shelfreflectionofficial's reviews
800 reviews

“If you are looking for answers you can’t find, you need to change the question.”


I really liked Laura Dave’s first book, The Last Thing He Told Me! This book didn’t quite measure up to that one, though I think I liked this book’s ending better than The Last Thing He Told Me.

This one was marketed as an ‘epic love story wrapped in a mystery.’ The question posed in this book is similar to Dave’s first book: ‘how well can you know the people you love?’ Her first book was about a husband/wife situation. The Night We Lost Him revolves around the relationship between a father and his children.

The word ‘epic’ can mean spectacular or it can refer to a long narrative centered around a ‘hero.’ This love story would more properly be categorized along the latter definition, though ‘hero’ would be quite a stretch.


The Basic Premise

Our main character is Nora, because obviously… and she is still processing the grief of losing her mother recently when her father dies as well. He fell from the edge of his cliff-side property. At least that’s the story.

When Nora’s half-brother, Sam, shows up out of the blue with theories about foul play, Nora becomes convinced that something doesn’t add up. Her father knew that property inside and out, he would never have accidentally fallen. He must have been pushed.

“Our father was going to sell his company to someone else, after a lifetime of not even considering selling it. Then, for reasons unknown, he walked it all the way back and decided to leave the company to his sons. And, eight days after that, he made two phone calls to an old lover and then fell off a cliff that he knew like the back of his hand.”

The more Nora and Sam dig into the life of their father, the more they realize they didn’t know about him.

At the core of this story is the variety of families/lives their father lived. He had married and divorced three women and had children with two of them.

“He certainly kept the compartments separate when he was alive. He certainly fought to keep all sorts of things private. What if there was a reason for that? Beyond what we know?”

“Maybe he thought that if we all left our respective corners, we would have started talking. And it would have revealed something he wasn’t ready to look at— or something that he didn’t want his children to look at. The version of himself he needed to keep private.”

In addition to the mystery surrounding their father’s death, Nora’s grief has started to drive a wedge between her and her fiance, Jack. A previous boyfriend, Elliot, who knew her dad well re-enters the picture and we are left to wonder if her and Jack can weather this or if Elliot is her new refuge.

“‘I really don’t want you to go.’”— “‘That’s not the same thing as wanting me to stay.’”


Comments

This book goes back and forth between Nora’s POV and events from decades past between her father (Liam) and a woman named Cory. This relationship between him and Cory is the ‘epic’ romance.

In college Liam is immediately infatuated with Cory but Cory keeps him at a distance because she doesn’t not consider him ready to be in the kind of committed (?) marriage she wants. So instead they are basically friends with benefits. Because that’s definitely the safer route. Over the years the relationship shifts, but Cory ends up married to another man.

Liam never stops asking Cory to be with him.

Nora and Sam discover that there may have been another woman for their father this entire time, even while he was married to each of their mothers.

This whole romance thing is just not my style. It reminds me a little bit of The Last Letter from Your Lover. We’re supposed to root for this romance? When Liam has made very real decisions to have these various families and then leave them.

Oh sure, he’s still part of their lives:

“We had our Friday nights together— and if I had a school play, or an art show, he rarely missed it. But he spent much of the rest of the time in the other families and worlds he occupied. Worlds he also needed to tend to, worlds that I knew almost nothing about.”

This book made it seem like we were supposed to be sympathetic to Liam. He was a man in love, after all, and he would do ANYTHING for his kids. Except, apparently, stick around and be their dad and a husband to their mother. I really don’t care about that kind of romance. To me, Liam was a cowardly man who chased his every desire, living selfishly in a fantasy he could never let go of at the expense of his wives and children.

You would think discovering all of this would anger Nora and Sam. And it did a little, but by the end it was like they were drawn into this ‘love story’ and just cared about their father’s happiness. Bleh. If everyone just did whatever ‘made them happy’ our world would be even more messed up than it already is.

“He would do anything that was needed to get himself there: to a completely different life.”

I could handle a long-forgotten-unrealized-love-from-the-past kind of trope, but Liam and Cory’s was very much not long-forgotten and very much realized… just dysfunctionally.

They say that love trumps loyalty, “But what a thing, what a rare and precious thing if you have both.”

What is love without loyalty?

Loyalty is defined by words like trust, devotion, true, fidelity, honesty, reliability. You’re telling me love trumps those things? There is something in love that does NOT include those things?

Pretty sure that’s not love. That’s lust. And should be frowned upon in most societies.

We’re supposed to view fidelity, honesty, devotion, and truth as ‘rare’ and ‘precious’?

When love functions with loyalty as it SHOULD… think of all the families that stay together. Think of all the daughters and sons who have a mother and father to offer them stability, reliability, and unconditional love. When forbidden love stops being the goal, the destruction is abated. What a thing.

You know, maybe it is rare. But it shouldn’t be.


What kept this book from being worse is part of the ending. This is going to be a little spoiler (not related to the mystery) so scroll down to the next section if you don’t want to know.


[

When we discover that Elliot has been back in Nora’s life I was like— Shoot. I thought we were actually going to have a book with a strong relationship that weathers hard things, but it seemed like Laura was gearing us up for Nora realizing Jack was a really good fiance and everything she needed, but she was going to choose what she ‘wanted’ instead. A man from her past who made her feel close to her father, who made her feel a certain way.

If she had ended up with Elliot this book would be just a complete, do not read. THANKFULLY, Laura had Nora realize what she’s had this whole time that she was pushing away in her own grief. Turns out two people can actually be committed to each other and one of them can actually resist temptation.

That was a saving grace to this book. It paints a stark contrast between Nora and Liam which was definitely needed in this book.

Another thing that felt like a missed plot point was the fact that as Nora and Sam were digging around, they were realizing that it was suspicious for the police not to even consider that someone pushed Liam off the cliff. They were wrapping it up as if they were hiding something or being pressured to cover this up.

In the end we discover that couldn’t have been the case. So then why were the police acting that way? It’s a red herring that then doesn’t make any sense. (hide spoiler)]




Recommendation

This isn’t a must-read for me. If it weren’t for one saving grace, it would be a must-not read. But because of the one thing and that it wasn’t too bad reading it, I would say this fits more in the ‘maybe’ category of recommendations.

Some will probably like it, some probably won’t.

This is a ‘read at your own risk’ kind of book. And if you do read it, please don’t fall for the lie that loyalty and love are mutually exclusive things.


[Content Advisory: 18 f-words, 7 s-words, infidelity referenced but not shown]

**Received an ARC via NetGalley**

Jen Wilkin’s studies are always so good! She does a great job of walking you through the text and parsing out the meaning as intended for the first audience and then how it applies to us as readers far removed.

This study is a 10-week video-based Bible Study on the book of Hebrews. Depending where you buy the book, you should have access to the videos at time of purchase. Otherwise, they should be able to be found on LifeWay’s website.

You could do the study without using the videos, but I think you’ll miss a lot without that extra teaching part.

Each week includes 5 days of homework. You will cover 1-2 chapters of Hebrews. Part of the first day of each week includes annotating the text (which is included in the back of the workbook) by underlining and marking repeated words. I like this aspect of it because it starts to train your brain to notice repetition and common themes. This is a major way that we can learn to read and understand the Bible on our own.

One of the common words throughout Hebrews is ‘therefore.’ Jen makes sure we look at what ideas are being connected from chapter to chapter. When we read isolated parts of Scripture we don’t always catch the context of verses and what ideas that it is addressing. Studying an entire book of the Bible in-depth is an important part of understanding the author’s intent and purpose in writing.

This devotional is titled ‘Better’ because that is a common theme of Hebrews. We don’t know who the author is for sure, but we know that he knows his Bible. He connects Old Testament passages regarding the old covenant and sacrificial system and how Jesus has come to make a better covenant, be a better priest. He is better than the angels, Abraham, and Moses. He is a better sacrifice and a better tabernacle.


I think my favorite chapter was the one on the ‘hall of faith’ where the author chronicles Old Testament figures of those who were faithful to follow and trust in the Lord about things they couldn’t see. Hebrews is a book that calls us to live a faithful life like those who have gone before us, bearing witness to the truth of Jesus, his life, and his word.

The hall of faith includes many people that lived far from perfect lives. It’s a comfort to us that we don’t have to be perfect to be faithful. It is possible to please God and that is done through faith. Abraham didn’t see his future descendants. Noah built an ark without seeing the rain. Moses led the Israelites out of Egypt and into the wilderness without seeing the Promised Land. They all trusted in God’s promises, knowing that he would always be faithful, even when they were faithless.


Recommendation

I always recommend Jen Wilkin’s books and studies. (I’ll hopefully be doing her Revelation one at some point.) They are solid biblical teaching that is easy to understand. Plus she encourages us to learn how to read Scripture for ourselves and to be diligent about prayer and Scripture memory. 

My one regret with doing this study was that it took me longer than ten weeks. There were times that were hard to be consistent over the summer. With too long of breaks between each session at times it made it hard to remember everything we were learning and trying to connect. I would recommend doing your best to stick with the time allotted and intended for the study to have the ideal opportunity to learn the most effectively. 

I did this study on my own but I think it’s meant to be shared with a group of people. I was still able to enjoy the learning and teaching portions, but I missed out on the discussion and hearing how God was teaching others through the study. Doing Bible studies with others is an important part of our faith journey. 

Jen quoted someone who said that ‘Christianity is a community endeavor.’ And that is spot on. We weren’t meant to do life on our own and that includes studying the Word. Individual study is definitely still important, but as Hebrews says, ‘Don’t neglect to meet with one another as some do but encourage each other.’ One way we do that is letting God’s Word correct and reprove us and sharing that with one another so we can build each other up to good works. 

I am glad to have done this study, but I’m also glad that my next Bible study (When You Pray) will be done with some other women from my church and I’m looking forward to that time of learning, growing, and praying together.

“For seven hundred years, my people have been enslaved without voice, without hope. Now I am their sword. And I do not forgive. I do not forget. So let him lead me onto his shuttle. Let him think he owns me. Let him welcome me into his house, so I might burn it down.”

“Home isn’t where you’re from, it’s where you find light when all grows dark. Find your home, Darrow, and you’ll never be lost again.”


The first book, Red Rising, ripped my heart out within the first 40 pages, Golden Son waited until the last two to do it.

[I’ll write this review with the assumption you’ve read the first one, so if you haven’t, at least read that review first or this may confuse you.]


This was a great second book in the series— I may have even liked it better than Red Rising because though there is violence, it feels slightly less depraved. I also liked the character development we see in Darrow as he struggles with the questions ‘Can people change? Can someone bad become good?’

His mission is greater than himself— to free a whole Society— and so he is constantly checking himself and evaluating if the means justify the end. His own revenge may need to take a backseat to what is best for all. And that just may mean forgiveness.

The writing and plot of this book is pretty intense. Lots of battles and war, friendship and betrayal, hard choices and bravery. I liked how Brown gave the readers some suspense when it came to Darrow’s plans and tactics. We get hints that he might be up to something or has contingencies in place, but we still get surprises where we realize- ‘Oh that’s why he said that or did that.’

I felt like I was holding my breath the whole way through the book with all the ups and downs and when I got to the end I felt relief. Though we had some sad deaths along the way, Darrow had made it through the next phase of the mission. One step closer to revolution. And then Brown thought we all needed a good shock. I admit I knew it was coming but I didn’t know the extent to which Brown would take that shock. And now I must read the third book!



Golden Son continues two years where Red Rising left off. Darrow is in the last ‘test’ of the Academy where a surprise loss to the Bellona family puts his future in jeopardy.

Augustus is ready to auction Darrow off to the highest bidder which would likely be some sort of deal with Bellona-friendlies who would love to kill him.

Having not been contacted by the Sons of Ares in all this time and having been separated from Mustang, Darrow is feeling the ache of isolation and loneliness.

“Mustang chose politics, governance— peace, which is what she thinks her people need. I chose the blade, because it is what my people need.”

Darrow uses the summit of the elites in the house of the Sovereign to change the paradigm. His actions begin a war between the Sovereign and the ArchGovernor of Mars, the House of Augustus.

Darrow and Jackal broker an unlikely alliance of sorts. Though their end goal differs.

Darrow faces a complex tactical challenge to accomplish the plan of the Sons of Ares and navigate the volatile world of politics and the ruthless Golds who want nothing more than power. The complexity only deepens when he must decide who he can trust with his true identity as a Red.

Darrow has seen a lot in the last few years, but he hasn’t completely lost sense of where he came from. In fact he makes a detour back to his mine at some point to reorient who he is and why he’s doing what he’s doing.

“Trust is why Red will have a chance. We are a people bound by song and dance and families and kinship. These people are allies only because they think they must be… it has to be from the bottom up. Red is about family. More than any other Color, it is about love amid all the horror of our world.”


We still get the characters of Roque, Quinn, Tactus, Finchtner, Victra, Cassius, Lorn, and Harmony, but I think my favorite character was Sevro. His boyish humor and wit brings some levity in an otherwise dark situation and his loyalty to Darrow gives you confidence that they can overcome anything.

I like stories with happy endings, and I still hope for that in the next book, but I do respect an author who is willing to lose some people along the way to create depth in the characters and reiterate how high the stakes really are.



I think there’s an interesting discussion that could be had around the idea of people ‘changing.’

After a particular betrayal by Tactus Darrow still sees the good in him, sees his desire to ‘come home.’

“If Tactus can change, Gold can change. They must be broken, but then they must be given a chance. I think it’s what Eo would have wanted in the end.”

This diverges from the attitude Darrow has in Red Rising. I like the heart behind it and I think second chances are possible, but at the same time, in a world where back-stabbing is the norm, it’s hard to imagine that kind of decision would end well on a large scale.

Lorn takes the opposite stance from Darrow- “You will fall to ruin because you believe that exceptions to the rule makes new rules… Men do not change.”

From a biblical perspective— because what else do I do around here— we are enslaved to our sin and the desires of the flesh. They are too powerful to overcome. But people can change through the work of the Holy Spirit. And that’s what speaks to the existence of God. We see his work in people who we couldn’t imagine changing and he renews their hearts and gives them the freedom to choose good.



And then there is always the discussion of what means justify the ends. Especially in terms of war. Harmony says, “To free them, to protect them, we must be savages. So give me evil. Give me darkness. Make me the devil if we can bring even the faintest ray of light.”

It’s easy to be sucked into a world like this and begin to agree with those sentiments because things seem so evil that no other path seems possible. How do you win with kindness when kindness is taken advantage of?

I’m glad we don’t live in a world where we feel like our only option is violence and death. We live in a world where a sovereign and powerful God exists. It’s not up to us to overcome such evil, we can trust the Lord is working and will bring about what is best. And nothing can stand against his power— no amount of money, armies, nuclear weapons, manipulations, or backstabbing.

He never asks us to become savages in the name of peace. Evil never overcomes darkness. And the devil masquerades as light, but he can never bring the real thing.


The Reds have a shadow of heaven in this series:

“They fall and their friends weep and sweep their bodies aside. But we have the Vale to look forward to: what have the Golds? When they perish, their flesh withers and their name and deeds linger till time sweeps them away.”

What a difference it makes in our view of the world when we understand that there is something more to life than this broken earth. Readers should be inspired by this hope and to consider what God has offered them in the real world. A Vale one could never fully grasp.



One thing I thought was really cool was when they were talking about the different ‘rebels’ from different times that stood against the rules set forth by the Society. One couple in particular were from different Colors and thus were forbidden to marry and have children. They rejected that and in secret had surgeries done to allow for them to be together. They were found out and punished in quiet so as not to start a revolution.

“The human spirit tries to break free, again and again, not in hate, but for love. Each is willing to take the leap, thinking they are the first. That’s bravery. And that means it’s a part of who we are as people.”

No dictator or oppressor can take away the human spirit. We see that time and time again— in this series, but also in our own world and history. There is something innate in us that knows what is right and true.

In Darrow’s world they see that truth because why else would people rise up in such dangerous circumstances with no prospect of success, no one who had gone before and accomplished what they desired? They thought they were pioneering a way, but there had been others. All over the place. It had to be something innate.

In our world, we know that God created each of us with eternity in our hearts, with a knowledge of truth and rightness so that we are without excuse. Even in the worst circumstances when the body is broken, when evil seems to prevail, the human spirit shines through. Not in hate. But in love. A transcendent love. A love innate in us through the loving Creator who put it there.



Recommendation

This has been an intense and complex series to read and again, if you can handle the violence, I would definitely recommend.

I do have a caveat, though. This series was originally a trilogy. Then Brown decided to go back and add more books. From what I’ve heard and read, there are a lot of mixed reviews on those books and many who think he should have stopped after book three. There might be even more unnecessary violence and the books are a good deal longer.

Personally, I have decided to read book three and not complete the rest of the series. Unless someone can really convince me it’s worth it, as long as book three resolves well enough, I don’t have a desire to have my view of characters ruined or to spend hundreds of pages in more depravity for no reason.

I will let you know for sure once I finish the next one, but at this point I am just recommending to you the trilogy as well.


[Content Advisory: 64 s-words, 7+ b-words; many uses of their version of the f-word and the British use of the word ‘bloody’; violence and gore]

“We parents have become so frantic, hyper vigilant, and borderline obsessive about our kids’ mental health that we routinely allow all manner of mental health expert to evict us from the room.”

[If you are a critical thinker, I give this book 4 stars because there is a lot to glean and think about in this book. If you read books and either reject them wholesale or accept them wholesale, I give this book 3 stars because I’m not sure you can handle it. You’re going to either miss out on some important things because something she said offended you or you will miss out on some important nuances of what she isn’t saying because you might be blinded by the shininess of Abigail Shrier and her validation of your parenting style.]


Abigail Shrier doesn’t shy away from controversial subjects. She took a lot of heat with her book Irreversible Damage and I’m sure this one has had a similar, polarized reception.

I read Irreversible Damage and thought it was a really good book and that there wasn’t a whole lot to disagree with. I think Bad Therapy differs in that the subject matter is less concrete. The situations and circumstances surrounding anxiety and depression in kids is more abstract and harder to pin down for obvious reasons.

I also think it’s going to be common for readers to forget that from the first, Shrier says that there are indeed kids with profound mental illness or disorders that need therapy. She is not trying to oust therapy from the world.

This book is framed for: “the worriers; the fearful; the lonely, lost, and sad.”

What Shrier is tackling are those who think therapy will solve every problem or those who think prioritizing our feelings is the healthy way. The tricky thing is being able to identify the cases where children actually do need help from the ones that just need to build more confidence and resilience. This book may not necessarily help with that.


Shrier points out that the parents of this generation are striving to undo the ‘parenting mistakes’ of their own parents who historically took on a more authoritative role in their lives.

But if we as parents were “resolved to listen better, inquire more, monitor our kids’ moods, accommodate their opinions when making a family decision, and, whenever possible, anticipate our kids’ distress” then why have we “raised the loneliest, most anxious, depressed, pessimistic, helpless, and fearful generation on record”?


This is a book that is a little hard to take wholesale and the snarky tone, though it does make it more interesting to read, is likely to give the reader a reason to hesitate before throwing out high fives.

I would say that overall I have a pretty laid-back parenting style and so a lot of the ideas she is challenging are things I was already trying to avoid and the things she encourages parents to do are things I was already trying.

Shrier points out the ways that children are disadvantaged when it comes to therapies because they are highly suggestible and likely to give adults the answers they think they want to hear. They are also likely to believe anything the therapist says and leading questions can take them down a road they didn’t need to travel.

“The mental health establishment has successfully sold a generation on the idea that vast numbers of them are sick. Less than half of Gen Zers believes their mental health is ‘good.’”

She also talks about the dangers of ruminating on our feelings. Constantly asking our kids (or anyone) how they’re feeling can actually lead to them feeling worse. No one feels ‘good’ or ‘great’ all the time.

The prioritizing of feelings is a big problem in today’s world. In fact, we are being told that whatever we feel is true, and further, more true than anything else. When a society as individualized as America begins to hold so tightly to their feelings to a point where anything that we don’t like becomes violent, unsafe, or ‘unhealthy’ then unity, cooperation, and mutual respect becomes real hard.

It inevitably creates children who see their own feelings as more important than anyone else’s and come to believe that others should accommodate them in every way possible so that they can be in a place where they feel good.

She touches on the use of phones and social media, though I believe Johnathan Haidt’s book The Anxious Generation spends more time on that facet. It’s hard to deny the research that shows all the psychological and physical damage excessive phone usage and social media has on kids.

She points out the MANY problems with assuming everything can be traced back to a childhood trauma or trauma in general. Even if there was childhood trauma, I’m not convinced that it’s always helpful to be able to identify that in order to move forward.

Bad Therapy

To sum it up, here are the tenets of how to do ‘bad’ therapy:
1. Teach kids to pay close attention to their feelings
2. Induce rumination
3. Make ‘happiness’ a goal but reward emotional suffering
4. Affirm and accommodate kids’ worries
5. Monitor, monitor, monitor
6. Dispense diagnoses liberally
7. Drug ‘em
8. Encourage kids to share their ‘trauma’
9. Encourage young adults to break contact with ‘toxic’ family
10. Create treatment dependency

Here’s the thing.

I don’t think creating more hidden areas on the school playground so kids can have space to be unsupervised is a stellar idea.

I don’t think having a diagnosis always cripples a child— sometimes it’s validating to know what you’re up against so you can use more effective strategies to work against the actual problem.

I don’t think it’s wrong for teachers to be observant of students and to bring up potential problems with parents. I don’t think it’s bad for teachers to have some semblance of training in identifying trauma or other mental problems; they are with our kids for a decent chunk of the day and a lot of kids don’t have attentive parents.

I don’t think it’s a bad idea to provide explanations to your child when they question your decisions or are about to be punished for their behavior.

I don’t think an evolutionary look at anxiety and depression is helpful. (Or true.)

I don’t think that revering old beer drinkers who spend years ‘putting in the work’ trying to like the bitter taste of beer is a good analogy for anything.

I don’t think ignoring our kids if they are cutting is a great strategy.

I don’t think “nature” created a “period of prolonged childhood”.

But there are a lot of takeaways in these pages, not least of which include:

Have high expectations. Let them learn through experience. Let them feel pain— emotional, social, physical. Let them learn how to cope and how to persevere. Schools should be able to give consequences for bad behavior for obvious reasons. Stop calling our kids victims or promoting victimhood as a badge of honor. ‘Knock it off’ and ‘Shake it off’ should be normal parenting strategies and gentle parenting (as described in this book) should indeed, take a hike. Decrease use of technology and social media. Let your child be independent. Use the word ‘stop’ and ‘no’ so your children know what they mean and can better treat other people.


Where’s the Road?

I am not anti-therapy. I have used a counselor in the past few years and really benefited from it. She was a counselor with similar values to myself and someone I would trust with my children should they ever need it.

I admit that a lot of the examples Shrier gives and stories she tells feel so far-fetched to me— is this really happening in schools? do therapists really do this?— because in my personal experience, I haven’t encountered the problems to the degree that Shrier presents them.

I’m inclined to believe that pretty much everything Shrier says is true, however, my question is: how prevalent and widespread are these tactics and methods?

The road of treating mental health is a narrow one.

In one ditch we have all the problems Shrier lays out in this book: an over-reliance on therapy and mental health experts to tell us how to raise our children, helicopter parenting that fixes and accommodates and prevents opportunities for children to build resilience, an over-emphasis on the importance of feelings. Yet in the other ditch we have an anti-therapy attitude that won’t even consider getting their kids diagnosed for ADHD or anxiety, a belief that everyone is out to harm their child, and an environment where children might not be able to share deep and hard feelings they have for fear their parents will just tell them to get over it.

In trying to normalize getting help and being honest about our struggles, we’ve created a trend (just like transgenderism in Irreversible Damage) where it’s popular in schools to have depression or a mental health crisis of some kind. It gives kids attention and makes them feel like they belong.

How do we stop stigmatizing mental health in a negative way without making kids feel like they SHOULD be in the middle of a crisis?

How do we find the road and avoid the ditches?

A critical thinker reading this book will be able to identify the pitfalls of the ditches and to recognize our own shortcomings in our parenting and how we can set better boundaries without having to hold our children’s hands while they try to understand them.

Shrier’s writing tone may cause you to see her in the ditch, but I also can relate to the exasperation she feels with being told she’s incapable of raising her children without professional help when she sees the harm that many professionals are having on children.

I think her call to arms for parents is an honorable one. We are capable of raising our kids. We need to step up to the plate and start enjoying our work as parents to do our best to grow our kids up to go out into the world with confidence and resilience.


The Role of Parents

That’s one of my favorite things about this book: the elevation of parents. I think culture has done a lot of damage to the child/parent relationship, sometimes overt but mostly in subtle ways. To undermine the authority of parents or even the morality of parents.

The way parents are portrayed in TV and movies. The way schools allow for parents to be left out of the picture for some of the biggest struggles our kids face.

Parents are so often portrayed as the bad guys, the ones who just won’t understand, the ones who are doing everything wrong.

“Never do the materials seem to consider that undermining a child’s relationship even with imperfect parents creates psychological damage all its own. How is a child supposed to feel secure after you’ve undermined her faith that her parents know what’s best or have her best interest at heart?”

But I like how Shrier reminds us parents that our role is vital! We know our kids! I also like how she reminds parents that parenting shouldn’t be miserable. It is a joy to be with our kids and when we engage in the methods of bad therapy, we lose sight of who our kids are and what we love about them.

“Having kids is the best, most worthy thing you could possibly do.”

[I’ll pause here to admit that she doesn’t really consider the children whose parents are not around and who do neglect them physically and emotionally. In that way, professionals—schools and counselors— offer the children something they need that they aren’t getting— attention. That has to be part of a discussion, though I think it’s okay that she didn’t spend all her time talking about it. Those parents and families are not her target audience. This book is for the parents that are involved andvto present a different set of ideas than the mainstream. What she poses here won’t work in homes where the parents are absent or neglectful.]


We can trust our instincts about our kids and we can demand to be involved.

Kids look to their parents for guidance. They NEED their parents’ guidance. No one loves kids more than their parents (obviously there are sadly exceptions to this but we’re talking in generalities).

“Kids toss a lot of worries at their parents, sometimes just to see which ones bounce back.”

So much of how our kids respond to things have to do with how WE respond.

Sissy Goff reiterates that in her book Raising Worry-Free Girls (which I highly highly recommend).

She says that when parents handle their children’s struggles by swooping in, we actually prevent our kids from the opportunity to learn how to cope.

“they rescue, they fix, they help her avoid the situations that trigger the fear. But when you rescue her, you’re communicating to her that she needs rescuing. You’re telling her the situation is a frightening one and she’s not capable of handling it.”

Shrier’s books carries many of the same sentiments.

She pulls out some interesting information regarding worldviews and values and how kids cope.

“While teen girls have seen a severe mental health decline, those who identify with liberal and left-leaning politics have suffered worst of all. Liberal teen boys experience worse depression than conservative teen girls. That ought to suggest that most of what we’re seeing isn’t a mental illness crisis. It’s deeply connected to the values and worldview we’ve given our kids, the ways they’ve raised them, the influences around them.”

The role of parents is to love our children and to pass down our values. I know some parents who think they are doing their kids a favor by allowing them to “choose” what they want to believe. That’s, frankly, rubbish. They are kids. They need guidance. They can grow up and change their minds if they want, but you are HELPING your child by instilling values and beliefs in them because it helps them know how to view the world. They need us to show them how to treat people. They need us to teach them what is right and wrong.

By allowing them to ‘figure it out’ themselves is actually still teaching them. It’s teaching them that whatever they think and feel is true and right and what matters most. You may not say it with those words but that’s what the result is likely to be.

Which leads me to my most important observation of this book:


The Missing Piece

However accurate Shrier is in pointing out problematic, therapeutic strategies for helping our kids cope with their struggles, I believe this book is missing a pretty big piece to the puzzle: Jesus.

At every turn of this book I kept thinking to myself, the gospel message and teachings of the Bible do wonders in explaining these problems and offering hope in a dark world.

Scripture gives us the foundational beliefs of right and wrong. It tells us how to treat people. It tells of love, compassion, sacrifice. It talks about fear all the time. But every time it points to hope. It points to enduring. It points to the refuge of Christ that no matter what life throws at us, we are held by the most capable, powerful, and loving hands we could ask for.

It provides the basis for our identity— image-bearers— that protects us from the burden of identity culture tries to fashion for us that just causes depression, anxiety, and discontentment because we could never measure up to their standards or the weight of holding it up on our own is too much.

I find it a little laughable that Shrier kept quoting evolutionary psychologists and biologists who try to explain depression and anxiety as evolutionary mechanisms. Millions and millions of years of evolution and what’s left is an entire human race that is susceptible to anxiety and depression? That’s not an answer.

The Bible knows the problem, the real disease. And it has the cure.

Again, what we are talking about here is not necessarily the deep mental illness and disorders, though I think the Bible has a lot to say in that regard as well, but as a Christ-follower, the world view that I have from the Bible is the framework through which my children can find stability, help, hope, and community.

The Bible even shows us (i.e. Psalms) how to have big feelings of lament, sadness, anger, etc., and to express that, but then to circle back around to say— Yet I will trust you, Lord. I know you are good and my hope is in you.

It’s not enough to just ignore our feelings. The biblical process says to feel the feelings, redirect your gaze, and keep walking forward. “In this world there will be trouble, but take heart for I have overcome the world.” (Jn 16:33)

A biblical understanding of the world doesn’t depict rainbows and unicorns. It is honest about the pain and the struggle; it offers the only framework to explain what we experience, but it is also the only thing that offers true hope and a path forward.

You can read Bad Therapy front to back a million times, but if you don’t have the gospel message of Christ dying to save us from our sin and the consequences of our sin, rescuing us from the darkness, helping us see the light, then you don’t really have much.


Other Reviewers

I didn't have enough room for my full review. To see my summary of what other reviewers have said and my section of more quotes and insights, visit my original review post HERE.


Recommendation

Overall, I would recommend this book. Even if you don’t buy into the degree to which Shrier presents these problems to occur, she has a lot of good insights and warnings. Things to be looking for and wary of as a parent.

It will encourage you that you are capable of raising your kid and you’re not crazy for thinking so. It will also encourage you that your child is capable of more than you think. Resilience is more common than you think. They can do more and handle more than we think. 

If you come away from this book refusing to ever see a therapist, you missed the point. If you come away thinking Shrier wants your children to never have feelings, you missed the point.

Even if I didn’t agree with everything she said, I still think this book is important right now in a world where we’ve accommodated our kids into selfishness and fear. 

And if you’re serious about this topic, I would definitely check out Sissy Goff’s book Raising Worry-Free Girls or James Stephen’s book Wild Things: The Art of Nurturing Boys. 

“If I’d known my house was going to turn into the setting of a Jojo Moyes novel, I’d have let them put me in a nursing home in the first place.”


This is one of those feel-good books about friendship. I couldn’t read a bunch of these back to back but it was a refreshing read in between my typical thrillers! Even though it had a sentimental plot line, the writing style was very good and there was a lot of wit and humor that just made this book a delight to read.

I really enjoyed the message of the story— that life is worth living and that relationships are a mess worth making— and that it was encompassed in an unlikely book club made it all the better and is definitely one I would recommend.

As the title suggests, what ends up forming in the pages of this book is a book club full of lonely (inter-generational) hearts. Although, the people take awhile to figure that out.

What adds to the genuine-ness of this book is that not all the problems get solved or have classic happy endings. It’s real life and healing is a process. Most of the time action steps are small and ordinary.

I really liked that Gilmore chose to create a diverse group of book club members, not just in personality but in age. There is so much value in not just surrounding ourselves with people our own age and stage of life. We need the wisdom and experiences of others to speak into our lives and this book portrays well how meaningful friendships cross generational lines.


The book is told with multiple POVs from each of the characters that make up the book club.
Here’s the cast:

Sloane: librarian; instigator of the book club; her older sister died when they were young

“Since the day my sister Emily died… I hadn’t loved anyone who didn’t exist between the covers of a book. At this point, I wasn’t even sure I knew how.”

How others viewed her:

“She was the only person I knew who was capable of genuine, un-ironic joy in other people’s triumphs.”

“An echo with nothing and no one to call her own. A friendly facade. An empty smile. A scared little girl without an opinion of your own, latching on to other people’s bigger and brighter lives because you’re not willing to full live your own.”

Arthur: old curmudgeon and regular library attendee who all the librarians avoid because of his cutting remarks and general grumpiness; his wife died very young

“Mark Twain was a curmudgeon. Ebenezer Scrooge is a curmudgeon. Arthur McLachlan is Satan’s grandfather.”

Maisey: Arthur’s ‘nosy’ neighbor who works as a phone ‘psychic’; she is divorced and her hostile daughter chose to live with her dad and stepmom

“One should never underestimate the staying power of a woman who had literally nowhere else to be.”

“They had no idea how much I needed this: someone to cook for, someone to care about. Someone who might, if I was tied to a hospital bed and knocking on death’s door, be a little sad to see me go.”

“She drove the same way she talked— wildly and without direction.”

Mateo: Sloane’s coworker at the library; lives with his boyfriend Lincoln; has an overbearing mother who is a famous singer

“If there was one thing I was good at, it was pretending I knew what I was doing. When you were a Sharpe, there was only one rule: The show must go on.”

Greg: I don’t want to spoil too much about Greg but his mother had died recently of cancer

Nigel: I can’t tell you his deal without spoilers too but he is also sad



The book club had a unique start.

At the library Sloane encountered Arthur in all his curmudgeonliness. They began a ritual of sorts where they traded literary banter and arguments. Sloane refused to back down from Arthur and gave crap back to him.

Then one day she realizes he hadn’t come in the library at all that week. Concerned for his safety she breaks library protocol, looks up his address, and shows up at his house to make sure he’s okay.

Turns out he had a health scare and was in the process of, in turn, scaring off the in-home health care.

After Sloane loses her job for disobeying her boss’s order to leave Arthur alone, Sloane now has the time to take care of him. Arthur is begrudging to accept any help, but he also refuses to return to the hospital. The compromise is that Sloane catalogues the stacks of books all over his house and is there if he needs anything.

The neighbor gets involved and to Arthur’s dismay, a book club emerges. Eventually they end up needing Mateo’s registered nurse skills so he gets an invite to the group. And Greg and Nigel also eventually get grafted in.



Loneliness is a real epidemic these days. There are lots of books about how we are so connected via the internet and social media that it actually makes us less connected in the ways that matter most.

Covid-19 added a whole new layer of loneliness when shelter in place laws kept families and support systems apart. The elderly in nursing homes stopped having visitors and many died without anyone there to hold their hands. I was in the hospital for a couple weeks in 2020 before my twins were born and was told they had just changed the rules at the hospital to allow husbands to stay in the mothers’ rooms because they were prescribing so many depression meds for the moms because they were dealing with it all alone.

The Lonely Hearts Book Club does not tackle the Covid stuff at all, but I couldn’t help but see the connection.

God created us to be relational beings. In relationship with him, but also with others. We need each other. There is struggle and heartache when we find ourselves alone.

Even in a crowd we can be lonely. Some of these characters have people around them, but they haven’t been able to be vulnerable, to let someone in or to do the hard and messy work of loving another.


I love what one of the characters realizes: “This world was a terrible place… it tried to convince you that you were alone in your suffering. Everyone in this room had fallen for that lie but I wasn’t having it anymore.”

I would go a step further and more specifically say that Satan wants to convince you that you are alone in your suffering. That is a lie that keeps you from seeing the other lies in your life you may be believing. We weren’t made to do this life alone but Satan would love to isolate you from the love and support of others.

In the very beginning God declared it was not good for man to be alone.

Hebrews 10:24-25 says “let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another…”

Galatians 6:2 says “Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.”

There’s plenty more commands to that effect, plus all the verses exhorting us to love one another. How can we love each other if we aren’t with each other? How can we bear each other’s burdens if we aren’t honest with each other?



The Lonely Hearts Book Club wasn’t studying the Bible, but they still quickly came to understand the value of sharing that time together, of bearing each other’s burdens, of allowing others to be in your life and serving others in yours.

The books they read together helped them express the words that were deep in their hearts, the hurts and the truths that were fighting to get out but without a way to do it.

They realized that isolating themselves in their grief and their struggle took away from their ability to truly live life.

“I clutched the book to my chest in sudden, heart-wrenching sadness. Not because of the people we’d lost and would continue to lose, but because even with that loss in every horizon, life still called to me… it had been calling me for years— but it had taken this random, beautiful collection of people for me to realize…”

It reminded me of a book I read called On Getting Out of Bed that addresses the difficulty of ‘getting out of bed’ when you’re grieving, depressed, or anxious. The author says,

“Your existence testifies… There is nowhere you can hide where your life will not speak something to the world.”

He goes on to say,

“Life will inevitably crush you, at one point or another, and your response to that suffering will testify to something. There will be times when subjectively you will be convinced that life is not worth living, and that existence is not beautiful or good but onerous and meaningless. When those times come, your obligation is to look toward others as witnesses of God’s goodness, to remember your responsibilities to care for others, and to remember that you are always a witness, whether you want to be or not. But most of all, remember that you are God’s beloved. This means acknowledging the objective reality that life is good, and that despite our distress, we must get up and carry on.” [On Getting Out of Bed]


The Lonely Hearts Book Club reminds us that life is worth living. That relationships are a mess worth making. That even in our grief or our struggles, there are others who need us even as we need them. God designed it that way.

We aren’t meant to be lonely. Fight against the lie that you are alone. Find your people that will be there for you. If it takes a book club to get there, so be it! There are actually a ton of books out there that may start the conversations you need to speak into your life or another.




The books talked about in The Lonely Hearts Book Club are largely classics— which I’m not a huge fan of, but I appreciate what the author was doing in writing it like that. Classics are classics because they usually touch on timeless, relevant human experiences and emotions.

One of the books that became prominent in the story was Anne of Green Gables. I suspect if you enjoyed that one, it will add an extra layer of sentimental value to this book as well. You’ll find some “kindred spirits.”



This book is a good book club book option. It even includes some good discussion questions at the end of the book.

The fifth question mentions the social media challenge where you put two or more book titles together to make a funny phrase or sentence [“A Time to Kill Pollyanna”]. Since it’s totally something up my alley, I’m including a few (I got carried away) of my own. Feel free to add yours in the comments!

- Against All Odds Lenny Marks Gets Away with Murder
- Before We Were Yours We Were Dreamers
- Carrie Soto is Back Confronting Christianity
- The Day He Never Came Home Airborne
- Everybody Always Start Without Me
- Everyone in My Family Has Killed Someone In Cold Blood Where the Crawdads Sing
- Everybody Fights The Four Winds
- Excuse Me While I Disappear On the Edge of the Dark Sea of Darkness
- I’m Glad My Mom Died In Order to Live
- I’ll Never Tell The Last Thing He Told Me
- I Remember You Only If You’re Lucky
- I Will Make You Pay A Man Called Ove
- Just Do Something When I’m Gone
- This is Going to Hurt Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow
- Watch Out for Her Alter Ego
- What if Book Lovers Woke Up Like This


Recommendation

This is a great read! Even if you don’t love sentimental fiction books, I think it’s a quick enough and funny enough read that it will still be a compelling read for you.

I’m not a huge fan of books that showcase LGBTQ relationships, but this book’s message about life and friendship was able to overshadow that for me and still makes this a book I definitely recommend.

Life is calling you to come live it. Let these characters inspire you to be known by another and to share your burdens.


[Content Advisory: a few f-words in Mateo’s chapters; no sexual content; there is a romantic relationship between two male characters]

“Election is God’s gracious and loving action to which we contribute nothing and for which, therefore, God receives all the glory.” 

Predestination. Election.

Words that are sure to suck the life out of any room. At least in my circles, these topics tend to be avoided in conversation. Nervous chuckles and nudges to get back to talking about easier things like the fruit of the Spirit.

I think it’s pretty common. For two reasons: either people don’t really know anything about it and it feels like an overwhelming thought to entertain or people don’t want to end up in arguments and cause division. 

I came into this book with a Calvinistic belief already in place. I had done some study of it and most of the avenues of discussion are not new to me. However, I still found this book to be helpful because it turns out I had a skewed view of the Arminian side of the coin. 

Sam Storms does a great job of presenting fairly both sets of beliefs and explaining them as the belief holders would. His hope in writing this book is to dispel the caricatures of both camps and bring clarity. 

 

It’s good to be upfront that though this book is presenting ‘a case’ to persuade readers to believe a certain belief, it is not because believing that belief is essential to salvation. Storms assures us that he has believing Calvinist friends AND believing Arminian friends.


So why even talk about it?

I believe this doctrine is important in terms of how you view God, yourself, others, evangelism, and the Bible. It informs how we preach, how we pray, and how we worship.

To put it plainly, both Calvinists and Arminians believe the Bible teaches election; the question at hand is: “Does God elect people because they believe in the Lord Jesus Christ, or does God elect people in order that they shall believe in Christ?”


Storms gives chapters to each the Arminian and Calvinist view of election and then has chapters discussing freedom of the will, faith and repentance, and grace.

Then he looks at specific Bible passages in the Gospels and Acts, the Epistles and Revelation, and then several chapters on Romans 9 which is one of the most prominent Bible passages in defense of unconditional election.

He briefly covers the ‘order of salvation’ and then addresses crucial questions surrounding this topic like- how can God be just? how can God be loving? why should we preach or pray?

Lastly he provides a defense for the defense of unconditional election.

[Ultra-lastly, there are three appendices regarding: problem passages, who can pray for the lost, and my personal favorite I’ll call ‘big words you can pull out at a dinner party to feel super smart but probably won’t make you a lot of friends— see bonus section.]


To help put things in perspective, Storms sets up an illustration at the beginning of the book: two brothers with the same genetics and familial upbringing— one ends up in heaven and one ends up in hell. Why? How can we explain why Jerry believed and Ed did not?

Is it ultimately God who saves or is it our own choice to believe?


If this is a doctrine you are confused, unsure, or curious about, reading the entire book is the best course of action. But for those who won’t, I’ll try to explain the two views and summarize the main points. Storms wrote a whole book about it, so this review is in now way a complete resource on the topic.

Goodreads has a cap on characters so to get my full review please visit my original blog post HERE because space does not allow for all my words here.


Some quotes in the meantime:

“If any man or woman is ever converted to Christ it is not because the Holy Spirit outwits us or is more skilled in the tactics of religious debate. If we are converted it is because the Holy Spirit sovereignly, which is to say independently of our ideas or efforts, recreates within us a heart willing to believe.”

“To say God ‘denies’ something to one that he ‘gives’ to another implies that God is withholding what he ‘owes.’ Thus for God to ‘deny’ eternal salvation to some suggests he is refusing to give them what they deserve, or what he owes them, or what he as God is obligated to give them… Secondly, the word ‘denies’ suggests that people have asked God, indeed pleaded with him, for eternal life and he ‘denies’ it to them or refuses to grant it to them.”

“To choose people because they believe is an obligation to which God is bound; it is a debt he must pay… How can election be gracious if it is something God must do because justice requires it? Election is gracious precisely because it is the bestowal of life on those who deserve only death.”

“What is it, then, that dictates and determines God’s choice? God… Why that particular choice is more pleasing to God than another, or why neither choice pleases him, is not revealed in Holy Scripture… How can anyone object to the reason God elected Jerry instead of Ed when no one knows what that reason is?”


Recommendation

I would definitely recommend this book. It’s a topic that Christians need to be willing to engage in and Sam Storms does a great job of tackling this divisive issue with clarity and accessibility.

I’m one of the weird ones who enjoys a book on a theologically taboo subject, but even if that’s not you, I think you’ll find the book helpful and insightful.

And I would also recommend J.I. Packer’s book Evangelism and the Sovereignty of God for more on why unconditional election does not take away from the urgency or charge to evangelize. 

“A suspicious death, a silent child— the blueprint of my childhood is being drawn all over again. Everything I’ve held tightly inside for three decades is jarring loose.”

Pekkanen has co-written books with Greer Hendricks (An Anonymous Girl and The Golden Couple) but this was my first book by just her and I really enjoyed it— probably more than the joint books.

First of all, I think it’s great that I can read a secular psychological thriller and have no swearing or graphic sexual content. The Golden Couple had a lot of f-words so it must be Hendricks’ contribution of the duo and I appreciate that Pekkanen does her own thing.


The joint books both looked at dysfunctional marriage in the context of a therapist character. This book was a little different. There is still a divorce in the plot, but the main character— Stella— is a best-interest lawyer tasked with determining which Barclay should get custody of Rose.

What makes this a psychological thriller is that the family’s nanny (Tina) had recently “fallen” to her death out of the third story window of their house after her affair and pregnancy with Mr. Barclay came to light. It was never determined to be a murder, but both parents and the live-in grandmother were suspects.

Before Stella can report back with what is best for their daughter, Rose, she needs to figure out what happened to the nanny. She can’t send Rose to live with a murderer.

“Every detail of the Barclays’ seven-bedroom home and manicured gardens is flawlessly curated. And every person I’ve encountered here is deeply damaged.”

But things take a turn when Stella notices Rose collecting sharp objects. In fact, her parents have removed all glass from their house. She also discovers Rose is reading a book written about Ted Bundy.

Could Rose actually be behind Tina’s death?

Stella’s own traumatic childhood makes her the perfect person to figure this out. Ever since Tina fell to her death Rose has been mute. Stella, herself, was mute for awhile after she found her mother’s body as a child. She is determined to be an advocate for Rose and not assume the worst about her when she can’t speak for herself.

“Rose is losing everything, just as I did. Her voice is gone. Her family as she knew it has split into fragments. She left her school. Soon she’ll lose her house. Those are the tangible things. She has also lost her joy. her sense of safety has vanished.”

But will her open-mindedness lead her into inescapable danger?



Pekkanen does a really good job of making you second-guess your predictions. I felt like it moved at a faster pace than the joint books and kept my interest the whole time. I also found the main character to be more likeable than the other characters’ books.



Probably my main negative of this book was when— out of nowhere— the author decided that Stella should suddenly be attracted to the female detective that had worked the nanny case.

Stella just finalized her divorce and the author mentions that Stella “had never been attracted to women before” but then out of the blue she comments on the detective’s “knockout smile” and says “She may just be doing her job, but I like it that she seems to care.”

It was so out of left field that I re-read the paragraph multiple times because I thought I was interpreting it wrong. But nope. It felt like Pekkanen, after writing most of the book, suddenly realized she didn’t have an LGBTQ character and decided she needed to add some diversity so she threw it in. It felt very unnecessary.

Why couldn’t she have just been a really good friendship that comes Stella’s way to help her through the difficult divorce and case that that stirred up bad childhood memories. A love interest seems very abrupt and cliche.



This is my second recent book with a mute character. If this type of story interests you, you would probably like Mike Omer’s book called Please Tell Me. It is about a little girl who was kidnapped and then found, but she is now mute and her captors are at large. Using play therapy they try to unlock what really happened to her.

I think it’s interesting to think about that book and this book in light of what I’m currently reading— the non-fiction book by Abigail Shrier called Bad Therapy. It sheds a little different light on the perspective of therapy that is encouraged in both fiction books… well and really any psychological thriller that utilizes the therapist trope.


A couple other random comments:

- When Charles comes back for his briefcase of money and she asks him to describe it he says: “Smart of you to check. It’s dark brown. A couple years old.” Considering how much money was left in there, the smart thing would be for her to require more than the most vague description of any briefcase that ever existed.

- I am very intrigued by this Nest candle. I love candles. Probably too much. And I can’t imagine spending $80 on a candle. So if you have used Nest candles, please deliver your honest review to me on whether or not these candles are worth buying more than the average candle at Bath and Body Works or Kohls. Please and thank you.

- Stella talks about texting 9-1-1 and I had never heard of this. It seems like a helpful but also not helpful thing so I looked it up. It’s only offered in some counties and I downloaded the list but it’s super long and not easy to sort so I have no idea if I can text them where I live. BUT when I looked it up, it also seemed like calling 911 is definitely the better option if you are able.



Recommendation

I definitely recommend this book! I thought it was a really good psychological thriller that kept me guessing. My negative thing was pretty minor and didn’t arise until a decent way through the book.

Paired with the fact that there is no swearing or sexual content, this is a great option for all readers.

I may not read more of their joint books, but I would definitely read more solo Pekkanen books!


[Content Advisory: no swearing or sexual content (other than the reported infidelity); there is an introduction of same-sex attraction 77% through the book]


**Received an ARC via NetGalley**

My feelings about this book are pretty similar to the other Colleen Coble book I read- Strands of Truth. I would say Colleen Coble knows her audience and has mastered writing to them.

I’m not exactly her core audience so there was enjoyment for me reading this book, but aspects of it that didn’t quite land.

Just like in Strands of Truth there were some interactions, reactions, dialogue, and word choice that at times seemed unnatural to me— are eyes really intelligent? would Lucas really have called Emily a dimwit? — and the like. But these parts aren’t all over the place and don’t hinder your ability to stay in the story.

In the author’s note, Coble said that she’s been fascinated with Faberge eggs and wanted to write a story about it. So no, Coble didn’t contemplate- what would be the most realistic, thrilling story I could write? and then crank this out. This came from- how can I write a romantic suspense story that incorporates Faberge eggs? I think she did a good job of coming up with something!


The basic premise is (and I agree with other reviewers that the Goodreads summary probably provides too much information… and has Lucas’s name wrong?) Carly Tucker, who lives with her grandmother after her husband’s unsolved murder and 9 months after she has his baby, comes across a treasure in the antique collection left to her by her great-grandmother. She discovers it’s an authentic Faberge egg that was declared lost and may have been part of the reason her husband was murdered.

But there are multiple groups, including the Russian mafia, out to secure the egg and Carly and her family find themselves in the center of a lot of danger as Carly attempts to figure out the story of the egg.

Throw in some romance between Carly and the detective next door who is helping her case and a long lost twin sister of her grandma who has another piece of the puzzle and you’ve got a drama filled book!



Carly wasn’t a super relatable character for me personally because, like some other readers, it got on my nerves how much she let her sisters walk all over her and cater to their every whim. I wouldn’t have put up with that. But at least Coble writes some good character development for her throughout the story as she is confronted with some hard information about her past relationships. Lucas helps her stand up for herself while still acknowledging that her serving nature and humble spirit are good things.

I do feel like there was a plot hole in terms of how little security the families had after people broke into their property multiple times and then someone was found killed in one of the rooms. I don’t think just moving next door was quite enough to feel safe to sleep at night, but I suppose it’s one of those necessary plot holes to provide a place for some action.

I enjoyed the setting of South Carolina with its live oak trees and trying to imagine the mansion as it was being remodeled. I wish I could see it in real life.


Recommendation

Overall, I would recommend this book if you enjoy a good, clean romantic suspense story or if you’re really into Faberge eggs.

It’s not going to keep you up at night, but I never dreaded picking it up to keep reading.

Even if you don’t purposefully read Christian fiction, I think it’s worth giving a shot if romantic suspense is up your alley. If you’re mostly into edgy thrillers, this may not be a good match for you.


[Content Advisory: no swearing or sexual content; infidelity]


**Received an ARC via NetGalley**

“I reconciled that night long ago, when the choice I had was college or jail for accessory to murder.”

I had enjoyed Jaime Lynn Hendricks’ book I Didn’t Do It, which, though that book had quite a bit of swearing, I thought there were some redeeming parts. So I was looking forward to this book.

Unfortunately, this one had way more swearing and sexual content without any of the redeeming parts.

This book followed the popular trope of ‘something bad happened back when we were in school and someone died but we promised never to talk about it until we’re adults and a stranger starts digging and asking questions and now we have to talk about what really happened back then.’


Most recently I read Only If You’re Lucky which also released this year and they are pretty similar stories actually. Same unbelievability about what teens are capable of doing and keeping a secret and somehow not being affected by any of it. Also both have a duo of: narcissistic best friend and best friend who would do anything for their popular friend because they can’t afford to lose their friend’s love and attention.

Sometimes the ‘what really happened back then’ trope works for me, but it seems like most of the time youths are involved (including this one) I’m unsatisfied with the book.


The basic premise of this book was that a car accident happened the night of the senior year party that was eventually just determined to be an accident, but the detective suspected something else happened that night. Scarlett and Pepper, best friends, have agreed never to talk about it or tell a soul. Pepper leaves town that week and never comes back. Now 20 years later, Pepper’s grown daughter, Zoey, shows up on Scarlett’s doorstep with the news that Pepper died in a car accident recently. Zoey is now demanding answers about who her father is and what Pepper lied to her about from her past. Was someone murdered? Who was cheating on who? Was everyone too drunk to know anything?!


The characters in this book are all terrible. I don’t even believe the ‘characters I love to hate’ acquiescence applies here. The only good character was Scarlett’s son, Luke, but even he was a drug dealer— which by the way, is apparently supposed to be endearing because he’s doing it to help his mom get away from his dad and he’s not actually really doing the drugs.

It’s a book full of debauchery— because everyone slept around and lived their high school years in drunken stupor— that of course is going to lead to some challenges. It’s all pretty dysfunctional and the only character development I saw was that compared to some of the characters, others are all of a sudden ‘not as bad as that one.’


I also didn’t like the title- A lovely lie. Somehow the story Pepper and Scarlett determined they would tell the detectives was referred to as the lovely lie, but that adjective doesn’t make any sense and is definitely not how any normal person would refer to the lie. I’m trying to think of a better example of a lie that could be called a lovely lie and I can’t come up with anything. It’s fun alliteration, but it feels disjointed and uncreative to invest the title in and then try to cram it into the character’s thoughts throughout the book.


Another annoying thing from this book was how Scarlett constantly used the phrase ‘my boy’ in regards to her son, Luke. She says it 11 times throughout the book. It got to the point where I was convinced Vince had to not be Luke’s father. Considering all the other information we were learning about Scarlett, Pepper, Vince, and Chris, it really felt only natural that Scarlett had a child with someone else and lied about it this whole time.

But nope. She just really likes to talk about her son like an old grandpa. I don’t think it’s a spoiler, but since I wouldn’t recommend this book to you, it doesn’t matter anyway because you won’t read it.


Lastly, I just really don’t enjoy books where the mystery and lies are surrounded by drunkenness. It just feels like a lazy or too convenient way to not have to give the readers the truth or to cast suspicion on other characters. It is an unsatisfactory excuse for any sort of plot development. I don’t like those kinds of stories. Everyone’s drunk so they don’t remember everything right… just teens being teens…


Okay one more thing: shouldn’t the car on the front of the cover only have one headlight?



Recommendation

I do not recommend this book.

There’s not much to like. Unlikeable characters. Lots of profanity. Lots of dysfunction. Predictable. Not a great ending.

I can’t think of a reason for why you should read it.There are plenty of other books about lies, past or present, that are way better than this one so just skip it and move on.

If you want to try this author, try I Didn’t Do It instead. I’m not sure I’m willing to try any of her other books at this point. We might just need to part ways now.


[Content Advisory: 101 f-words; 81 s-words; 26 d-words; 15 b-words; sexual content; reference to rape; miscarriage; affair]


**Received an ARC via NetGalley**

“Byron could not yet know for certain the true nature lurking inside his fellow seamen or even himself: a long, dangerous voyage inexorably exposed one’s hidden soul.”


This was quite the nautical tale!

It is Pirates of the Caribbean meets Gilligan’s Island but in the spirit of Lord of the Flies. Instead of Jack Sparrow’s humor, we are imbibed with anarchy and the desperation of starvation and fear of death that leads to dehumanization. But yes, there is treasure.

I was surprised with how this book kept my attention. It was really interesting to learn more about voyages at sea and to learn all the colloquialisms derived from nautical terms.

From the beginning Grann sets up the mystery: two different parties return to England with different stories about what happened. As a reader you already know there is mutiny, shipwreck, and murder, but you don’t know what ‘really happened’ out there. That is slowly unraveled.

This is one of those books that when you read it, you praise the Lord that you don’t live during that time. I am thankful for the age of planes, trains, and automobiles. Sailing on the ship is basically like going to Australia— everything can kill you. (Except Australia has a much higher survival rate than a ship… and much better food.)


I already got a taste of this when I read the book Amazing Grace which tells the tale of John Newton and his voyages on slave ships. That book had a whole other level of dehumanization that The Wager only briefly touches on.

But both mention the press gangs and both quote the poet William Cowper. Both detail the horrors of illness, injury, and the merciless storms at sea.


I do find it interesting that Grann says of the accounts from The Wager:

“We rummage through the raw images of our memories, selecting, burnishing, erasing. We emerge as the heroes of our stories, allowing us to live with what we have done— or haven’t done.”

The stories that came back from the Wager’s shipwreck and their horrific weeks stranded on an island and their attempts to return home are conflicting. The details are obscured.

And that was one of the disappointments with the book. We are left with a bit of mystery on who is telling the truth. Both parties had a lot to lose. And the court hearing that happened was unsatisfactory in revealing the truth. Most likely because of political reasons.

Some readers might be okay with an open-ended book. Others might find that frustrating.


But I can’t help but see that contrast with the Amazing Grace book. John Newton of all people had a lot of willful sin he would want to hide, justify, or lie about. But he was honest about his treachery. He owned his sin. We see his story of redemption and the way he found forgiveness from a loving God. He definitely wasn’t the hero of his own story— Christ was.

The Wager has no such redemption. Even though Bulkley claimed to be a believer, his stories don’t have the transparency and humility of Newton’s.

Both accounts happen during the same time, but we have very different outcomes.

The Wager was hard to read, but Amazing Grace is harder. If you can handle it, I would recommend you give that a read too.

One very clear truth we can gather from The Wager is the sinful nature of man. Given the right circumstances, the perfect storm, every human is capable of unspeakable things. The Wager’s shipwreck is not an isolated example. We see it time and time again.

When there is no leadership or leadership is questioned and everyone is left to do what is right in their own eyes (hello book of Judges), nothing good happens. We would like to think we would all do the ‘right’ thing. But everyone’s idea of ‘right’ is different. If we need a leader, we usually don’t agree on who gets to be the leader or what behaviors are acceptable or not. And if we think we’re right and the majority is wrong, we will fight for our own way, even if we have to be sneaky.

I’ve watched enough Survivor to know that even on a reality show in a controlled environment, there are major conflicts with how much rice each person should get and when. Who gets to be the leader and make decisions for the tribe? Who decides who is the weakest member that should be eliminated first? Who is causing the problems? It ruins relationships and people are voted off the island. And that’s not even a life or death situation.

It’s a total microcosm of what happened with the Wager.

Add to that the very real biological and mental problems that come with starvation. Self-preservation is king. By any means necessary.


It humbles me and reminds me of my need for a Savior. It reminds me that I’m plagued by sin and if left to my own devices, I won’t always choose love and sacrifice— if ever. It reminds me how thankful I am to have the power of the Holy Spirit at work in my life to protect me from myself. He enables me to choose what is right and to value the lives of others, even above my own.

It reminds me how thankful I am that Jesus Christ died on the cross to pay the penalty of my sin so that I have hope. I don’t have to be enslaved to my selfish desires and there is a future for me. I don’t have to burnish or erase my memories because I don’t have to be my own hero. I have forgiveness and a perfect Hero who gives me something to live for.


Another disappointment with the book was something I’ve seen other reviewers comment on as well. There were some editorial comments— mostly at the end— that took away from the book overall.

Grann took it upon himself to point out the Imperial system of Britain and charge the sailors for not doing something about it.

“The authors rarely depicted themselves or their companions as the agents of an imperialist system. They were consumed with their own daily struggles and ambitions… and ultimately, with survival. But it is precisely such unthinking complicity that allows empires to endure. Indeed, these imperial structures require it: thousands and thousands of ordinary people, innocent or not, serving— and even sacrificing themselves for— a system many of them rarely question.”

I’m not trying to defend Imperial Britain or other unjust systems, especially the slave trade and chattel slavery, by any means. But it’s become quite popular to get on a high horse and lay out all the people to blame for these systems and to place people on the complicity spectrum. To some degree everyone participates in any system that has ever existed or continues to exist, no matter how many protests we attend or ‘equality’ posts we share. We don’t need to take every possible opportunity to assign blame amounts and show how progressive we are because we would NEVER have allowed the Imperial system to exist if we were alive in the 1700s.

Sure, if this book were largely about the Imperial system, we can talk about it. But this book was about a military ship’s journey around South America and their subsequent shipwreck and their attempts to survive. They were acting out orders of the government during a war, but to throw on these politically charged opinions just didn’t fit the book to me. It’s not lost on me that there is an underlying dig in that statement that has nothing to do with Britain and it felt like poor writing to include.

No, it was not pervasive throughout the entire book, and it does not render the book un-recommendable, but it felt worth noting.



Colloquialisms:

Here are some phrases that were all originally nautical terms that have become part of our everyday speech. I had no idea!

around the horn
toe the line
pipe down
scuttlebutt
three sheets to the wind
turn a blind eye
under the weather
dead reckoning

I also was surprised to know that the Byron who sailed on The Wager was the grandfather to the poet Lord Byron. I feel like there could be some interesting fiction written around that family with this kind of history…


Recommendation

I would recommend this book. It’s an engaging non-fiction book about a controversial part of Britain’s War of Jenkin’s Ear and the subsequent disasters that occurred— a story relatively hidden until now.

Some parts are hard to read and may seem a little gruesome or hard to stomach, but it’s not written in an excessive way.

This is the same author who wrote Killers of the Flower Moon which was just released as a movie last year. I may go back and read some of his other books because he does a good job of making history read like a fiction novel.


[Content Advisory: minimal swearing, if any; no sexual content; violence, hints of cannibalism; brief gore]