shelfreflectionofficial's reviews
800 reviews

“She was a human-sized bad omen, as if she’d smashed every mirror, walked under every ladder and put new shoes on every table she’d ever seen. Lenny didn’t really put stock in superstitions and yet her track record spoke for itself.”


I’m guessing the title of this book will be a bit misleading for most. Lenny Marks Gets Away with Murder is basically the Aussie version of Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine. Not in a way where this book isn’t worth reading— because it is— it will just feel a little familiar.

It’s not a thriller. It’s a partly light-hearted and humorous, partly tragic and dark family drama with a neurodivergent main character who is haunted by the malicious phrase “You did this.” without the full memories to explain it.


Thirty-seven- year old Lenny Marks is our practical, straight-forward neurodivergent main character. When she gets overwhelmed she reorganizes words in her head to create anagrams. Or she watches episodes of Friends. She is logical; she labels everything, checks her locks multiple times before bed; she is always nice and polite and sticks to her schedule.

“Lenny’s existence was many things: simply, predictable and uneventful. It had taken considerable effort and time to get to this point and she was not planning on disrupting the perfectly good order of things.”

But just as Eleanor Oliphant’s routine gets disrupted, so does Lenny’s. Except instead of an IT guy, Lenny begins a friendship with Ned, the grocery store guy who is his own version of nerd with his board game making/playing and love of Lord of the Rings and Buffy the Vampire Slayer. [I love worker placement board games so I would totally be friends with Ned.]

Well, more than the various people that start sneaking their way into her life, her bubble is popped by a letter from a parole board regarding her stepfather. And it sends her into a drawn out tailspin as she struggles with the childhood trauma that haunts her and has driven her to avoid relationships. She has gotten into the habit of making up friends and saying no to social invites, but all of a sudden more and more people are creeping into our life in more than a passing way.

This book is the story of how Lenny confronts her memories and how she comes out of her shell: The One Where Lenny Marks Gets a Life.

But yet, we must not forget the title. Because although this book is not a thriller, the title isn’t a lie. How does someone as nice as Lenny Marks find herself in such a provocative title?

“The woman whose most outrageous move, as far as anyone knew, was to down six wines at a suburban trivia night. She was a renowned truth-teller, honest to a fault. She was only conceivably deadly on a Scrabble board.”

And so, in order to find out how she is inconceivable deadly, you’ll have to read the book…



Random Thoughts

I really thought Mr. Pointy was going to become a murder weapon and I’m a little disappointed that it didn’t.


“Good Vibes Only was emblazoned across it… Lenny always thought that particular cushion imposed undue pressure on anyone who came across it. Sometimes one had only mediocre vibes, which should also be acceptable.”

Preach! That phrase and ‘sending good vibes’ are a major pet peeve of mine. Keep your vibrations to yourself. Let me be mediocrely vibing and leave me alone.


“Her knowledge of coupledom could be grouped with what she knew about flying a plane or doing French braids; she knew these things could happen but had no idea how.”

Piloting and french braiding truly are the mysteries of life.


I spent too much time googling netball. Because then I watched some highlight clips and then I needed to know the defensive rules because it appeared like no one was attempting to block shots. And to be honest it left me wondering: why do we need netball if we have basketball?


This book was written and set during the Covid-19 pandemic but the author chose not to incorporate it because social distancing would really put a damper on Lenny’s blossoming social life. I appreciate her choice. I’ve read several books that were written during that time now. I’ve read some that incorporate the pandemic and most that don’t and I will say the books that don’t have the pandemic are way more pleasurable to read.

A couple other notes on the author: she knows Sally Hepworth and was encouraged by her to write this book. Hepworth is an automatic read for me. Check out her books HERE. Also Mayne owns 11 copies of The Hobbit.


Obligatory Aussie Terminology

If you follow my reviews then you know I often include a section of things or words I learned from the book. This one is set in and written by an Aussie. I’ve read quite a few books written by Aussies, but I’m still learning new things!

 jaffle: I really wanted this to be a kind of a laugh but I’m told it’s a grilled cheese sandwich; if you want a true jaffle, I’ve discovered you’re going to need a jaffle maker iron which cuts and seals the sandwich into two triangle pieces

 Salada: popular Australian cracker that comes in varieties such as spinach, iceberg, and spring mix

 melting moments: shortbread cookies with lemon in between; you eat these right after your kids do something real cute

 doona: quilted comforter; also what you pull over your head when you doona want to get out of bed

 esky: portable cooler probably invented by eskimos

 hot Milo: like a hot chocolate with malt

 the tip: the dump; or more precisely, the very very top of the dump- the views are superb

 Bonox: not to be confused with Botox, this is a beef extract and used as a drink, do NOT inject it into your face, or we will know exactly where the beef is.

 windcheater: windbreaker that breaks the wind illegally

 Dandenong Range: yet another aspect of Australia that surprises me. If they didn’t have so many creatures that could kill me, I’d be booking my ticket over there right now!

 Bonus: oesophagus. I know about different British spellings, but I had never seen this one before!


Recommendation

I would definitely recommend this book! It was an enjoyable read even if it wasn’t quite the thriller I was expecting.

I wouldn’t say it really surprised me because I had read similar books, but Lenny Marks is still her own character and I was happy to see her character develop and see the good in humanity. Sometimes we don’t realize the good until we contrast it with the bad and this book showcases that difference.

It was also a pretty clean book which I appreciate as well. Minimal swearing and sexual content. However, if abuse is a trigger for you, you may want to pass on it.

Now that I know Kerryn Mayne’s style of writing I would read another one written by her- I see she has a new book out this year called Joy Moody is Out of Time that features twins and a character named Britney, which may or may not be too close to home. I might have to give it a shot!



[Content Advisory: 10 f-words, 3 s-words, 5 b-words; no sexual content; some child abuse situations]

**Received an ARC via NetGalley **

“I am no Gold. I am a Red… Forged in the bowels of this hard world. Sharpened by hate. Strengthened by love.”

“I am the spark that will set the worlds afire. I am the hammer that cracks the chains.”


I’m a little late to the Red Rising Party as this book came out in 2014, but I’m happy to be here and since all the books are out I’m also happy I don’t have to wait for the next one!

This is your classic dystopian fantasy/sci-fi series about classism and the rebellion against the ruling elite. It’s similar to Hunger Games, Maze Runner, and Lord of the Flies but a more intense, adult version. Yes, there are a bunch of youths fighting one another in an arena of sorts where the rules constantly change, the outcome appears rigged, and their humanity is on the brink of being lost forever. But they are in space and the writing is more graphic and ruthless.

Just like Katniss wasn’t like any other fighter in her arena, so too is this series’ hero— Darrow who has his own special skills and back story. Also like Katniss, he comes from the lowest ‘class’ and is fighting against the elite, ruling class. He will also become the face of the rebellion (at least that’s what this series seems to be telling me). His motivations for winning are also what sets him apart from the others he is fighting.


Somehow the Society has not figured out that if you kill someone’s wife you are the catalyst for creating your own demise because that man will rise up like a superhuman warrior and rip your throats out. Or something close to it. [See Gladiator, Braveheart, Memento, Sweeney Todd, Law-Abiding Citizen, or Rocky IV if Apollo Creed was wife...] Seems like this should be bad-guy-101: killing wives spawns rebel warriors.

I mean I was just 40 pages in and my heart was already ripped out so that was fun. But it did immediately invest me in the success of Darrow. The stakes felt very high throughout the whole book.

This series is six books long so I’m curious how many diversions we will have before Darrow gets his revenge, but I love a good story of justice served so I’m here for it. However, one main theme in this book is Darrow figuring out the difference between revenge and justice. He is not a perfect hero and I’m not sure what we will have to go through to reach that justice and if it will be worth it in the end. That is the draw of the story for me now.

“They want my memory short. But all my people sing of are memories… I must not become like them. I’ll remember that every sin, every death, every sacrifice, is for freedom.”

This book did take a while to get into because you’re dropped right into the middle of this foreign world, a terraformed Mars, and this colony of Reds has their own vernacular. It takes a minute to figure out what’s what, who’s who, and why it matters.

I definitely felt immersed in the world. It probably helped that I was able to read large chunks of the book at a time. I think especially when you first start this book you should have the ability to read a big chunk first or it might lose you.

Although, overall, I felt the world-building was good, I think there are still parts of the world I’m struggling to picture. I don’t know what a terraformed Mars looks like because the planet is red. But in this book there are mountains , snow, forests and water and so I’m struggling to understand the science behind how this happens— are they in a big bubble of some kind? Or is that aspect just something I need to accept as ‘the way it is.’ Because although they are in space, Earth is not obsolete. It’s not as if Earth was destroyed hundreds of years ago so I’m still wrapping my mind around the setting.



Basic Premise

Darrow is sixteen and part of the Red Colony. Everyone on Mars is divided into social classes identified by color: Oranges are technicians, Obsidians are soldiers, Coppers are bureaucrats, Yellows are doctors, Reds are diggers, etc. And of course the highest of all are the prestigious, genetically modified to be superior Golds.

The Reds are so low on the totem pole that they don’t even realize that they have been enslaved. They think their work mining helium-3 is essential to the planet becoming habitable for everyone eventually.

In this colony marriage happens young. Darrow has a wife. Life is hard, but he is content to dig and come home to the love of his life. It is enough and the work feels important.

“Without me, she would not eat. Without her, I would not live.”

The hierarchy is unfair and oppressive, but rebellion comes at too high of a cost.

“We are a people of dance and song and family. It is the one resistance we can manage against the Society that rules us… Yet to remind us of our place, they make one song and one dance punishable by death. My father made that dance his last.”

Like his father, Darrow’s wife has a dream of rebellion and freedom. In one of her last acts she shows Darrow a glimpse of the world above— the planet has already been habitable for many years and has been built on the backs of the Reds who will never see the spoils of their labor. They are supposed to stay enslaved in the lies and oppressed into submission.

She sees what Darrow could become.

“Emptiness is living chained by fear, fear of loss, of death. Break the chains of fear and you break the chains that bind us to the Golds, to the Society. Mars could be ours.”

At her punishment for going outside the boundaries, she sings the forbidden song and both Darrow and her pay the ultimate cost.

In a bitter twist, Darrow does not find himself in the vale with his wife. Death has not claimed him. Instead a band of rebels with connections arranges for his ‘rebirth’ into the society above. They plan to infiltrate the Gold from within in order to bring them down. Darrow, Red to the bone, becomes a Gold, tutored in their ways and mannerisms. Gold in the face, but Red in the heart.

“I’m a sheep wearing wolves’ clothing in a pack of wolves.”

The first step for him is entrance into the academy that will send him on the needed trajectory for leadership over armies or squadrons. Part of the entrance process involves an elaborate capture the flag ‘game’ between the twelve ‘houses’ of the Society. While it’s not specifically a fight to the death like Hunger Games, death, torture, mutilation, and rape become acceptable practices as the Gold warriors compete to win the accolades and the best job prospects post-game.

“You’ll realize you are a good man who will have to do bad things.”

“That’s what they are teaching us, not only the pain in gaining power, but the desperation that comes when you are not a Gold.”



Love and War

It is always interesting to read these kind of books that challenge the idea of violence as entertainment or that expose people’s true violent capability.

Why do we enjoy these books?

“What we must study is humanity. In order to rule, ours must be the study of political, psychological, and behavioral science— how desperate human beings react to one another, how packs form, how armies function, how things fall apart and why. You could learn this nowhere else but here.”

Perhaps we tell ourselves that this is extreme and this would never happen to us. Perhaps we think we are learning. It’s something worth pondering. But whatever we think as we’re reading, I think it would be hard to deny that what we must come to grips with is our own capacity for evil. Pushed to their limits or put in a crucible of the right ingredients, people will do unspeakable things.

People aren’t inherently good. We have something inside us that wants to always choose the selfish option. Self-preservation. Anyone but me. We’re pretty good at justifying our actions so we don’t have to confront our own sinfulness.

There is no doubt that we need a Savior. And thank God we don’t have to rebirth our own version of one we cross our fingers will be enough to bring us freedom. There is a man perfect and holy enough to live the life we never could and die the death we deserved, not because he was pushed to the limits, but because he willingly offered Himself out of love for his enemies. Us.

That person is Jesus. And his sacrifice is a done deal. No finger-crossing required.

These kinds of books remind me that I am thankful for that sacrifice. I am thankful that he has the cure for my own sin. He has the freedom that releases me from being enslaved to my own selfishness and I don’t have to sew myself into a horse carcass to get it.

These thoughts bring me to this quote from the book:

“Love and war are two different battlefields.”

Is it true?



Recommendation

I would definitely recommend this book and series as long as you can handle the violence. It’s not for everyone and that’s totally okay. There are plenty of other books to read.

I also would not recommend this for teenagers. It is definitely a different level than Hunger Games and even though the characters are teenagers, I wouldn’t say it’s appropriate for young readers.

I am looking forward to continuing this series and watching the trajectory of justice take its course.



[Content Advisory: The world-building includes a new vernacular for swearing. I suppose that makes it easier to read because they aren’t traditional swear words but there is still some crassness in the dialogue and obviously a lot of gore and violence.]

"We’ll be equipped to really examine our motivations— why do we eat the way we do? Why do we exercise, or not exercise? Why are we inclined to go to great lengths to look a few years younger? Why do we have this tendency or that tendency? And crucially, where is God calling us into something better? In what ways is he inviting us into freedom?”


I’ve realized lately that now, post-four-kids, I’ve thought more about my weight, the size of my clothes, my eating and exercising habits than I ever did before. My body has changed. For a good reason. But I need to reorient the way I view this change because I’m being bombarded with a lot of different opinions about how that view should be formed and I know many of those are unhealthy.

When I saw this book I knew it would be a good thing for me to read. Having finished it, I can confirm that was correct. I think any woman would benefit from reading this book.

It’s a hard book to write and I commend Stacy for taking it on. It’s difficult not to approach it wanting or expecting some hard line answers on what is right or wrong to eat or drink and how to exercise. I’m sure there will be readers unsatisfied with the book because they don’t feel like they got any ‘answers’ or a yellow brick road guiding them to fulfillment.

We also probably all come to the book with some sort of guilt that we’d like alleviated by realizing- ‘Oh I’m not doing that bad thing so what I’m doing is fine.’ And maybe it is totally fine, but this book will only be helpful if we come to honestly evaluate ourselves and our own motivations for what we do.

Even though I come away from the book still feeling a little disoriented on what my eating and exercising should look like, I don’t think Stacy left me hanging. I think she has provided the biblical and appropriate blueprint for viewing our bodies and our habits. We have to put in some work to do some honest self reflection and questioning of our motives and choices and decide what God is calling us to. It may not be an immediate lightbulb moment, but what she puts forth in this book is true and there is some freedom and diversity in how these principles get applied to our individual lives.


After reflecting on the concept of beauty itself, Stacy asks us whose kingdom we are seeking. This is a key question. Is our focus heavenward and eternal or inward and earthly?

The second part of her book covers four main areas: exercise; food restrictions; overindulgence; and beauty and aging.

She also includes an appendix about disordered eating. It’s important to note that this book is not tackling eating disorders like anorexia or bulimia, etc. Struggles to that degree will most likely require some specialized help that Stacy is not offering in these pages.



The main point Stacy makes is that any good thing can turn into a bad thing if it becomes an idol or a replacement of God.

“Idols are the thoughts, desires, longing, and expectations that we worship in the place of the true God. Idols cause us to ignore the true God in search of what we think we need.” [she quotes Tim Keller, Counterfeit Gods]

Do we go first to food or exercise for comfort instead of allowing God to meet our needs?

Have we become obsessed with our bodies and our appearance or the food we eat? Are our thoughts and days consumed with trying clothes on, make-up and skin care routines, particular meal planning, diet research, and exercising?

It’s not that caring about our appearance or what we put in our bodies or what we do with our bodies is bad. Our bodies matter and what we do with them matters. But our motives matter too. It’s less about the diet and the exercise as much as it is about the heart behind it.

I think this is especially an important book to think about if you have kids. They observe the way we act and talk about ourselves, the comments we make when we look in the mirror or look at other people’s bodies. We need to be sending the right message.

After four kids, and my last two being twins that required a C-section, I developed diastasis recti which essentially makes me still look pregnant because I have no abs. Kids speak their minds and my stomach is often the topic of conversation: ‘Do you have a baby in there? Why is your stomach so big? You’re a big mommy! Look how big your tummy is!’ It gets tricky with teaching them about what we do or do not say about people’s bodies without also somehow indicating that there is a ‘right’ shape of what a body should look like.

I think it’s important for my daughters to see that having kids does change your body. And that’s not a bad thing. We don’t need to hide the evidence that we carried and delivered children. Being pregnant and having a child is a gift and a sacrifice. It’s not something to lament because it means I have to buy bigger jeans now.

My 7 year old is already very interested in make-up and fashion. I see her watching older girls and taking in what they’re wearing and what they look like. She already equates make-up with beauty. It starts young and we need to be prepared to communicate biblical truths about appearance to our kids because our culture can’t help but ingratiate us with a standard for beauty that is really hard to detach from.



Stacy rightly warns us that while ‘obsession’ is a ditch we should avoid, so too is ‘apathy.’ In order to avoid obsession we can’t just swing the pendulum the complete opposite direction and say that none of it matters and freedom means we just do whatever we want. Self-control is still a fruit of the Spirit. Our bodies are still temples and something God gave us to steward rightly.

We have to find that middle ground. And it’s not easy.

I have friends throughout the whole spectrum of eating and exercise. Friends who are very disciplined in training. Friends who are very conscious about food and doing a variety of diets. There are no carb diets, organic diets, avoiding red-dyes or processed foods. Heavy on meat. Low on fruit. High in vegetables. Cutting out sugar. No meat at all. All natural. All convenience.

I love and respect all my friends and their choices. But where does that leave me? It’s hard not to feel like there is one way to do it and I have to figure out which friend figured out the secret recipe to Christian living and eating and exercising. If we do it differently does that mean I’m doing it wrong??

Generally speaking, I think it’s created disunity in the church and in our friendships because we recognize the differences in people’s lifestyles and we don’t know what to do about it. Especially if the reasons for our choices feel really important. If something works for us or helps us we want to share it with others- Have you tried this? This will help you lose weight! This will help you feel better! This promotes gut health! Spread the good news! It’s only natural. Reasons could be physical, mental, political, fundamental, scientific, etc. and we want to inform others and help others.

We aren’t all on the same page and it feels uncomfortable.

But the Bible tells us that what we put into our bodies is not what makes us unclean. Eating food with red dye or preservatives does not make us bad people. Cutting sugar out of our diet doesn’t make us bad people. Eating fast food for dinner doesn’t make us bad people.

Food is not a moral category.

The Bible does talk about overindulgence and drunkenness so I think there are a few lines we can draw but overall we need to allow others to do things differently. You can bake sourdough bread to the glory of God and you can buy white bread from the store to the glory of God. We can also make choices to feel superior to be selfish or to be spiteful. Our motivation is important.

There is no list of do’s and dont’s here. To some degree I think I was looking for that because I want it to be simple. I just want to do the RIGHT thing. But I think that just means I need to sit with it more.


I think it would help us to talk about it with friends and see if you can pinpoint what exactly bothers you and why. See if you can determine how you truly view food and exercise. I think it’s also good to recognize where you are making good choices for good reasons. This is not an all or nothing book. Celebrate your successes and work on other parts. That’s honest.

I would definitely recommend this book because I think this concept is super relevant and would help us as a church body and in our individual relationships to find freedom from the world’s standard of beauty or from the pressures of thinking there is a ‘biblical’ diet.

I think this is an important book for Christian women to read so we can stop playing the comparison/judging/self-deprecating game.

I wonder if this book would be more effective if it was read in a group of women because I think there is some processing that needs to happen and dialogue with a friend to think through some of these things.

At the same time, I think reading this book in a group could have its challenges and may create deeper divisions if the conversation gets hung up in the wrong places in an attempt to be prescriptive or persuasive.

Be wise in the group you read it with, but at the very least, share your thoughts with a trusted friend and explore how you think God may be calling you in your own life.

Stay focused on what your motivations are and how you can best serve Christ. Consider what messages you may be sending to your family and friends. Make choices that keep God in lordship of your life and your help in times of struggle. Those are the areas I think this book is meant to speak into. Carbs, dyes, sugars, cross-fit, treadmills, anti-aging creams, and mascara are secondary.

“Instead of obsessing over our physical appearance or being apathetic, we can lean into the Lord for godly wisdom and self-discipline. We can look for ways to be thankful for how God created us, and we can care for our physical selves in a way that enables us to serve others. The efforts we make to strengthen our muscles, to rest, to eat nourishing foods, to offer hospitality, and to forgo our preferences for the sake of others can all be signs of the Spirit of God dwelling inside of us.”


**Received a copy of this book from The Good Book Company in exchange for an honest review.** 

“What was love, anyway, but the feeling of being tied up with someone, so deeply connected that it was impossible to root them out of your life without pulling out whole pieces of yourself? It didn’t have to be a good thing, a pleasant thing. Love could be terrible, too.”


I came across this book because it was recommended by an author I really enjoy: Nicole Baart. I was intrigued by the title and premise because it reminded me of The Last Thing He Told Me which I really liked. I gave it a shot.

It was a bit different than I was expecting but still an enjoyable read.


I thought it was funny that the main character, Regan (pronounced Ree-gan), was a graphic designer and her husband, John, was a financial advisor, because my husband is a financial advisor and I went to college for graphic design! And at the time I was reading this book, which is set in Minnesota, I was in Bloomington Minnesota and had visited Minnetonka Falls just a day before I read that scene in the book. Fun relatables.


The thing that disappointed me about the book was that there was more language and sexual content than I was expecting. Baart’s books are pretty clean so I assumed what she was recommending would largely be too. So I didn’t care for all of that, but the story itself was still good and worth reading.


The premise is this:

“The day before he went missing, Regan’s husband bought her a lake house.”

A very expensive lake house. Once she discovered he didn’t come home that night the FBI show up at her door to arrest her husband for fraud. A Ponzi scheme.

She doesn’t tell the FBI about the house but instead sneaks over there to find her husband. Instead she finds a bag with a million dollars in cash waiting for her.

Her life starts to unravel as she realizes her husband is not the man she thought he was and now she’s caught in the middle of his crimes with two children to still provide for and a narcissistic mother in the wings saying ‘I told you so.’

Regan will do whatever it takes to protect herself and her children, but is she just digging herself deeper into the fray?



The book starts from Regan’s POV. She gives us background into her and John’s relationship, how they met, and some red flags she noticed along the way but chose to ignore.

About halfway through the book shifts to John’s POV. He goes through some of the same events and encounters but from his perspective, filling in the blanks or ‘correcting’ for us readers what Regan thought was happening.

Part 3 changes to third person narration as it combines the characters for the climax of the book.

I’m not sure I ever really found the characters likeable. There were parts of each of them that were just dysfunctional or choices they made I found stupid. I mostly felt bad for their kids.

It did seem like John’s chapters were meant to earn him some sympathy and understanding as if he had no choice to do what he did or at least there were other things to blame, but there was no sympathy from me over here.

And the last few sentences wasn’t a huge surprise to me considering what I already thought about the characters.

So if you read books to really connect to the characters and invest in their lives, you might not find that here.

But the first line draws you in, the anticipation of finding out who John really is and how things got to this point, and how Regan will get out of it are the things that keep you reading.



Recommendation

For the most part I would recommend this book. It’s a pretty quick read and has good bones.

The only reason I would deter you from reading would be if the language and sexual content is something you would like to avoid.


[Content Advisory: 65 f-words, 35 s-words, 6 uses of God’s name in vain, several sexual scenes not super graphic but more than passing references, one of them infidelity]


**Received an ARC via NetGalley and the author in exchange for an honest review**

“Waiting on God is living on what I know to be true about God when I don’t know what’s true about my life.”


I hate waste. Wasted food, wasted money, wasted time, wasted opportunities, wasted words.

When I saw the title of this book I knew I needed to read it. So much of life is spent waiting in some form or another and I needed to be able to see how it wasn’t a waste.

I loved Vroegop’s book Dark Clouds, Deep Mercy, and this is almost an extension of that book. Although that book focuses on the idea of lamenting and how we struggle through our grief, the principles he directs us to in both books are similar.

He points us to the person of God. Who is God when we hurt? Who is God when we are waiting? The answer is the most important part of both journeys. We trust God in the pain because we know what is true about him. We trust God in the waiting because we know what is true about him.

We may not know what is true about our lives or what’s next, but what is true about God is unchanging, unlike our circumstances or our feelings. He is consistent, reliable, trustworthy, loving, just, and true.



I like how Vroegop divided this book. The chapters are titled in answer to the question ‘how do we wait on God’ because it’s not a matter of if or when. We’re in it now, so let’s not waste this time.

He exhorts us to wait:

- Honestly (waiting is hard)

- Frequently (waiting is common)

- Thoughtfully (waiting is biblical)

- Patiently (waiting is slow)

- Intentionally (waiting is commanded)

- Collectively (waiting is relational)

Waiting is always seen as a negative thing. In a world where convenience and speed is the order of the day, we do everything we can to avoid waiting. It’s shocking how incapable we are of waiting.


It was really convicting to think about shifting my mindset on waiting to view it from a biblical lens. To expect to wait. To understand that God factored that into the creation of the world on purpose.

“God designed waiting in the world and in redemption so that he’s central, not you or me. The frequency of waiting confronts our desire for control.”

If we stop acting surprised or frustrated when we are forced to wait and we start seeing it as an opportunity to express faith, for one our attitude changes, but two, what we do in that gap of life becomes a lot more active and productive.


Vroegop doesn’t sugarcoat waiting as if it’s all rainbows and butterflies. As he shares in his other book, he is no stranger to pain, grief, and really hard times of waiting. This isn’t a book that presents the power of positive thinking as the recipe to contentment and satisfaction.

He just takes something that the world has a constructed a perception and worldview around (waiting) and removes the blinders for us. He calls us back to God’s design for waiting.

“Waiting is the spiritual posture of endurance.”



He says that he’s not a fan of acronyms but because in those moments it’s hard to think or recall too deeply, he made an exception for this.

He uses FAST to help reorient his perspective and his mindset in the waiting:

Focus: The picture he gave here was of a sickly person coming outside to be warmed by the sun. I found this a really compelling image and one I can definitely relate to. To be in the light. To lift my face to the warm sun and feel it wash over me. It’s the picture of looking to God in our cold and dark waiting times. It’s letting him and who he is cover me and penetrate to my bones reminding me it’s going to be okay.

Adore: “worshipfully rehearse what you know to be true about God.” He offers a list of relevant Scriptures in the back of the book to meditate on. I think reflecting on really well-written lyrics of worship songs can do this as well. We may think ‘Oh I already know who God is’ but it’s something very different to read the words repeatedly, or out loud, or write them down, or to pray them that connects our knowledge to our hearts.

Seek- “it is active not fatalistic resignation.” I think this is an important distinction because if we believe in God’s sovereignty, it’s tempting to just say we’re going to wait it out because what’s the point, God’s going to do what he wants to do. But that’s not biblical waiting. I like how he says, “patient waiting is not fatalistic or pessimistic. It’s the hopeful commitment to seek God’s help creatively and faithfully while staying put.”

Trust- “embrace by faith the contentment and spiritual rest that come from knowing God can be trusted.” Waiting typically generates anger or anxiety because waiting takes away our control and the ability to be certain about what comes next. If we are trusting, we don’t have to be fearful or anxious. If we are seeing God for who he is and seeking to see him at work in our waiting, there won’t be room for anger or anxiety.


Throughout the book Vroegop walks through Psalm 40 and quotes extensively from Andrew Murray’s work to show us how a Christian is called to wait.

Waiting is an act of obedience. Waiting is abiding. Waiting connects us to hope. Waiting gives feet to our faith, even if those feet are called to be still instead of run around in circles. Waiting isn’t about what is happening to us, but what could happen in us.


Not only as a human being who has to wait way more than I would like to, but also as a mother of four children who think 30 seconds is an eternity, this book gave me a lot to think about. My kids hate waiting and they will basically never not have to wait so why not stretch their waiting ‘muscle’ now. To teach kids this from an early age would be hugely beneficial in the long run because their expectations will already be adjusted.

The things we wait for as adults are heavier than the snack or screen time waits of children, but the principle doesn’t change.



I think this book is highly relevant and a great read for anyone.

As I’ve said, I hate wasted time, and I can promise you that reading this book is not a waste of yours.

“… they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.” — Isaiah 40:30

 “I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living. Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.” — Psalm 27:13-14


**Received a copy of this book from Crossway Books in exchange for an honest review.** 

“Look, we’re not a family of psychopaths. Some of us are good, others are bad, and some just unfortunate. Which one am I?”

“One day you’ll realize family isn’t about whose blood runs in your veins, it’s who you’d spill it for.”


This was a fun read!

It is a present-day whodunnit with the principles of the ‘Golden Age’ of mystery novels, aka Agathe Christie and G.K. Chesterton (who I had no idea wrote fiction!). I agree with others who say it has a Knives Out vibe. It is set to be released at some point as a limited series on HBO so depending on how many f-words they feel like adding for ‘stupid’ effect, I might watch it.

This book is a bit unique because it has a narrator, speaking in first person, but deliberately speaking to the reader as if recounting his tale in person. He offers some foreshadowing, but holds himself to the (non-fictional) ‘10 Commandments of Detective Fiction’ that are listed in the front of the book.

I know some are bored by that type of story and prefer the super twisty, unreliable narrator tropes that are popular today. But I definitely appreciate a good mystery that doesn’t rely on lies or supernatural explanations but “plays fair”. [Surprise twins may be my one exception though because sometimes I think that’s figureoutable.]

“They’ve become more about the tricks the author can deploy: what’s up their sleeve instead of what’s in their hand.”

I still vividly remember the cheated feeling I had when I read Gone Girl and found out the ‘twist’ partway through the book.

I like a twist as much as the next person, but I think there is something to admire about an author who writes the clues in and gives the reader the ability to ‘figure it out’ rather than be strung along whiplashed back and forth between big reveal to big reveal.



In ‘Everyone in My Family Has Killed Someone’ the narrator is Ernest Cunningham, who writes books about how to write books. He plays our informal detective in the story. Right up front he assures us that the title is not a lie— everyone really has killed someone, including himself.

The book is sectioned off with labels from his different family members (i.e. brother, mother, stepfather, stepsister, etc) and takes a few trips to the past to explain some backstory on that family member.

The main crime, however, is happening in real time as Ernest is at a ski resort in Australia (which I was today years old finding out there is snow in Australia and after reading this and Homecoming, I think my elementary education did a crappy job of really explaining to me what Australia looks like and I’m a smidge bit mad about it) with his whole family. His brother is just getting out of jail and joining them as part of the reunion.

Shortly before his brother arrives a body is found dead in the snow. No one knows who it is and no one is missing from the roster of guests. Of course there is a storm and some difficulty getting up to the resort so Ernest, his family (who are not too keen on police), and the lone police officer are stuck trying to unravel the mystery of the dead man.

“It seemed clear to me: the only way to put my family back together again was to find out which one of them was a killer. Well, we all are— I’ve already told you that. I just mean most recently.”

The body county doesn’t stop at one and the suspect pool narrows.



A few comments on his family that I enjoyed:

“[Ernie and Erin] are practically anagrams. When people used to ask us how we met, we’d say, ‘Alphabetically.’”

Sofia’s Bingo card is exactly something I would do at a family reunion. I also always look into hotel rooms that I pass by when they’re being cleaned.

Michael (his brother) was married to Lucy: “she is a Small Business Owner in the same way Andy (his uncle) is a Feminist, in that she declares it loudly, often, and she’s the only one who believes it.”


Recommendation

I would definitely recommend this book! It has some humor and a fun narrator, which I suppose given the premise makes the humor a bit dark or irreverent. But the writing was clever and compelling and drew me in right away.

I did figure out the killer a little bit before halfway, but it was written in such a way that I wasn’t super confident the entire time that I was right.

There were some parts that were a little hard to follow because the narration asked you to read between the lines and I wasn’t sure I was thinking along the right path. But ultimately that didn’t matter or affect my ability to enjoy the book.

Benjamin Stevenson has another book out called ‘Everyone on This Train is a Suspect’ that I plan to read as well as a Christmas one coming out soon that I have early access to read.



If you WOULD like to read about an entire family of psychopaths, check out the thriller The Family Bones; it’s right up your alley.


[Content Advisory: Not much, if any swearing (I wrote this review too long after I read it to remember for sure); I’m sure if HBO is putting this one out they will add a bunch of content but I don’t remember the book having much to worry about]

For some reason when I started this book I didn’t realize it wasn’t a present-day setting. This is set in the 1900s in Mayfair, London which actually just added to the intrigue because pulling off a heist before the age of technology is a whole different beast.


I’m a fan of the ‘heist’ concept. I enjoyed all the Oceans movies even though to some they felt repetitive. I like the ‘planning’ phase and the ‘executing’ phase. I can picture this book as a movie in that regard.

The mastermind behind the heist in The Housekeepers is the freshly fired main Housekeeper Mrs. King. Having worked in the house for a long time and then running it, she knows all the ins and outs of the interworkings, the staff, and the inventory therein.

This heist is mostly an act of revenge, but possibly something else underlies her motives for seeking to empty the entire house of its contents.

The target go-time is the night of a ball the house’s Mistress is putting on. Imagine all of Mayfair’s elite society packed into a grand house while a team works behind the scenes to remove every painting, tapestry, fork, and chair from the premises to sell on the black market.

This is somewhat of a women-helping-women concept as the main players are all women, each with their own connection to the house. There is a thread of #MeToo in it as well.

I’m not sure I really ever felt a connection to the characters, though. They were hard to picture and keep distinct from one another, except maybe the Janes.

I do like the concept of of housekeepers banding together to pull one over on their employer. Housekeepers are a popular character trope these days, but I think this one is an interesting take. Makes you realize how much the help was trusted and what could happen if they got it in their heads to get what they deserved!


I was a little disappointed in the finished product of this book. I really like the concept and the setting. And I wasn’t expecting or looking for a book that was ‘realistic’ because heist-type situations usually require some imagination. But something about the book just didn’t really deliver.

It may have just been that since I’m so used to seeing this type of story, to read it was a different and harder to picture story. It was also less exciting if you’re not invested in the characters’ success or failure.

I also wasn’t thrilled with the way the lady of the house— Miss De Vries— was portrayed or the other character’s ‘tryst’ with her. It seemed like an unnecessary inclusion that didn’t add to the story in a meaningful way. It could have ended up being some sort of twist, but wasn’t even really that. De Vries’s character felt too one-dimensional and inconsequential for what events were going on around her.


If this became a movie, I’d definitely watch it.

I also think I would read another of Alex Hay’s books— this one is his debut. I think he has a creative mind for writing and I enjoy Victorian England settings in books.

I wouldn’t say this is a must-read, unputdownable book, but overall I still enjoyed it even if it wasn’t quite what I was hoping for. For sure if you like heists, I would give it a try.

[Content Advisory: Not much, if any swearing; one romantic scene between two women, but it’s short and non-descriptive]

“Given my lifelong history of same-sex attraction, you might think my conclusion— that the Bible leaves no room for followers of Jesus to pursue same-sex sexual relationships— makes this short book a tragedy. You might even think this book is an attempt to foster hatefulness toward those who identify as gay, lesbian, bisexual, or queer. But it is not. Instead of urging anybody toward hatred (of themselves or others), I hope instead to point us all to Jesus’ love… I want to sketch a vision from the Bible of deep, joyful, Christ-exalting love between believers of the same sex: not a love that mimics marriage but a no less precious, different kind of love… [My prayer is that] you’ll ultimately find that Jesus is the path to life and love beyond your wildest dreams.”


I start with such a long quote because I think for this book it is essential for readers to know where the author, Rebecca McLaughlin, stands— both in the facts of her position, AND in the heart of her position.

I think a lot of people won’t even try to read this book because they’ve heard it all before or because any sort of dissent to their belief is perceived as hate. I think a lot of people will read this book to get confirmation of their own beliefs.

And I’m not sure if there are many people who are undecided on whether or not to read this book.

But particularly those who would lean towards rejecting this book, or Christians who are feeling more and more drawn to changing their position on same-sex sexual relationships, I would encourage you that this book is for you.

It’s short, barely 100 pages, and could easily be read in a day.

It’s not the most exhaustive book on the topic— see original post for list of other recommended books— but it hits on 10 popular arguments that people, Christian and otherwise, give claiming that the Bible affirms same-sex sexual relationships.

The author is writing to us because she has been there and she currently is there. A place where she experiences same-sex attraction. She tried so hard to read the Bible in a way that affirms her heart’s longing.

She also shares the stories of some of her friends who had their own journeys of struggle and of coming to the Bible to shape it to their needs. But they all came to the conclusion that the Bible is clear in what it teaches.



In a lot of ways that is hard news. No one wants to be told they can’t have what they want.

But in a lot of ways, it is good news. And that’s what I love most about this book (and McLaughlin’s others) is because it’s not a book of ‘no.’ It’s an invitation to the ‘yes’ that the Bible DOES offer.

Sexual relationship is not the pinnacle of human existence, worth, or satisfaction. Our culture rarely deviates from a position of sexual fulfillment and sexual freedom ethic as if that’s our ultimate goal and happiness in life. Even a lot of churches put marriage on a pedestal.

McLaughlin reminds us that Paul and Jesus never had sexual relationships and yet I think we can all agree their lives were pretty fulfilling. She reminds us that in Scripture “married love, parental love, and friendship love are all held up as precious. But only the last kind of love is mandatory.”

Marriage may be a picture of Jesus’s love for the church, but friendships still offer us a picture of Christ’s sacrificial love- “Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.” (Jn 15:12-13)


The strength of this book is being able to articulate clearly in a short number of pages the biblical argument for sex and marriage to be between a man and woman, but also to elevate other kinds of relationships to their rightful place. It assures those with same-sex attraction that they still belong in the church and they still have a place in sharing in and portraying to others the love of Christ.

The claims that she addresses are as follows:

1. Christians should just focus on the gospel of God’s love [meaning it’s a second-tier issue]

2. Jesus was silent on same-sex relationships

3. God’s judgement on Sodom isn’t a judgment on same-sex relationships [Genesis 18]

4. It’s inconsistent to follow the Old Testament on same-sex sex but Not on shellfish [Leviticus; I hear this one all the time]

5. Paul condemns exploitative same-sex relationships, not consensual ones [Romans 1]

6. Paul was condemning Excessive lust, not same-sex sexual orientation

7. The word ‘homosexual’ wasn’t used in Bibles until 1946— it’s a misinterpretation [1 Corinthians 6]

8. The trajectory of the Bible is toward rejecting slavery and affirming same-sex marriage [1 Timothy 1]

9. Unchosen celibacy yields bad fruit

10. A God of love can’t be against relationships of love


“I’ve attempted to articulate each argument carefully, explore why it might seem persuasive, and explain where I think it falls short.”



I won’t write more because at that point, you could have already finished the book instead of my review, but I will say again that this is a worthy read that is concise, straightforward, and honest.

It probably won’t be an easy read for a lot of people, but all good things aren’t always easy.

The call for ALL believers is to treasure Christ and count the cost of following him. We must ALL deny our sinful desires and take up our cross to follow him.

“Following Jesus means being willing to give up everything— even our most treasured hopes, dreams, and relationships... Jesus is the treasure. When we find him, we find our life. And as we give ourselves to Jesus, we will find that we have gained each other too.”

“The Christian call is not to loneliness but to love.”


**Received a copy of this book from The Good Book Company in exchange for an honest review.**

“We want to show Christians that the Bible offers better answers to questions about race, class, gender, sexuality, justice, oppression, and a host of other hot-button issues.”

“The attraction of critical theories for Christians lies in the fact that they grasp an aspect of the truth. The problem lies in the fact that they press this to the point where other truths are marginalized, subverted, or even rejected.”


Critical Dilemma is a fantastic book and resource for all people to better understand what critical theory is and how it has subtly (and not so subtly) pervaded our culture and our own beliefs in ways we may not recognize.

It takes similar paths to the book Cynical Theories, but Shenvi and Sawyer approach from a biblical perspective and explain how entertaining critical-theory-based beliefs can hurt the church and ultimately put one at odds with the teachings of the Bible.

Although it’s written to compare critical theory beliefs with Christian beliefs, this book is not necessarily just for Christians. The authors propose that all readers would benefit from seeing this comparison to better understand what a lot of people believe, to help them identify some of their own discomfort with ‘woke’-ness, and because, whether we realize it or not, a great deal of people in the West have “inherited a distinctly Judeo-Christian way of thinking about identity, value, compassion and justice.”

Shenvi and Sawyer have written this book very carefully, intending (and succeeding) in presenting critical contemporary theory (CCT) fairly and accurately to how they present themselves, quoting at length from the most prominent primary sources and offering disclaimers and caveats where needed. They wrote specifically to be long in scholarship and short on criticism, avoiding oversimplification. You won’t find straw man arguments here, though I’m sure there will be reviewers who still claim this as it is popular to do so.

It is not a politically driven book and they don’t broach the threshold of politics in general. Their concern is a theological one. While many may protest that CCT is simply an analytical tool and no one even knows what critical theory is, let alone purposely tout its principles, in reality, it often functions like a worldview which implies a lot of serious theological issues.

“CCT is rightly viewed as a worldview or metanarrative. It is not a narrow analytic tool. It makes sweeping assumptions about human beings, purpose, lived experience, meaning, morality, knowledge, and identity that inevitably bring it into conflict with Christianity.”


This book is also not a trophy for the anti-woke camp of people that may come to read this thinking they’ll feel triumphant in their woke-bashing tirades. To be clear: Shenvi and Sawyer do not even condone a ‘eat the meat, spit out the bones’ approach to CCT, but the heart of this book is the truth.

And the truth is that CCT is attractive to so many people, including Christians, because it touches on true things. We lose our credibility when we take such staunch stances that we are hesitant to give any ground in places that we should. If you’re confused about what ground that is, you won’t be after reading this book.

No reader should read this book and come away feeling completely justified or free of conviction. These issues are too important to take lightly or with a hard heart.



There is so much information in this book that I cannot do it justice in a book review. I’ll touch on a few things, but to truly grasp the logical string of arguments and the intended path the authors have written to take you on, you must read the book yourself.

The term critical theory along with a whole host of other terms in this category can come with a lot of baggage. The authors take care to be clear in what they are and are not referring to when using certain terminology.

Thus, they have chosen the term ‘critical contemporary theory’ as opposed to just ‘critical theory’ in their book. They identify four main ideas that are housed within this term:

- the social binary

“society is divided into oppressed groups and oppressor groups along lines of race, class, gender, sexuality, physical ability, age, and a growing list of other identity markers”

 “If these claims are to be believed, then the only non-oppressed people in the United States are middle-aged rich, White, heterosexual, cis-gendered, male, able-bodied, non immigrant Christians. Everyone else, upwards of 95% of the US population, is oppressed in some way.”

(Important here is the discussion on intersectionality and how various markers play into someone’s identity and status as oppressed or oppressor)

- hegemonic power

“‘The dominant group maintains power by imposing their ideology on everyone… ideology refers to the stories, myths, explanations, definitions, and rationalizations that are used to justify inequality between the dominant and the minoritized groups… the minoritized group accepts their lower position in society because they come to accept the rationalizations for it…’” (Robin DeAngelo)

(Also referenced in this section is the myth of meritocracy, and how hegemony plays into heternormativity and ableism)

- lived experience

“Lived experience gives oppressed people special access to truths about their oppression. Therefore, they have the innate authority to speak to these truths, and people from oppressor groups should defer to their knowledge.”

 “ [CCT believes] Knowledge is socially constructed; it is generated by particular groups working in particular cultures and therefore reflects the particular conditions of the society that produced it.”

(Also referenced in this section are standpoint theory, false consciousness, and microaggressions)

- social justice

“Social justice is principally concerned with the emancipation of marginalized groups out of structural domination, out of oppressive societal systems and institutions… Social justice advocates are concerned about power: who has it, who doesn’t, and why. They use this knowledge to effect social change.”

(They are careful to communicate the different ways this term is used/meant; also referenced in this section is equality vs equity, discrimination vs disparities)


The book is divided into three parts: Understanding, Critiquing, and Engaging.

The chapters within ‘Understanding’ give a run-down of history in terms of slavery and racism, as well as talking about the scholars who have shaped CCT over the years. Then they look at both Critical Race Theory and Queer Theory and what their tenets, central ideas, definitions, and goals are. They wrap-up by identifying the positive things or the ‘truths’ that hide within these concepts.

The chapters within ‘Critiquing’ spend some time looking at Christian Protestant Theology so we know what beliefs we are comparing to. There is a brief disclaimer on what is meant by ‘evangelical’ because these days that term can mean a lot of very different things (don’t even get Kristen Kobes Du Mez started on this…). Then they look at the problems with CCT as a whole, and then with Critical Race Theory and Queer Theory individually. They also tackle the concept of ‘ancestral guilt’ and whether white people as a whole can be (socially or otherwise) ‘charged’ with the sins of our ancestors in terms of racial discrimination and slavery.

The chapters within ‘Engaging’ take everything talked about thus far and then explain how it affects the church body and the unity of God’s people. They include a list of ideas that “will devastate your church.” [i.e. the idea ‘straight white men need to listen’ hurts the church because lived experience becomes the arbiter of truth rather than the gospel and hinders the church’s ability to shepherd their church and offer theological discernment.] Then, unlike a lot of books, they present the reader with a path forward. Action steps to take to have better dialogue, deeper contemplation, and actually do something helpful as an individual and as a church.



An important point the authors make, which is central to any discussion really, is about how we identify what is true.

“Every truth claim must be evaluated on the basis of whether it corresponds to reality and not on the basis of the identity of the person making the claim.”

That goes for people on all sides of these worldviews. We don’t just outright reject any claim made by a ‘woke’ person just because of who they are. That is not how open and honest dialogue happens.

“Christians cannot be so opposed to contemporary critical theory that they deny true claims simply because they sound woke. Not only will that tendency make us liable to the criticism that we value our tribe more than the truth, it will warp our perception of reality.”

So they identify several ‘affirmations’ of critical social theory, things they ‘get right.’ I won’t list all of them but some of them include: “Race is a social construct”; “Colorblindness is not the best approach to racism”; “Some aspects of gender expression or gender roles are socially constructed”; “Hegemonic power exists”; and “Unjust systems can exist.”

“We should be self-critical, open to correction, and willing to grant the valid points that critical social theorists make. We can do all this while being absolutely clear about contemporary critical theory’s many errors and its fundamental incompatibility with Christianity.”



There are many ways in which CCT diverges from Christianity.

Christians operate from a lot of moral or basic norms, but we receive these boundaries or norms by God who is our authority for morality and truth. The idea of lived experience promoting one voice over another in terms of what is true usurps the Bible’s role as final authority in our lives.

Christians identify humanity’s primary problem and that problem’s solution very differently than CCT.

In short, CCT says the main problem in the world is oppression. The solution to that problem is liberating marginalized people from that oppression.

As Christians, we know that the main problem in the world is sin. This sin and rebellion to God actually unifies humanity. We also know that the only solution for this problem is a Savior. Jesus died to pay the cost of our sin, freeing us from the bondage of our sin and making a way for people from all tribes and tongues to spend eternity unified with a holy God in heaven.

Sin manifests itself in oppression and injustice. But if we misidentify the problem, we misidentify solutions, and then we aren’t really helping anyone.



I like how Shenvi and Sawyer point out the logical inconsistency of picking and choosing parts of critical theory to promote. But they demand that all of these pieces (CCT, CRT, Queer Theory) are interlocking pieces to the puzzle. They require dependence on each other.

This is why ‘eat the meat, spit out the bones’ is not a valid method of interacting with critical theory. I was a little taken aback at this claim by the authors because this method made sense to me as Mama Bear Apologetics used it. But as they laid out their arguments here, I understand their adamancy for Christians to reject CCT.

They change the analogy from eating the meat and spitting out the bones to saying the meat we’re starting with is poisoned and one can’t simply spit out the poison.

“Telling an unprepared Christian to eat the meat and spit out the bones of CRT is like handing your kids a bowl of Skittles mixed with colorful cyanide pills. While it is possible to separate the poison from the candy, no responsible parent would take that chance.”



More and more I feel like so many Christians are ill-equipped to navigate the cultural minefield of morality and social and sexual ethics. Because the best lies have an element of truth. But a half-truth is still a lie. Even if there are elements of truth to the CCT worldview, we are not wrong to reject it. Those truths will not get lost. Those truths still reside under the umbrella of Christianity (God’s Truth) where we must plant our feet.

This book is an essential resource to help people understand that which is hiding in plain sight, that which masquerades as ‘no big deal’ or ‘no one really thinks that’ but in reality is everywhere.

“The average person in your church is not being influenced by the law reviews of Kimberle Crenshaw or the postructuralist theorizing of Michel Foucault. Instead, they’re being influenced by the tweets of their favorite lifestyle blogger or last night’s monologue from The Daily Show. The ideas of contemporary critical theory are absorbed via platitudes and slogans that gain the status of conventional wisdom through repetition, not through careful analysis.”

They spend time going through 8 of these ‘slogans’ that have become popular and normalized. This section may be helpful for some readers to identify areas they have begun to compromise God’s Word and Truth.



There are many takeaways from this book, but one of the main ones is to consider the beliefs of CCT and how they would play out in the church. Think about whether they would unify or divide.

“CRT can lead Blacks to be suspicious of Whites as a matter of rule, believing that every White person has an asterisk beside them signaling they cannot be fully trusted. It can lead Whites to be suspicious that Blacks are always thinking negatively about them. It can lead Blacks to feel hyper-visible in every situation, believing that they are constantly being judged. It can lead Whites to think they always have to approach Blacks with kid gloves lest anyone get offended.”

The authors hit on a lot of the feelings and struggles that I’ve had surrounding these topics. As a follower of Christ, I know my charge is to love all people because we are all created in God’s image. And it’s hard to walk that path when the definition of ‘love’ or what is ‘loving’ differs so drastically from one person to the next.

It’s hard when we’re being bombarded with accusations, admonitions, protests, boycotts, labels, assumptions, and the like. When we speak, we are wrong; when we are silent, we are wrong; when we lament about those two things, we’re not understanding. It’s complex and unstable.

I want to be sensitive to the unique hardships others have endured that I have never and might never experience. But the way these issues are handled these days really forces people’s hands to choose between two things they don’t actually have to.

We can uphold God’s Word AND love others.

“The notion that someone can disagree with another’s ideas and/or behavior and at the same time genuinely care about their person and flourishing is real.”

“Biblical love is always rooted in reality.”

“It is doubtlessly true that some Christians are, in fact, bigoted in the traditional sense, meaning that they have a deep-seated, immovable sinful antagonism toward some specific group of people. However, it’s also true that we can uphold a traditional biblical sexual ethic not out of hatred or fear, but because we recognize that God’s design for everything, including gender and sexuality, is good. Any rejection of this design will dishonor our Creator and will ultimately hurt human beings.”

It is essential for the church to not play into culture’s false dichotomy of God’s Word vs loving people. Reflection and examination and repentance are also essential, but when we discern the truth, we need to hold fast to it, not with our backs turned away from those who disagree, but facing them with the invitation to join us because we genuinely care for them.


Recommendation

I’ve read a lot of books on these topics, some Christian, some secular, and this is one of the longer ones, but it is one of the best ones. The writing voice is clear, logical, compassionate, and focused. The authors don’t make sweeping statements that are hard to defend. They carefully address specific claims in an intellectually honest way.

[Many of the books they reference in their book are ones that I’ve read. I’ve included a list with links as well as bunch more quotes from the book in my original review post]

These topics are complex and often delicate because behind the ideologies are real people with real hurts. The authors take care to take on ideas, not destroy people. But because culture has tried to attach these ideas to people as identities and core facets of themselves, it is undoubtedly going to still cause some emotions for a lot of readers because they can’t help but feel personally attacked.

I hope that readers can hear the compassion in the voices of the authors and know that their heart is for truth and for people. Because those are the only two things on this earth that will last forever. It is not a destructive book to tear everything down. It is a book to offer honest critique to public ideas and help people understand a complex and manipulative worldview that influences a lot of people and by default, society at large.

You may want to just ignore all of this ‘critical theory stuff’ or you may just be angry that someone would even think to write this book. But I urge you to read it and consider what Shenvi and Sawyer have to say.

I’ll leave you with these two quotes that capture their heart for kindness and truth and the urgency for the gospel message.

“Too many of us in the anti-woke camps are attempting to perform open-heart surgery with a hand grenade rather than a scalpel. If we sweep harmless or even valid ideas into the trash bin, it will damage our credibility. And it should go without saying that if we throw around the ‘heretic’ label carelessly, we will not only be taken less seriously, but we will be guilty of a grievous sin.”

“The solution is not to divide the body of Christ into the Woke and the Anti-woke! The solution is to call everyone back to Scripture— to tell a better story, the old, old story of Christ’s love for sinners and his redemption of people from every tribe, and nation, and tongue… if we lose the gospel, we lose everything.”


*Received a copy of this book from Harvest House Publishing in exchange for an honest review*

“It seems to me that being a performer is the only job where you are both the car and the billboard advertising it.”


I am a big Lauren Graham fan. I loved Gilmore Girls and Parenthood.

I’ve also read her book, Talking As Fast As I Can, and enjoyed that as well.

That being said, I’m not sure if this book did a whole lot for me. I think if I had done the audio book that probably would have enhanced the experience a bit because a lot of Graham’s humor is in her delivery.

It was definitely a hodgepodge of stories. I’m not sure I could identify a unifying thread throughout the book except maybe lamenting the struggles of staying relevant and meeting the spoken and unspoken standards of Hollywood.

Reading memoirs/essays from celebrities is always an interesting phenomenon. As an everyday reader we read for conflicting purposes. We read to both see the commonalities we have with celebrities— they’re just like us!— and also to get the scoop on what it’s like to be famous and be in the circles of the wealthy and well-known— we’ll never see it firsthand!


There really wasn’t much ‘gossip’ in this book. Lauren seems to abide pretty loyally to the actor code of not spilling other people’s secrets or exposing their bad sides or personal preferences. There also isn’t any behind-the-scenes look into her specific shows other than a list of things every aspiring actor should know (in her chapter Actor-y Factory) and a chapter (Red Hat, Blue Hat) where she lists a bunch of things a director should know.

It seems like throughout this book she is wrestling with the concepts of what’s really important in life, but also with doing what you have to do to land jobs as an actor.



I think one such pondering that resonated most with me was when she contemplated what lies she was willing to tell. I was surprisingly surprised to find out that a lot of the stories celebrities tell on late night talk shows are fabricated. When Lauren was going on one and had a specific story to tell she was told to change one of the details of the story because they thought it would land the joke/story better.

She pondered, “Is the most important thing to tell the truth, or to tell the truth that will make the audience happy, or to tell another truth entirely, and does it matter if you— the audience— know which truth I’m telling?”

Personally, I’m a fan of the truth. But at the same time I recognize the nature of show business and needing to create something that is enjoyed by the audience. We’ve all watched something we didn’t like. Whether we realize it or not, we’re part of an audience that is creating a market for a specific kind of entertainment and we apparently have high standards.

Would I rather have the true stories that aren’t as funny because they actually happened?

I can imagine it is difficult to maintain a moral code while also trying to ‘make it’ in Hollywood where everything is so specifically curated and no one really has a right to anything unless they are an A-lister.

I appreciate that Lauren Graham seems to care about the truth and desires to be authentic.



I think the chapter that resonated with me the least was the Mochi chapter. Because it’s stressful for me to listen to people spontaneously getting dogs and assuming it’s an easy ‘add’ to their life when in reality it makes no sense for them to have a dog and now they have this thing that ties them to a place alllll the time, messes with their schedule, costs them money, ruins their house, etc. It’s great to have pets— I loved them when I was a kid— but now as an adult, I’m far more realistic on what it takes to have a pet and I hate when people dive in without actual consideration for what it means to have a pet.



I guess it’s a bit strange but I think the parts that stood out the most to me were the ‘serious’ parts more than the funny parts. This group of essays is about telling a few stories but then connecting it to something deeper and more meaningful. I do like this way of writing even though I opened the book for the laughs.



Recommendation:

This is a super fast read, so if you like Lauren Graham, I would say to give it a shot. Even if it’s not a favorite book, it’s not a big commitment to possibly glean some snippet that resonates with you in a different way than it did for me.

Also- probably would recommend the audio book version if you can. (To be honest- I’ve never actually done an audio book but if I were to ever try it, I think it would be for memoirs/nonfiction first.)

Even if this wasn’t my favorite book of hers, I still enjoy her as an actress and will probably continue to watch her shows/movies and read her books.

It was not a hard book to have squozen into my day.


[Content Advisory: there is a chapter about boobs; I can’t really remember if there was any swearing or other sexual content or drug references, if there were it was pretty minimal]