jiujensu's reviews
440 reviews

Overall, I would recommend. Lots of really relatable girl coming of age stories. At first, i didn't connect with some of the humor when it was like a New Yorker Shouts and Murmurs column but there was also a part that made me laugh so hard I couldn't talk and so much cringeworthy material i related to. I've read far too many boy coming of age things that are considered Great Literature You Must Read If You Want To Consider Yourself An Intellectual. I hope eventually things by women are considered as essential.

I love a behind the scenes look at things first of all. But there's so much more. She's an engaging and funny human. 

But also I think what's compelling is her not realizing her mom abused and exploited her and reading it as she retells how that unfolded or unraveled. It's huge when you realize abuse is abuse after years of not (because that's your upbringing, your normal), the thing that was your identity or safety just wasn't and parents who are supposed to love you and help you be healthy sometimes just aren't equipped. It's sort of devastating to fully grasp. She really brings you along.

His experience as a poet and music critic really shine though on these essays. They're about a number of social justice topics, race, Islam, post 9/11, optimism, 2016, death, white liberals, realness, small joys. 

I'd say he's not so great on feminism but probably has grown in that from the story he tells - but everything else is brilliant and he makes points you'll want to highlight.

This was a riveting one. The premise immediately intrigued me and didn't disappoint- a story told from a dead prostitute's perspective in chunks of time as her brain shuts down. People might have certain feelings about prostitution but Leila's life as it flashes by at the end is a story I think everyone can relate to in some way. 

This is true of a lot of fiction, but i love the bits of Turkish history and culture and descriptions of real places that were woven though. Shafak is especially skilled - she makes me want to visit and be a part of these communities. 

There is a helpful note to the reader on things that inspired the fiction (which was perfect because i had so many questions), a glossary and a photo of a significant setting included too.

Moving and horrifying. He does as he says he intends and tells the story of the bits of light and humanity that detainees found or created in the midst of the worst of human behavior - specialist-devised physical and psychological torture of innocent people for over a decade.

I'm not a regular listener to her podcast, so I came in not knowing too much about what to expect. The first sections on death and sex were okay, but the most helpful sections were the final ones dealing with money and power and identity - which end up being the dreaded political discussions/ fights so commonplace the last few years. 

This quote caught my attention: "A hurt man can be a handful. But a hurt man inspited by the conviction that he's owed something can be dangerous." It's something I've read in a few different contexts and is at the heart of domestic violence, school shootings, patriarchy, and white supremacy.

She talks about maybe in the talking to family section that we have competing needs to both distinguish ourselves from everyone else and also be heard, understood, and belong. Maybe this need for difference and sameness accounts for some of our arguments in religion and politics or what makes them feel so difficult to resolve sometimes. 

About 78% in she talks about a trans man named Liam who descibed two different purposes for speaking up, when he decided to. One is for calling out, making a record, telling what's wrong and why. Other times he'll tread carefully and meet them where they are in order to preserve a connection. That's such an important distinction that I've sometimes gotten tangled up - another source of difficulty and dissatisfaction with my political discussions. He also has a trip wire (i feel that) that signals its time to get out of that situation. I have used the different approaches for sure,  but i guess i thought it was closer to hypocrisy. I should stop in the moment, recognize or choose which is prudent and don't chain myself to the conversation like it's my sole duty to make them understand in this hour why a group deserves rights or humanity as much as they do.

At 79% in, i liked this, it explains so much:
"...in which we are listening to how others see the world and asking whether they can hear how our experience is different. Handling these conversations poorly can severely damage or even ruin a relationship. When we assume too much about what knowledge we share or leap into the fray to compare experiences that half rhyme, we can throw the whole outcome into jeopardy. Identity conversations are about creating space for differences."

At 88% in there's a really helpful section. Discussions of white privelige and male privelige - choosing to engage vs noting and moving on, examining our defensiveness when we are racist or sexist, niceness vs relationship to power.

"Noticing the ways privelige shapes your life is just the start. Next comes admitting and reconsidering the ways that privelige has shaped what you consider yourself entitled to and how you view others."

Really good book. When it started, I wasn't so sure, but this is incredibly relevant to what happened to so many in 2016 and various other upheavals, the breakdown of relationships, loneliness we experience and the dire need for introspection.