I NEED TO SCREAM FROM THE ROOFTOPS THAT I DON’T KNOW HOW TO FEEL ABOUT THIS BOOK AND THIS IS THE CLOSEST I CAN GET TO “SCREAMING” OR “ROOFTOPS” WITHOUT ENTERING THE HORRIBLE WINTER AIR OUTSIDE OR GREATLY STARTLING MY ROOMMATE.

There’s a lot to unpack here, in terms of my emotions. Not in terms of the book - that would be way too close to your actual purpose in reading this am I right???

Emotion number one on this book was EXCITEMENT because CIRCUS BOOK CIRCUS BOOK CIRCUS BOOK. I added this book to my TBR a full MONTH before release date which...is now just sounding like a normal thing to do but seemed like a big deal for me at the time.

But then...this wasn’t very circusy at all??? Maybe festivaly. But more MURDER and DARKNESS and BLOOD and CONFUSION than anything else.

You know. That classic dark high fantasy stuff.

This book was full on bonkers. So props for that I guess?? I kind of want my fantasy to be completely bananas? At least then it’s creative. But also this book was soooo confuuuuusing and there was so much world-building that it felt sloppy and just. Ugh.

To try to wrap up a massively complicated world and story into a cute lil package with a neat lil bow: Sorina is an illusionist who creates, like, people-illusions? She makes family member illusions with actual personalities, who you can see and touch and all that.

Which is cool, but also the most complicated confusing thing I’ve ever heard in my life.

This only becomes more insane when you hear what the plot of the book is: ONE OF THE ILLUSIONS GETS MURDERED. WHAAAAAT? They’re illusions! How do you murder an illusion? If you want to punch your brain into submission for 384 pages in order to find out, this is the book for you.

I, for one, didn’t love that plotline. Especially because I thought the way the murder was handled by the characters and the story was UBER WEIRD. And not like the ride sharing service my guy!!!!

Honestly I admire the author’s strength in attempting to fit this much info into a standalone under 400 pages……...especially because my reading challenge & TBR LOVED it thanks……...but this was a looooot.

To get down to brass tacks I’m just not sure I liked reading it. Or that I disliked it.

Here are some parts that I like:
- bisexual protagonist/asexual demiromantic love interest/lesbian side character (+ general diversity all around)
- this is like the most creative thing of all time, even more creative than my 2009 short story about the people from the song Don’t Stop Believing going to Candyland
- impressive setting
- a whiff of a circus concept, as if someone spoke the words “acrobats, elephants, popcorn, big top tent” in another room while this book was being written

And here are some parts that I don’t:
- the main plotline
- the ending
- the twist
- a bunch of the characters

Murdery magical circus high fantasy sounded SO IDEAL and then...look what happened. It broke everywhere. And broke my heart right alongside it.

WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE.

Bottom line: This book was the weirdest thing ever. Which I thought would be more definitively A Good Thing than it was, but...at least it wasn’t definitively bad.