes (how unliterary! Can't make the author do all the work!), but when the themes are this relevant and damaging and rarely denounced...well, fucking sue me for wanting an author to do some goddamn denouncing.

Thanks to Bloomsbury for the signed ARC. My favorite publisher.

Note: I hid this review not because of spoilers, but because I don't want to bias any children (actual target audience) against this book. I know I liked pretty much every book I read growing up (hard to believe) and the last thing I want to do is create any cynicism in people who are too young for it.

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wow.

um.

this book...was catastrophically annoying.

like, i cannot even put into words how much i hate the main character. i wanted to throttle her. every single second spent within the bounds of her head was a fresh hell, it really was.

but as if that were not enough.

this island is not deserted, which on the one hand is good because i would genuinely, literally not have survived a 300-page romp through the beginnings of puberty with exclusively our protagonist, but is also, on the other hand, TERRIBLE because the cast of characters outside of Jinny (the main garbage person) is not exactly a dream team of heroes i'll tell ya that. more like 8 bratty kids. yippee.

FURTHERMORE.

this book is """mysterious""" in a way that really means "grating," and we never get any answers forever and the ending is dumb and inconclusive and this is the worst kind of magical realism (the kind where it just seems like dumb things are happening, no magic involved).

in other words..........not great.

bottom line: DO NOT LET THE COVER AND THE INTEREST-PIQUING TITLE FOOL YOU THIS IS NOT GOOD

there's a lot of weird stuff going on in this book. like, a lot of body shaming? b/c you're never too young to learn that your societal worth is based on the weight of your flesh prison. also there's this weird thing in the prologue where someone's made fun of for "ha[ving] some kind of disability." which is so next-level f*cked up that it's impossible to make excuses for.

also, not a lot of general acceptance for a middle school book. this book is literally exclusively about one girl's path to self-acceptance, even as that girl is really garbage to those around her??? constantly making fun of people for smelling bad, acting a certain way, the way they look.

middle school is hard regardless, dude. cut a kid a break.

the ending made up for some of the other stuff i previously disliked about this book, though, so. two stars. yippee.

bottom line: this is a next-level quick read, but also you should read essentially any other middle grade novel before this one.

I was sent an advanced copy of this book by the author in exchange for an honest review. Thanks to Amanda Stauffer!

Note: The quotes in this review are from an advance reader’s copy and subject to change.

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Sometimes, it’s really fun to write negative reviews. Like when a book is totally offensive and you’re a Goodreads Superhero and you write a one-star rant thing and everyone’s like You queen! Thank you for your service! I will stay away from this book forever and it’s all thanks to your holy blessed work!

Sometimes a book is just really dumb, and that’s ALSO a blast and a half because who doesn’t love pointing out fallacies? When a book makes you angry or offended or annoyed, writing a negative review is the BEST THING IN THE WORLD. (Excluding a good chocolate chip cookie, which will forever hold the record of best thing in the world.)

But sometimes writing non-positive reviews is not fun, and this is definitively one of those times.

Boo!

I am going to have a very bad time, but this will still be fun for you, probably, if you ever find me fun. Really, I give and I give. I’m generous. It’s what I do.

This book didn’t make me angry or offended or annoyed. I actually really wanted to love it. There are parts of it I did appreciate. And I think the author will write super great and fun stuff in the future. Stauffer just hasn’t hit her stride yet.

To summarize this book: Our protagonist, Alison, has a breakup and launches into the world of online dating in New York. We follow her through what feels like one million dates with one million men and it is straight up IMPOSSIBLE to keep them all straight. (Hehe. “All straight.” Because every character in this book is.) That’s pretty much it.

So we did that. Now I’m going to get the bad stuff out of the way. Frowny face.

One, this contains the not like other girls trope in a really outright and confusing way. And you guys know I literally HATE the not like other girls trope. But I’ve never read it like...this before? Example: one very unmemorable dude’s response to Alison asking what made him go out with her:

“But also, you’re not like the girls I usually date.”
“What does that mean?”
“I don’t know. You’re just not.” He shrugs.
“Well, you must have meant something by it.”
“I don’t know. You’re...different. Maybe classier?”
“Are you about to make fun of my dress from Friday night again?”
He laughs, “No. I’m serious. You just...you’re different. It’s a good thing.”
“So I take it you haven’t dated many architectural conservators before.”
“Fine, fine. Make a joke about it. I was trying to be nice.”
“You didn’t say anything!”

DO YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN. It’s like…almost a rejection of it as a compliment, but then, like, still a compliment. And not a rejection at all. And still a nice thing. And the conversation just moves on.

ALSO. Another example. Which is a worse one. When Alison is making the incredibly bold move of actually eating a meal on a dinner date (while wearing, gasp, a cowl neck shirt!!):

“It’s not a critique. I’m actually really impressed. You’re not like most girls.”

We all must take a moment of silence for Alison’s bravery. While you’re all doing that, I’m going to go take a shower and try to scrub the trope away.

My other complaints are just more...eh ones. It can drag a little. It’s hard to distinguish between the countless men. The plot gets repetitive. Alison can be soooOOOOoooOOOO unlikable. She is so hard to impress! She is so unfair to her parade of online-dating dudes! She is so judgmental!

The dialogue, which you can maybe tell, is very…italicized and ellipsis...filled and a little - choppy.

But I feel bad. Because it’s not a bad book. It’s just a debut novel.

And also there is good stuff! This has an ending that is very different from a lot of chick lit. There are really great female friendships in it. Alison is a woman who prioritizes her career, which you don’t see a lot AND WHICH I WANT TO SEE ALL THE TIME. And the plot isn’t as repetitive as it could be. (Even though this means dudes taking Alison on amazing dates and then her being really not nice to them.)

Overall, there are aspects of it that are really refreshing and great and unique, and aspects that are the opposite. Y’know??? Life is hard. Reviewing is hard. Books are hard.

Bottom line: This was kind of an eh read for me, but I still recommend other people give it a try. Especially because I see a lot of promise in Amanda Stauffer and I will tooooootally be picking up her next one, my guy.



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I received an ARC of this book from the author in exchange for an honest review.

A fast/fun read, but I had some significant prooooooblems with it. Frowny-face, boo, etc.

Review to come

I posted an extended version of this review yippee!!! More work doesn't sound like me at all but here we are!!!! Find it hereeeee: https://emmareadstoomuch.wordpress.com/2017/10/10/scales-scoundrels-review-dragons-beautiful-art-girl-protagonist/
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DRAGONSDRAGONSDRAGONSDRAGONSDRAGONSDRAGONSDRAGONSDRAGONSDRAGONSDRAGONSDRAGONS.

Honestly, the entirety of this review should just be me shouting about dragons. Because guess what. IN THIS BOOK THERE ARE DRAGONS. DRAGONS disguised as PEOPLE, to be more precise.



Yes, my love for Aziz Ansari might be getting out of hand. So what.

Here are some more super cool things about this book:

One, the protagonist is a girl!!!! That feels very unique and awesome for a fantasy graphic novel (especially one that, as I may have mentioned, features DRAGONS).

Two, said girl is very badass and punch-y. I love a fighty protagonist. VIOLENCE!!!!

Three, there's a surprisingly solid amount of diversity!!!!! Which is really so awesome.

Four, this is actually decently funny! We be crackin' jokes the whole time.

Five, THE ART IS SO GORGEOUS. UNBELIEVABLY BEAUTIFUL, ACTUALLY. There are certain panels that just made me turn into a heart-eyes emoji. Like the Gushers commercials from the early 2000s that depict kids eating Gushers and turning into grape-headed monsters. Except with beautiful drawings of sunsets over medieval-looking towns instead of Gushers and an emoticon instead of a horrifying 3D animated fruit.



Horrifying.

I only have little complaints. This is only a volume of what will be a larger graphic novel, so it's very short. Impossible to really fall in love with ya know??? It felt a little clichéd at some points and some of the dialogue felt false, but overall this was THE FUNNEST.

Bottom line: Dragonsdragonsdragonsdragonsdragons. Read this!!!

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pre-review

Here is the coolest thing that has ever happened to me: I got an ARC of this before there was even a Goodreads page for it.

Yeah, that's right.

I made this page.

Google and Amazon are currently in a bidding war for my technical prowess.

Anyway can't wait to read this baby!!!!!!