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ralovesbooks's reviews
1431 reviews
Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals by Oliver Burkeman
5.0
I think my favorite part of this book is its reinforcement that we are limited human beings. It's a sensible, realistic, TRUE premise that undergirds the rest of the research and recommendations. I loved facts like how the word "decide" is rooted in the idea of killing or cutting off other options (similar to the word "homicide," yikes, but wow), and I truly do have the joy of missing out (JOMO) because I find that the fewer options I have, the better. Life is full of tradeoffs, and we can't and won't do it all. So why don't I choose what I DO want to do and then DO it? The idea of pursuing something without knowing how or if it will come to fruition was very challenging.
Then there's this idea of wonder, which is an inherently unproductive but cherished thing. In 2022, I made a list of the things that made me catch my breath, and re-reading that list brings me right back to those moments. And I'm glad I experienced them and wrote them down. None of them are about achievement because those milestones so quickly go into my rearview mirror as I bulldoze ahead to the next thing to check off the list. Of course, there's this trap I fall into when I'm hyperconscious of whether I'm being present or if I'm having fun, which quickly dashes away being present or having fun. But this book, along with other ideas, is a helpful challenge to reorient myself, become more comfortable with unscheduled time, and loosen my grip on extrinsic reinforcement.
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The world is bursting with wonder, and yet it's the rare productivity guru who seems to have considered the possibility that the ultimate point of all our frenetic doing might be to experience more of that wonder. (5)
...meaningful productivity often comes not from hurrying things up but from letting them take the time they take, surrendering to what in German has been called Eigenzeit, or the time inherent to a process itself. (33)
"Attention is the beginning of devotion," writes the poet Mary Oliver, pointing to the fact that distraction and care are incompatible with each other... (94)
Five questions (220-227)
Then there's this idea of wonder, which is an inherently unproductive but cherished thing. In 2022, I made a list of the things that made me catch my breath, and re-reading that list brings me right back to those moments. And I'm glad I experienced them and wrote them down. None of them are about achievement because those milestones so quickly go into my rearview mirror as I bulldoze ahead to the next thing to check off the list. Of course, there's this trap I fall into when I'm hyperconscious of whether I'm being present or if I'm having fun, which quickly dashes away being present or having fun. But this book, along with other ideas, is a helpful challenge to reorient myself, become more comfortable with unscheduled time, and loosen my grip on extrinsic reinforcement.
--
The world is bursting with wonder, and yet it's the rare productivity guru who seems to have considered the possibility that the ultimate point of all our frenetic doing might be to experience more of that wonder. (5)
...meaningful productivity often comes not from hurrying things up but from letting them take the time they take, surrendering to what in German has been called Eigenzeit, or the time inherent to a process itself. (33)
"Attention is the beginning of devotion," writes the poet Mary Oliver, pointing to the fact that distraction and care are incompatible with each other... (94)
Five questions (220-227)
- Where in your life or your work are you currently pursuing comfort, when what's called for is a little discomfort?
- James Hollis recommends asking of every significant decision in life: "Does this choice diminish me or enlarge me?" ... you usually know, intuitively, whether remaining in a relationship or job would present the kind of challenges that will help you grow (enlargement) or the kind that will cause your soul to shrivel with every passing week (diminishment). Choose uncomfortable enlargement over comfortable diminishment whenever you can. (221)
- Are you holding yourself to, and judging yourself by, standards of productivity or performance that are impossible to meet?
- In what ways have you yet to accept the fact that you are who you are, not the person you think you ought to be?
- In which areas of life are you still holding back until you feel like you know what you're doing?
- How would you spend your days differently if you didn't care so much about seeing your actions reach fruition?
The Night Diary by Veera Hiranandani
4.0
Thanks to Laura for this rec β an excellent middle grade novel about the partition of India and Pakistan in the 1940s, and the ensuing migration and refugee crisis, which I did not know anything about. Recommended!
Mozart's Starling by Lyanda Lynn Haupt
3.0
Fairly entertaining but a bit wandery. It's difficult when the title is Mozart's Starling, but there's really not much known about the actual starling. I learned a lot! I think the author does a good job with the tension of being against starlings as an invasive species but having so much affection for her own starling, Carmen.
A Heart That Works by Rob Delaney
5.0
If you are in the mood to get your heart torn out, HAVE I GOT A BOOK FOR YOU. Seriously, though, it's so good and brutal. Content warnings: death of a child, cancer, and profanity that is absolutely appropriate for this grief.
Amari and the Night Brothers by B.B. Alston
4.0
Great middle grade fantasy! I would definitely recommend to younger readers. The audio production is really well done.
Wolf Hall by Hilary Mantel
Did not finish book. Stopped at 23%.
Did not finish book. Stopped at 23%.
I don't think I'm into the subject matter enough to sink this much time into this novel. By the time the fifth guy named Thomas showed up, I had to be done. I know, it's not their fault; these were their actual names. But, no. And now I can donate my print copy somewhere with impunity.
What Happened to You?: Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing by Bruce D. Perry, Oprah Winfrey
4.0
βThe acknowledgment of one human being by another is what bonds us. Asking 'What happened to you?' expands the human connection.β β Dr. Perry
I read this book based on a recommendation from Episode 9 of the Dressember podcast, Things Survivors Wish You Knew, with guest Suamhirs Piraino-Guzman, and I'm very grateful for that suggestion. I found it really helpful to learn about the neuroscience behind trauma -- what's happening in the brain -- and how it manifests clinically in behavior. The audio production goes back and forth between Oprah and Dr. Perry, and it feels podcast-y. My biggest takeaways were about dissociation, and learning more about it helped illuminate incidents in my past when I definitely coped in that way, and I didn't have the vocabulary to articulate it. There's also a lot of good points here about growing sensitivity (and decreased resiliency) as a society in general, due to lack of connection and investment in nuanced conversation. I think this book would be helpful for anyone because we are all in relationships and hopefully trying to be more compassionate, responsive people in them.
I read this book based on a recommendation from Episode 9 of the Dressember podcast, Things Survivors Wish You Knew, with guest Suamhirs Piraino-Guzman, and I'm very grateful for that suggestion. I found it really helpful to learn about the neuroscience behind trauma -- what's happening in the brain -- and how it manifests clinically in behavior. The audio production goes back and forth between Oprah and Dr. Perry, and it feels podcast-y. My biggest takeaways were about dissociation, and learning more about it helped illuminate incidents in my past when I definitely coped in that way, and I didn't have the vocabulary to articulate it. There's also a lot of good points here about growing sensitivity (and decreased resiliency) as a society in general, due to lack of connection and investment in nuanced conversation. I think this book would be helpful for anyone because we are all in relationships and hopefully trying to be more compassionate, responsive people in them.
The Thief Knot by Kate Milford
2.0
This one felt so wandery and loose. The end has some payoff, but it took so long to get there. I miss Milo and the old gang!