“Given my lifelong history of same-sex attraction, you might think my conclusion— that the Bible leaves no room for followers of Jesus to pursue same-sex sexual relationships— makes this short book a tragedy. You might even think this book is an attempt to foster hatefulness toward those who identify as gay, lesbian, bisexual, or queer. But it is not. Instead of urging anybody toward hatred (of themselves or others), I hope instead to point us all to Jesus’ love… I want to sketch a vision from the Bible of deep, joyful, Christ-exalting love between believers of the same sex: not a love that mimics marriage but a no less precious, different kind of love… [My prayer is that] you’ll ultimately find that Jesus is the path to life and love beyond your wildest dreams.”


I start with such a long quote because I think for this book it is essential for readers to know where the author, Rebecca McLaughlin, stands— both in the facts of her position, AND in the heart of her position.

I think a lot of people won’t even try to read this book because they’ve heard it all before or because any sort of dissent to their belief is perceived as hate. I think a lot of people will read this book to get confirmation of their own beliefs.

And I’m not sure if there are many people who are undecided on whether or not to read this book.

But particularly those who would lean towards rejecting this book, or Christians who are feeling more and more drawn to changing their position on same-sex sexual relationships, I would encourage you that this book is for you.

It’s short, barely 100 pages, and could easily be read in a day.

It’s not the most exhaustive book on the topic— see original post for list of other recommended books— but it hits on 10 popular arguments that people, Christian and otherwise, give claiming that the Bible affirms same-sex sexual relationships.

The author is writing to us because she has been there and she currently is there. A place where she experiences same-sex attraction. She tried so hard to read the Bible in a way that affirms her heart’s longing.

She also shares the stories of some of her friends who had their own journeys of struggle and of coming to the Bible to shape it to their needs. But they all came to the conclusion that the Bible is clear in what it teaches.



In a lot of ways that is hard news. No one wants to be told they can’t have what they want.

But in a lot of ways, it is good news. And that’s what I love most about this book (and McLaughlin’s others) is because it’s not a book of ‘no.’ It’s an invitation to the ‘yes’ that the Bible DOES offer.

Sexual relationship is not the pinnacle of human existence, worth, or satisfaction. Our culture rarely deviates from a position of sexual fulfillment and sexual freedom ethic as if that’s our ultimate goal and happiness in life. Even a lot of churches put marriage on a pedestal.

McLaughlin reminds us that Paul and Jesus never had sexual relationships and yet I think we can all agree their lives were pretty fulfilling. She reminds us that in Scripture “married love, parental love, and friendship love are all held up as precious. But only the last kind of love is mandatory.”

Marriage may be a picture of Jesus’s love for the church, but friendships still offer us a picture of Christ’s sacrificial love- “Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.” (Jn 15:12-13)


The strength of this book is being able to articulate clearly in a short number of pages the biblical argument for sex and marriage to be between a man and woman, but also to elevate other kinds of relationships to their rightful place. It assures those with same-sex attraction that they still belong in the church and they still have a place in sharing in and portraying to others the love of Christ.

The claims that she addresses are as follows:

1. Christians should just focus on the gospel of God’s love [meaning it’s a second-tier issue]

2. Jesus was silent on same-sex relationships

3. God’s judgement on Sodom isn’t a judgment on same-sex relationships [Genesis 18]

4. It’s inconsistent to follow the Old Testament on same-sex sex but Not on shellfish [Leviticus; I hear this one all the time]

5. Paul condemns exploitative same-sex relationships, not consensual ones [Romans 1]

6. Paul was condemning Excessive lust, not same-sex sexual orientation

7. The word ‘homosexual’ wasn’t used in Bibles until 1946— it’s a misinterpretation [1 Corinthians 6]

8. The trajectory of the Bible is toward rejecting slavery and affirming same-sex marriage [1 Timothy 1]

9. Unchosen celibacy yields bad fruit

10. A God of love can’t be against relationships of love


“I’ve attempted to articulate each argument carefully, explore why it might seem persuasive, and explain where I think it falls short.”



I won’t write more because at that point, you could have already finished the book instead of my review, but I will say again that this is a worthy read that is concise, straightforward, and honest.

It probably won’t be an easy read for a lot of people, but all good things aren’t always easy.

The call for ALL believers is to treasure Christ and count the cost of following him. We must ALL deny our sinful desires and take up our cross to follow him.

“Following Jesus means being willing to give up everything— even our most treasured hopes, dreams, and relationships... Jesus is the treasure. When we find him, we find our life. And as we give ourselves to Jesus, we will find that we have gained each other too.”

“The Christian call is not to loneliness but to love.”


**Received a copy of this book from The Good Book Company in exchange for an honest review.**