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emmareadstoomuch's reviews
2051 reviews
Illuminae by Amie Kaufman, Jay Kristoff
3.0
If The Martian and The Lunar Chronicles had a baby with a filing cabinet - presumably following a MAJOR and deeply disturbing genetic breakthrough - and that baby was cousins with The Cobra Event, then this is that.
https://emmareadstoomuch.wordpress.com/2017/04/17/illuminae-review/
I should probably take that paragraph out, for sheer coherency purposes, but I think it serves as a good warning for what this review is going to be like. I literally have no idea how I feel about this book. None. Zip. Zero. For everything wonderful about this that, like, transcended the parameters of YA or whatever, there was something so insanely typical it was like a fire ax to the gut. (Why do I insist upon making book references in every review? The same answer as most questions about me - I think I’m funny.) This book is like the cornballer from Arrested Development: on the one hand, delicious deep fried cornballs. On the other hand, THIRD DEGREE BURNS.
I mean, you can’t write a review of this guy without diving into how amazing the structure is. Insanely creative - chat logs, surveillance summaries, medical records. If you can flip through this book without smiling into an unseen camera, Parks and Recreation style, then I don’t want to know you. Example:
Wow, when I’m two for two on comedy TV show references you know it’s quite a review. But anyway, there are downsides to that structure. It’s impossible, absolutely, to get a full look at more than a handful of characters. I’d argue we get three: Kady, Ezra (kinda) and AIDAN. It works out well for them, but for everyone else it’s DETRIMENTAL. Impossible to tell whether people are good or not, or even get an understanding behind their decision making. Which is, you know, tiring.
Also, it makes the storyline really confusing. I’m still not 100% sure what happened. Like, the science(or quasi-science) is on the level of The Martian, but without all the explaining for plebeians like me. And at least The Martian takes place in our world! Worldbuilding is incredibly difficult when it’s done through 75% instant messaging. They should’ve thrown a few more Wikipedia articles in there.
I’ll just let this review be unstructuredsince this book has no problem with doing that and discuss characters now. First up: Ezra, who I maybe love. Kid’s got jokes! This book actually made me chuckle a bunch of times, which was fabulous because I never laugh at books. Anyway, Ezra was funny, so I liked him. There really wasn’t much more to him. Hopefully he gets more traits in Gemina, and I can determine if he’s getting added to my favorite male characters list. Even if his relationship with Kady was annoying and gag worthy 100% of the time. NOT EVERY YA BOOK HAS TO HAVE A ROMANCE 2K17 (Or they don't have to be so heteronormative. Read the lovely Sana's review for her ships from this book, which would TOTALLY BE BETTER.)
So yeah, uh, Kady. Oh, that YA trope of a girl so beautiful that every guy who sees her falls in love with her…why won’t you just f*cking die? Without spoiling anything, I’ll say that there are three dudes (?) in this book who fall so irrevocably in love with the girl that they are willing to die for her. Which is a f*cking lot. That’s not even including general compliments, of which there are an impressive amount considering the limited perspectives of this book.
Kady also has like, three different identities throughout this. Ooh, one for each of the men who loves her! I like the one she is in the very last chat log of the book - which is to say, a badass. All the others are an unrealistic level of strength/rebellion/mental cunning for an untrained, self-admittedly unathletic, supposedly normal adolescent girl. SHE NEVER EVEN EATS OR SLEEPS. Reality becomes totally suspended in the last half of this book.
Oh, but AIDAN just rocks. Is he a villain? I don’t know, but for the ease of writing this I’m going to say that he is. AND THERE HAS NEVER BEEN A BETTER VILLAIN. He’s so fun. I loved reading from his perspective - which was good, because that could happen for, like, a hundred pages at a time. Especially refreshing when I just wanted to shut Kady up for a freaking SECOND.
I just absolutely hated Byron, though. Some gross tech guy in his mid to late twenties deciding he's fallen in love with a seventeen year old trainee? Haven’t we all been there. Oh, we haven’t? That’s just a situation alarmingly similar to one I was in when I was seventeen? Got it. Cool. Either way, it’s f*cking creepy.
Anyways, as I see it, there are three unique plot twists in this story. Two are totally, full on predictable, in my opinion. (I’m not good at detecting plot twists so this is saying something.) One of them may have been intended to be predictable: The fact that But it being
Okay...I think I’ve just about covered my problems with it.Writing this review has been as exhausting as this book at its low points. Urgh, being negative is so much easier than being positive.
Let me try to explain the good parts of this book. The ones I haven’t touched on yet. One, it could be so CREEPY. And the creepiness was ingenious. Just done so well. I don’t normally like scary stuff, but I liked this for how smart it was. Also, ya gotta give this book props for how hard it must have been to write. And for coming up with AIDAN. It was just a fun and unique time. I’ll definitely pick up the sequel. (I’m having a hard time saying nice things. And it’s not because I didn’t like it. As Kady would say, “I’m so bad at this.”)
Bottom line: I’m not going to say whether to try this book or not. I can see why people really love it, but I can also see how it’s really, really possible not to. It’s an absolute Experience. I had fun with it.
https://emmareadstoomuch.wordpress.com/2017/04/17/illuminae-review/
I should probably take that paragraph out, for sheer coherency purposes, but I think it serves as a good warning for what this review is going to be like. I literally have no idea how I feel about this book. None. Zip. Zero. For everything wonderful about this that, like, transcended the parameters of YA or whatever, there was something so insanely typical it was like a fire ax to the gut. (Why do I insist upon making book references in every review? The same answer as most questions about me - I think I’m funny.) This book is like the cornballer from Arrested Development: on the one hand, delicious deep fried cornballs. On the other hand, THIRD DEGREE BURNS.
I mean, you can’t write a review of this guy without diving into how amazing the structure is. Insanely creative - chat logs, surveillance summaries, medical records. If you can flip through this book without smiling into an unseen camera, Parks and Recreation style, then I don’t want to know you. Example:
Wow, when I’m two for two on comedy TV show references you know it’s quite a review. But anyway, there are downsides to that structure. It’s impossible, absolutely, to get a full look at more than a handful of characters. I’d argue we get three: Kady, Ezra (kinda) and AIDAN. It works out well for them, but for everyone else it’s DETRIMENTAL. Impossible to tell whether people are good or not, or even get an understanding behind their decision making. Which is, you know, tiring.
Also, it makes the storyline really confusing. I’m still not 100% sure what happened. Like, the science
I’ll just let this review be unstructured
So yeah, uh, Kady. Oh, that YA trope of a girl so beautiful that every guy who sees her falls in love with her…why won’t you just f*cking die? Without spoiling anything, I’ll say that there are three dudes (?) in this book who fall so irrevocably in love with the girl that they are willing to die for her. Which is a f*cking lot. That’s not even including general compliments, of which there are an impressive amount considering the limited perspectives of this book.
Kady also has like, three different identities throughout this. Ooh, one for each of the men who loves her! I like the one she is in the very last chat log of the book - which is to say, a badass. All the others are an unrealistic level of strength/rebellion/mental cunning for an untrained, self-admittedly unathletic, supposedly normal adolescent girl. SHE NEVER EVEN EATS OR SLEEPS. Reality becomes totally suspended in the last half of this book.
Oh, but AIDAN just rocks. Is he a villain? I don’t know, but for the ease of writing this I’m going to say that he is. AND THERE HAS NEVER BEEN A BETTER VILLAIN.
Spoiler
I am so, so glad he survived, because he was just awesome.I just absolutely hated Byron, though. Some gross tech guy in his mid to late twenties deciding he's fallen in love with a seventeen year old trainee? Haven’t we all been there. Oh, we haven’t? That’s just a situation alarmingly similar to one I was in when I was seventeen? Got it. Cool. Either way, it’s f*cking creepy.
Anyways, as I see it, there are three unique plot twists in this story. Two are totally, full on predictable, in my opinion. (I’m not good at detecting plot twists so this is saying something.) One of them may have been intended to be predictable:
Spoiler
The fact that AIDAN was impersonating Ezra - was I the only one who noticed the personality difference? Especially that fuckin’ portrait.Spoiler
Ezra was never dead was SO obvious: one, of course AIDAN would lie, and two, no way would such a central character be given such a casual death.Spoiler
Ezra’s mom who was requesting the files was WILD. I loved it and did not see it coming AT ALL.Okay...I think I’ve just about covered my problems with it.
Let me try to explain the good parts of this book. The ones I haven’t touched on yet. One, it could be so CREEPY. And the creepiness was ingenious. Just done so well. I don’t normally like scary stuff, but I liked this for how smart it was. Also, ya gotta give this book props for how hard it must have been to write. And for coming up with AIDAN. It was just a fun and unique time. I’ll definitely pick up the sequel. (I’m having a hard time saying nice things. And it’s not because I didn’t like it. As Kady would say, “I’m so bad at this.”)
Bottom line: I’m not going to say whether to try this book or not. I can see why people really love it, but I can also see how it’s really, really possible not to. It’s an absolute Experience. I had fun with it.
Sense & Sensibility by Jane Austen, Nancy Butler
2.0
graphic novel binge read, installment 3: Okay, This Was Misguided, I Can Admit That
Jane Austen is my favorite author, and Sense & Sensibility is my least favorite of her books.
it's just, like, so eh. i like Elinor, but not Marianne. Colonel Brandon and Edward Ferrars are SO BORING. i would've liked it more if there was more of a sisterly emphasis. i just feel like everyone settled in the book and It Sucked. i love in Austen stuff when everything unrealistically and unforeseeably and perfectly comes together at the end, like a fairytale. and that doesn't happen here. even in the actual book, it feels confusing and forced to me.
anyway. when i saw my library had this adaptation, i was like, why not?
but this was So Boring. (at least the original isn't.) in addition to being my least favorite Austen, this may be the most difficult to adapt into a graphic novel, imo.
i don't know. i didn't like this at all. but it feels mean to give it 1 star so i'm not going to.
bottom line: nOT FOR ME, BBG.
Jane Austen is my favorite author, and Sense & Sensibility is my least favorite of her books.
it's just, like, so eh. i like Elinor, but not Marianne. Colonel Brandon and Edward Ferrars are SO BORING. i would've liked it more if there was more of a sisterly emphasis. i just feel like everyone settled in the book and It Sucked. i love in Austen stuff when everything unrealistically and unforeseeably and perfectly comes together at the end, like a fairytale. and that doesn't happen here. even in the actual book, it feels confusing and forced to me.
anyway. when i saw my library had this adaptation, i was like, why not?
but this was So Boring. (at least the original isn't.) in addition to being my least favorite Austen, this may be the most difficult to adapt into a graphic novel, imo.
i don't know. i didn't like this at all. but it feels mean to give it 1 star so i'm not going to.
bottom line: nOT FOR ME, BBG.
Mayhem by Jamie Shaw
3.0
my best friend and I were hanging out last night and discovered a mutual love for the occasional trashy guilty pleasure romance. so as soon as we got home (to our respective homes, not to one shared home, unfortunately, although that would be very fun and great and i would love it), she sent me the link to this book (in exchange for which i sent her info on the hating game, my favorite NA romance). anyway, i read this lil guy in about a sitting.
i love my best friend, and thus i enjoyed this book because she loves it. probably it's not perfect or something, but the whole experience was very fun for me (we live texted and snapchatted our reading experiences) and currently the book is inextricable from the experience.
i did pick up on some girl hating, though, but nothing worse than usual.
and also the lead guy is very hot.
i love my best friend, and thus i enjoyed this book because she loves it. probably it's not perfect or something, but the whole experience was very fun for me (we live texted and snapchatted our reading experiences) and currently the book is inextricable from the experience.
i did pick up on some girl hating, though, but nothing worse than usual.
and also the lead guy is very hot.
Open Road Summer by Emery Lord
1.0
Storytime!
When I was in middle school, I had a massive Justin Bieber phase immediately followed by a quick but passionate love of One Direction. Since I was on a reading sabbatical and was in middle school, I fangirled like it was my job. I’m talking 40 hours a week. Full time career. You’ve gotta be prepared at all times when you’re a huge fan - HEAVEN forbid another fan challenge you to name Bieber’s birthday and you don’t have it down to the second. And thank God I’ve forgotten it by now. Oh, wait, I should say:
https://emmareadstoomuch.wordpress.com/2017/03/22/open-road-summer-review/
Anyway. When I wasn’t, like, making flashcards with Zayn Malik’s birthday on them, I was reading fanfiction. And the best ones were always the ones that took place on tour. Ahhh. I remember them so fondly. The main girl is the opener, or the makeup artist, or the manager’s second cousin’s best friend or whatever. SO GOOD.
So. Why am I talking about this, you ask? Well, that’s because the only difference between this book and something I could dig up on OneDirectionFanFiction.com is that I’m not 13 anymore. And this doesn’t have any of the charm.
Our guy in this book, Matt, could never face off with a fictionalized version of the Biebs (is that a thing?), or Harry Styles, or a massively upcycled version of one of the guys from One Direction who isn’t Harry or Zayn. He’s boring. (Matt, I mean. Not one of the One Direction guys. Although them too, to be honest.) I’m not a fan. I really don’t know what to say beyond that.
Even the storyline of this is IDENTICAL to the fanfiction I would read. Boy and girl (Matt and Reagan, respectively) are on tour, girl pretends to hate boy while he “““jokingly””” hits on her, they kiss, they start dating, there’s a grand romantic gesture on the tour’s off day, things seem perfect, and absolutely everything ends happily forever. And don’t forget the inevitable best friend fight (in this case between Reagan and the famous one, Delilah/Dee/Lilah.) There’s even a moment where Matt applies to a college and gets in within the span of two weeks. IT’S LIKE A FAIRYTALE. Oh, fanfiction.
But unfortunately, those similarities are far from the worst part of this book. If only that were the case, I could’ve written “Justin” wherever it said Matt and given this three, three and a half stars on nostalgia alone. Unfortunately I’M NEVER ALLOWED TO LIKE ANYTHING. Gods of Goodreads, please amend this.
The girl on girl hate in this book is so damaging. I couldn’t even keep track of it at a certain point. Up until page 80 or so, I was having a great time with this...and then suddenly: SLUT SHAMING. FULL FORCE. ALL HANDS ON DECK. Then that expanded into general girls hating each other. Maybe one of the worst contemporary tropes.
I was caught off guard. Especially because this book advertises itself as centering on girl on girl friendship, which usually ensures a book that doesn’t involve BLATANT ANTIFEMINISM. But alas, I was not safe. Here, I brought quotes.
Like, seriously. Once I started collecting them, I couldn’t stop. A girl can’t make eye contact with our ever-so-lovely protagonist without Reagan’s infuriating internal monologue commenting on her clothes, or insulting her appearance. Or, above all, slut shaming her. I can’t remember if my fanfiction days were like this, because I was IGNORANT then. But bad news for this book:
I’m just going to quote dump. Here we go. Don’t say I didn’t warn you:
1. When an innocent girl is innocently dancing with Matt while, God forbid, Reagan has an unspoken crush on him: "I survey her appearance, which is so obvious—long hair in full curls, skintight dress, and stacked heels. This look is amateur, the one I'd resort to if I was feeling lazy. I thought Matt had better taste than that." The best part is that our Reagan literally wears shorts and a tank top every day. Did someone say fashion icon???
2. After Reagan cyberstalks and shit talks Matt’s past girlfriends: "Basically what I'm saying is I think I could give either of those girls a run for their money."
3. In which a fan approaches Matt politely and Reagan tears her a new one: "The band is winding down when a girl zeroes in on us—or, more specifically, Matt. She's compact and curvy, topped with round curls that must have taken some serious hot rollers. Her hair dye is probably called Goldenrod or Honeysuckle, but it's actually the color of Aging Butter or Dry Cornbread."
4. When Reagan hits a new low - I gasped aloud - and equates anything that isn’t colonial America style modesty with self-hatred: "There are a few girls in the front with shirts cut so low that they make my neckline look modest. Like, honestly — if Matt so much as glanced down he could probably see all the way to their belly buttons. Some girls have no self-respect, and even though they can't see me, I make a face of disgust. Case in point: if Matt and I were together, I'd have to put those girls in their places. And I really can't afford another misdemeanor." Yes, please fight girls because they’re wearing shirts that aren’t turtlenecks and managed to get good seats to see their favorite performer! America thanks you! Hero’s work!
5. The gorgeous, elegant, late-in-the-game appearance of America’s least favorite trope: "God," he mutters. "Most girls love it when I write them a song."
"Well, I am not most girls," I snap at him.
6. Looking at a picture of her boyfriend’s best friend: "She looks… Wholesome. And friendly. Like a Muppet." Girlfriend GOALS, am I right?
7. In case we didn’t have enough sweeping generalizations: "When a baby starts screaming in public, most women jut out their lower lips and say "Aww, somebody's sad."" I LOVE when people tell me about most women!
8. "I'd be pissed, too, if I was caught standing next to Alexis Henderson, who is a cheerleader but also a goody goody." Now this is just unnecessary. Like, what does this mean? What does that have to do with it? Can anyone explain this to me? I’m still confused.
9. "But, of course, it's easy to like any girl who's not part of your world. The moment she slides into an ex-boyfriend's orbit, we all have the same instinct: destroy." Oh right, of course! Because hating other women is NORMAL!
10. In which she makes fun of Matt’s best friend because he is TOTALLY off limits to any girl’s prying, slutty eyes, even his heartbroken BFF’s: "I close my eyes, almost a wince. Yeah, poor girl, breakups are rough, boo-hoo. But this is the same girl Matt said he loves. Used to love. Whatever."
11. "I'm not jealous. I'm… Annoyed. I know girls like her. As soon as Matt's not around, the gloves will come off." Yay! Because girls come in kinds!
But we’re not done. No, the characters suck. CLEARLY, Reagan is a tumor upon humanity, and we’re stuck inside her head for 350 pages. Kill. Me. How did I finish this book? Anyway, that’s not the only reason she sucks. (Although it’s the biggest, obviously. How much worse can you get? She didn’t murder anyone...that I’m aware of. *insert Law & Order dun-dun here*)
She’s also super vain. (There is a difference between vain and confident. One is good and one is bad. For this review, at least, the difference is whether you try to build others up or just yourself.) There’s a moment where she refuses to laugh at her best friend’s joke because she wants to look prettyyyyy on national TV. COME ON.
Alright, I’m done with the Law & Order-themed gifs. I don’t even watch that show. Beyond that moment of vanity, Reagan talks about how she’s pretty all the time. But I like when girls compliment themselves (ain’t it tough, ladies? #society) so I’m not going to press it. She is also a straight up bad friend to Dee. Despite her attempts to tell the reader otherwise, there’s a weird anger toward Dee’s fame going on throughout the whole thing. I’m not a fan. SUPPORT. OTHER. GIRLS. REAGAN.
I already talked about how boring Matt is. Beyond that...Dee is bubblegum sweet. Nothing else to her. And there are literally no other characters. This book made me stir crazy. Props to Emery Lord for making me really feel like I was trapped on tour with the same unchanging people and COULD NOT ESCAPE NO MATTER WHAT. Wait, what? That’s not the point of the book?
Otherwise...there’s a weird thing where people call Dee “little lady” all the time. Didn’t like that. Is that a thing, people who may be reading this who are from the Southern United States?
Aw! I googled little lady and Shirley Temple came up! Cute! Okay I need to be done now.
Bottom line: It all comes down to how vicious the girl hating is in this book. Emery Lord, I’m giving you one more try, since I already own The Start of Me and You. BUT I’M NOT HAPPY ABOUT IT.
When I was in middle school, I had a massive Justin Bieber phase immediately followed by a quick but passionate love of One Direction. Since I was on a reading sabbatical and was in middle school, I fangirled like it was my job. I’m talking 40 hours a week. Full time career. You’ve gotta be prepared at all times when you’re a huge fan - HEAVEN forbid another fan challenge you to name Bieber’s birthday and you don’t have it down to the second. And thank God I’ve forgotten it by now. Oh, wait, I should say:
https://emmareadstoomuch.wordpress.com/2017/03/22/open-road-summer-review/
Anyway. When I wasn’t, like, making flashcards with Zayn Malik’s birthday on them, I was reading fanfiction. And the best ones were always the ones that took place on tour. Ahhh. I remember them so fondly. The main girl is the opener, or the makeup artist, or the manager’s second cousin’s best friend or whatever. SO GOOD.
So. Why am I talking about this, you ask? Well, that’s because the only difference between this book and something I could dig up on OneDirectionFanFiction.com is that I’m not 13 anymore. And this doesn’t have any of the charm.
Our guy in this book, Matt, could never face off with a fictionalized version of the Biebs (is that a thing?), or Harry Styles, or a massively upcycled version of one of the guys from One Direction who isn’t Harry or Zayn. He’s boring. (Matt, I mean. Not one of the One Direction guys. Although them too, to be honest.) I’m not a fan. I really don’t know what to say beyond that.
Even the storyline of this is IDENTICAL to the fanfiction I would read. Boy and girl (Matt and Reagan, respectively) are on tour, girl pretends to hate boy while he “““jokingly””” hits on her, they kiss, they start dating, there’s a grand romantic gesture on the tour’s off day, things seem perfect,
Spoiler
he cheats on her, it’s not what it looks like, he wins her back with another grand, musical gestureBut unfortunately, those similarities are far from the worst part of this book. If only that were the case, I could’ve written “Justin” wherever it said Matt and given this three, three and a half stars on nostalgia alone. Unfortunately I’M NEVER ALLOWED TO LIKE ANYTHING. Gods of Goodreads, please amend this.
The girl on girl hate in this book is so damaging. I couldn’t even keep track of it at a certain point. Up until page 80 or so, I was having a great time with this...and then suddenly: SLUT SHAMING. FULL FORCE. ALL HANDS ON DECK. Then that expanded into general girls hating each other. Maybe one of the worst contemporary tropes.
I was caught off guard. Especially because this book advertises itself as centering on girl on girl friendship, which usually ensures a book that doesn’t involve BLATANT ANTIFEMINISM. But alas, I was not safe. Here, I brought quotes.
Like, seriously. Once I started collecting them, I couldn’t stop. A girl can’t make eye contact with our ever-so-lovely protagonist without Reagan’s infuriating internal monologue commenting on her clothes, or insulting her appearance. Or, above all, slut shaming her. I can’t remember if my fanfiction days were like this, because I was IGNORANT then. But bad news for this book:
I’m just going to quote dump. Here we go. Don’t say I didn’t warn you:
1. When an innocent girl is innocently dancing with Matt while, God forbid, Reagan has an unspoken crush on him: "I survey her appearance, which is so obvious—long hair in full curls, skintight dress, and stacked heels. This look is amateur, the one I'd resort to if I was feeling lazy. I thought Matt had better taste than that." The best part is that our Reagan literally wears shorts and a tank top every day. Did someone say fashion icon???
2. After Reagan cyberstalks and shit talks Matt’s past girlfriends: "Basically what I'm saying is I think I could give either of those girls a run for their money."
3. In which a fan approaches Matt politely and Reagan tears her a new one: "The band is winding down when a girl zeroes in on us—or, more specifically, Matt. She's compact and curvy, topped with round curls that must have taken some serious hot rollers. Her hair dye is probably called Goldenrod or Honeysuckle, but it's actually the color of Aging Butter or Dry Cornbread."
4. When Reagan hits a new low - I gasped aloud - and equates anything that isn’t colonial America style modesty with self-hatred: "There are a few girls in the front with shirts cut so low that they make my neckline look modest. Like, honestly — if Matt so much as glanced down he could probably see all the way to their belly buttons. Some girls have no self-respect, and even though they can't see me, I make a face of disgust. Case in point: if Matt and I were together, I'd have to put those girls in their places. And I really can't afford another misdemeanor." Yes, please fight girls because they’re wearing shirts that aren’t turtlenecks and managed to get good seats to see their favorite performer! America thanks you! Hero’s work!
5. The gorgeous, elegant, late-in-the-game appearance of America’s least favorite trope: "God," he mutters. "Most girls love it when I write them a song."
"Well, I am not most girls," I snap at him.
6. Looking at a picture of her boyfriend’s best friend: "She looks… Wholesome. And friendly. Like a Muppet." Girlfriend GOALS, am I right?
7. In case we didn’t have enough sweeping generalizations: "When a baby starts screaming in public, most women jut out their lower lips and say "Aww, somebody's sad."" I LOVE when people tell me about most women!
8. "I'd be pissed, too, if I was caught standing next to Alexis Henderson, who is a cheerleader but also a goody goody." Now this is just unnecessary. Like, what does this mean? What does that have to do with it? Can anyone explain this to me? I’m still confused.
9. "But, of course, it's easy to like any girl who's not part of your world. The moment she slides into an ex-boyfriend's orbit, we all have the same instinct: destroy." Oh right, of course! Because hating other women is NORMAL!
10. In which she makes fun of Matt’s best friend because he is TOTALLY off limits to any girl’s prying, slutty eyes, even his heartbroken BFF’s: "I close my eyes, almost a wince. Yeah, poor girl, breakups are rough, boo-hoo. But this is the same girl Matt said he loves. Used to love. Whatever."
11. "I'm not jealous. I'm… Annoyed. I know girls like her. As soon as Matt's not around, the gloves will come off." Yay! Because girls come in kinds!
But we’re not done. No, the characters suck. CLEARLY, Reagan is a tumor upon humanity, and we’re stuck inside her head for 350 pages. Kill. Me. How did I finish this book? Anyway, that’s not the only reason she sucks. (Although it’s the biggest, obviously. How much worse can you get? She didn’t murder anyone...that I’m aware of. *insert Law & Order dun-dun here*)
She’s also super vain. (There is a difference between vain and confident. One is good and one is bad. For this review, at least, the difference is whether you try to build others up or just yourself.) There’s a moment where she refuses to laugh at her best friend’s joke because she wants to look prettyyyyy on national TV. COME ON.
Alright, I’m done with the Law & Order-themed gifs. I don’t even watch that show. Beyond that moment of vanity, Reagan talks about how she’s pretty all the time. But I like when girls compliment themselves (ain’t it tough, ladies? #society) so I’m not going to press it. She is also a straight up bad friend to Dee. Despite her attempts to tell the reader otherwise, there’s a weird anger toward Dee’s fame going on throughout the whole thing. I’m not a fan. SUPPORT. OTHER. GIRLS. REAGAN.
I already talked about how boring Matt is. Beyond that...Dee is bubblegum sweet. Nothing else to her. And there are literally no other characters. This book made me stir crazy. Props to Emery Lord for making me really feel like I was trapped on tour with the same unchanging people and COULD NOT ESCAPE NO MATTER WHAT. Wait, what? That’s not the point of the book?
Otherwise...there’s a weird thing where people call Dee “little lady” all the time. Didn’t like that. Is that a thing, people who may be reading this who are from the Southern United States?
Aw! I googled little lady and Shirley Temple came up! Cute! Okay I need to be done now.
Bottom line: It all comes down to how vicious the girl hating is in this book. Emery Lord, I’m giving you one more try, since I already own The Start of Me and You. BUT I’M NOT HAPPY ABOUT IT.
The Phantom Tollbooth by Norton Juster
5.0
Is this the cleverest book of all time? I think this is the cleverest book of all time.
I so deeply enjoyed rereading this. When I was younger, I would only keep books that I would reread over and over - and I would pick up each one, seriously, an average of 4 to 6 times. I believe this absolute insanity is why I was unable to reread for the subsequent, like, 6 years. But now we're BACK. And it's been a mixed bag, but rereading this was just the greatest.
There were so many puns and allusions and metaphors I didn't understand the first (eleven) times I read it, so they made rereading this like a whole new experience. I read it in a sitting! It was such a blast.
And - it thrills me to be able to state - THAT SETTING THOUGH!!!!! God, I want to drop a visit to the Lands Beyond so badly. Don't you guys wish you could jump into books, just for a hot second? Or, at the very least, a mysterious tollbooth would be given to you to grant you passage into a mysterious kingdom filled with puns. I mean, come on.
This is only going to be a mini review because I don't even know how much I can joke about this book. I have a major soft spot for it, okay?! We all have our things.
Bottom line: Totally give this book a try. It's compelling, and clever, and short, and the characters are so cute, and the setting is so fascinating and creative and fun and amazing, and the whole thing will stick to ya like glue. I'll never be able to escape this book, and I'm not mad about it.
I so deeply enjoyed rereading this. When I was younger, I would only keep books that I would reread over and over - and I would pick up each one, seriously, an average of 4 to 6 times. I believe this absolute insanity is why I was unable to reread for the subsequent, like, 6 years. But now we're BACK. And it's been a mixed bag, but rereading this was just the greatest.
There were so many puns and allusions and metaphors I didn't understand the first (eleven) times I read it, so they made rereading this like a whole new experience. I read it in a sitting! It was such a blast.
And - it thrills me to be able to state - THAT SETTING THOUGH!!!!! God, I want to drop a visit to the Lands Beyond so badly. Don't you guys wish you could jump into books, just for a hot second? Or, at the very least, a mysterious tollbooth would be given to you to grant you passage into a mysterious kingdom filled with puns. I mean, come on.
This is only going to be a mini review because I don't even know how much I can joke about this book. I have a major soft spot for it, okay?! We all have our things.
Bottom line: Totally give this book a try. It's compelling, and clever, and short, and the characters are so cute, and the setting is so fascinating and creative and fun and amazing, and the whole thing will stick to ya like glue. I'll never be able to escape this book, and I'm not mad about it.
The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton
3.0
this book is acclaimed for being accessible to non-readers, and i feel as though that's why i couldn't get completely into it. when i applied my normal contemporary-esque questions to the text (is this realistic? do i like this character? etc.) it seemed like the book itself was surprised i was asking. it's more of a movie than a book, and (perhaps bizarrely) i'm not huge on movies anyway.
Isla and the Happily Ever After by Stephanie Perkins
1.0
It is with great pride and deep sadness I present to you, the three stages of rereading Isla and the Happily Ever After.
https://emmareadstoomuch.wordpress.com/2017/06/21/isla-and-the-happily-ever-after-review/
Stage one: hope.
Stage two: anger.
Stage three: depression.
How do I even explain to you how excited I was to reread this?! I’ll try, I guess. Gotta ~set the scene~.
Anna and the French Kiss is THE guilty pleasure book for me. I’ve read it probably 3 times, and it still makes me feel all lovey-dovey whenever I pick it up. (That feeling rarelyyyy happens even on a first read.)
So why was I excited to dive back into this one? BECAUSE WHEN I FIRST READ ISLA, I WENT AROUND SAYING IT WAS ONLY INFINITESIMALLY WORSE THAN ANNA. What a goddamn crime. I’d like to formally apologize.
Anyway. So, recently, in my reread bonanza, I was all, How have I not reread Isla? If it’s almost as good, what’s stopping me?
And I eagerly picked it up.
ONLY TO BE DEALT THE MOST CRUSHING BLOW OF ALL TIME. It’s the surprise that hurts the most. I was fully defenseless. Like, @Stephanie Perkins:
I expected a swoony romance and immersive images of Europe and New York and a fun protagonist and a crush-worthy love interest. Just a fun, flirty, fluffy time. Instead, I got insta-love and a really annoying girl and repetitive plotlines and meh settings and general ickiness and an actually kind-of-okay guy, and even HE seemed confused as to how he didn’t get a better book.
But we’ll get to all that. Strap in for a long and bumpy ride, mes amis.
The biggest offense of all might exist entirely in my mind, but I f*cking hate when YA books pander to their audiences. I’m talking fantasy protagonists who loooove to read, or Twilight-esque series wherein a supernaturally hot (get it?) guy falls in love with an Average Girl. And I got a hell of a lot of those vibes from this book.
We follow Isla, who has had an unrequited crush on Josh for three f*cking years. (Very tragic.) Despite sitting next to him in many classes, when this book begins, she has interacted with him twice. Two times. Deux fois. One, two. That’s it. That’s the foundation for love we’re working with.
But that’s not what really angers me. (Well, it is, but we’ll get to that later.)
What ANGERS me is that Isla has had this crush for three years, and then it turns out HER CRUSH LIKED HER BACK ALL ALONG. How magical. Almost...fictional, wouldn’t you say? But anyway, Isla is also deeply insecure. Deeply insecure, and stuck in unrequited love? Sound like anyone you know? To me, it sounds like a stereotype of the target audience of this book. And using what you believe to be the secret dreams of teenage girls in order to sell copies?
But my deep-rooted pessimism and distrust of The System is showing, so I’ll move on.
I didn’t even get the swoony romance I wanted! I got insta-love. Josh (the subject of the aforementioned millennia-long crush) and Isla were Official™ within, like, fifty pages. It was totally insta-lovey. Because, again, Josh liked her alllll alongggg, you guys. That’s why they never talked for three years. Because they were so totally overcome with love.
But I want to rant about Isla for about a thousand words, if you’ll allow me. (Just kidding. You couldn’t stop me if you tried.)
Isla is...what’s the word?...oh, yes. THE WORST. Being trapped inside of her head for hundreds of pages was the most horrific fate I could possibly imagine.
Isla’s entire stupid life (or lack thereof) revolves around Josh. It did before they ever even, like, made eye contact for more than .25 seconds, and it gets even worse after. I can’t even believe this is a narrative with a 4.11 rating on Goodreads. I can’t believe I gave this five stars just a couple years ago!
Okay, so, let me take you through this. Isla is the #1 student in her class - but only, she makes clear, because she has nothing better to do. (In other words, before she has Josh to do.) Isla has no ambitions, no top choice school, no clue what she wants to do in the future.
Which is fine. It’s not your fault if you don’t know what you want to do yet. I’d argue that you should still, like, care about figuring out whether you want to go to college, or at least finding one you can attend. But whatever.
But...the second Josh moseys on into the picture, she has a plan. Guess whose plan? Yes. Josh’s plan. Josh suggests a plan, based entirely on her following him to HIS plan, and she just goes with that. (How many times can I say the word “plan”?)
By the end of the book, Isla still has no clue what her major will be. She just knows she’s living with Joshy. And that they’ll “never be apart again.” Which, gross.
But it all leads me to the question: WHO THE HELL IS ISLA?
She has no ambitions and no dreams. All I know about her is that she reads adventure books, and she HARDCORE likes Josh. (Hopefully clear by now that this is a toxic level of adoration, IMO.) I would say that she’s smart, but it’s later revealed that no, Josh is smarter than she is, he’s just toooo cool to try. BECAUSE OF COURSE.
To finish up why Isla is the worst for all time forever, I gotta delve into the plot. So after one or two hundred pages of happy-happy-joy-joy, some drama happens. Obviously. I won’t go into specifics, but it’s hardly even a spoiler to say they break up at one point. And it’s like instant regret and months of heartache and whatever.
So obviously, we’re supposed to root for them to get back together and be all, “You two are so silly for breaking up!!!” I know this for two reasons: one, it’s a YA contemporary, and 2) that’s how literally every single character reacts.
I’m sure you can guess what I’m going to say next.
It’s that I fully wasn’t rooting for them.
Here’s the thing. The reasons for their breakup are really legit. Like, yeah-just-stay-apart levels of legit. Isla argues that she’s a placeholder in Josh’s life because his friends left and he likes the feeling of being in love. And I was all, ...Oh. Like, that adds up.
This book can never decide whether Josh did or didn’t love his last girlfriend, but I think he did. He certainly was into that bod. And he sometimes acts like a total scumbag to Isla, which doesn’t exactly make me think that it’s a whole different breed of relationship.
So...do you understand why I cringed every time they said they were going to be together foreverrrrr?
And then, when the time rollssss around for Isla’s mind to be changed, just in time for the dumb old Happily Ever After the title promises...nothing changes. Some girl (who we pointlessly hear about all the time) tells Isla the reason is she’s good for Josh is that she’s “soft” and won’t prevent him from f*cking around all the time. Which is an obviously terrible foundation for a relationship. That may change Isla’s mind, for some reason, but it does NOTHING FOR MINE.
THEY’RE SO CLEARLY INCOMPATIBLE. WHAT THE HELL.
I should’ve written this review exclusively using Gordon Ramsay GIFs.
Anyway. I kinda like Josh. He’s funny and passionate and smart. Even if he’s a total d*ckweed sometimes. I JUST DON’T LIKE THEIR RELATIONSHIP AT ALL. At the best of times, they’re icky and obsessed with each other. All other times, THEY TREAT EACH OTHER LIKE SH*T. Ugh. Some romance. Relationship GOALS! Two people who bring out the worst in each other.
On top of all of that hatred I just described, the ending scene I loved so much the first time (with the cameos from Anna and Étienne) felt really cringey and forced this time around. And none of the settings felt real, like they did in the first book.
And the plot was just so repetitive. “Isla loves Josh. Josh loves Isla now, and, guess what, he always did! They are happy. Now there is drama! Now they are happy again. Now there is drama! Now they are happy (forever after, presumably).” The same characters were cycled through in the same way: Kurt, Hattie, the other sister, the ex-friend whose name I forget. Then throw in some cameos from, you know, actually likable characters at the end, cross your fingers and hope your readers fall for it!
It’s not an interesting plot. Like, at all. This oft-quoted line sums it up: “There's no story,' I say. 'I saw you one day, and I just knew.”
Yeah, okay. But do you see how that’s not good for a book?
How tragic for you, Isla and Josh, that life doesn’t just up and allow you to be together. That you start off the book as minors and have responsibilities to your education. That your parents’ money can’t BUY YOU OUT OF THE REPERCUSSIONS OF LEAVING THE COUNTRY SO YOU CAN F*CK EACH OTHER.
God. I need to stop. I can’t remember a time before I was writing this review.
Bottom line: instalove, boring plot, intolerable protagonist, more bad things. I AM VERY UPSET.
https://emmareadstoomuch.wordpress.com/2017/06/21/isla-and-the-happily-ever-after-review/
Stage one: hope.
Stage two: anger.
Stage three: depression.
How do I even explain to you how excited I was to reread this?! I’ll try, I guess. Gotta ~set the scene~.
Anna and the French Kiss is THE guilty pleasure book for me. I’ve read it probably 3 times, and it still makes me feel all lovey-dovey whenever I pick it up. (That feeling rarelyyyy happens even on a first read.)
So why was I excited to dive back into this one? BECAUSE WHEN I FIRST READ ISLA, I WENT AROUND SAYING IT WAS ONLY INFINITESIMALLY WORSE THAN ANNA. What a goddamn crime. I’d like to formally apologize.
Anyway. So, recently, in my reread bonanza, I was all, How have I not reread Isla? If it’s almost as good, what’s stopping me?
And I eagerly picked it up.
ONLY TO BE DEALT THE MOST CRUSHING BLOW OF ALL TIME. It’s the surprise that hurts the most. I was fully defenseless. Like, @Stephanie Perkins:
I expected a swoony romance and immersive images of Europe and New York and a fun protagonist and a crush-worthy love interest. Just a fun, flirty, fluffy time. Instead, I got insta-love and a really annoying girl and repetitive plotlines and meh settings and general ickiness and an actually kind-of-okay guy, and even HE seemed confused as to how he didn’t get a better book.
But we’ll get to all that. Strap in for a long and bumpy ride, mes amis.
The biggest offense of all might exist entirely in my mind, but I f*cking hate when YA books pander to their audiences. I’m talking fantasy protagonists who loooove to read, or Twilight-esque series wherein a supernaturally hot (get it?) guy falls in love with an Average Girl. And I got a hell of a lot of those vibes from this book.
We follow Isla, who has had an unrequited crush on Josh for three f*cking years. (Very tragic.) Despite sitting next to him in many classes, when this book begins, she has interacted with him twice. Two times. Deux fois. One, two. That’s it. That’s the foundation for love we’re working with.
But that’s not what really angers me. (Well, it is, but we’ll get to that later.)
What ANGERS me is that Isla has had this crush for three years, and then it turns out HER CRUSH LIKED HER BACK ALL ALONG. How magical. Almost...fictional, wouldn’t you say? But anyway, Isla is also deeply insecure. Deeply insecure, and stuck in unrequited love? Sound like anyone you know? To me, it sounds like a stereotype of the target audience of this book. And using what you believe to be the secret dreams of teenage girls in order to sell copies?
But my deep-rooted pessimism and distrust of The System is showing, so I’ll move on.
I didn’t even get the swoony romance I wanted! I got insta-love. Josh (the subject of the aforementioned millennia-long crush) and Isla were Official™ within, like, fifty pages. It was totally insta-lovey. Because, again, Josh liked her alllll alongggg, you guys. That’s why they never talked for three years. Because they were so totally overcome with love.
But I want to rant about Isla for about a thousand words, if you’ll allow me. (Just kidding. You couldn’t stop me if you tried.)
Isla is...what’s the word?...oh, yes. THE WORST. Being trapped inside of her head for hundreds of pages was the most horrific fate I could possibly imagine.
Isla’s entire stupid life (or lack thereof) revolves around Josh. It did before they ever even, like, made eye contact for more than .25 seconds, and it gets even worse after. I can’t even believe this is a narrative with a 4.11 rating on Goodreads. I can’t believe I gave this five stars just a couple years ago!
Okay, so, let me take you through this. Isla is the #1 student in her class - but only, she makes clear, because she has nothing better to do. (In other words, before she has Josh to do.) Isla has no ambitions, no top choice school, no clue what she wants to do in the future.
Which is fine. It’s not your fault if you don’t know what you want to do yet. I’d argue that you should still, like, care about figuring out whether you want to go to college, or at least finding one you can attend. But whatever.
But...the second Josh moseys on into the picture, she has a plan. Guess whose plan? Yes. Josh’s plan. Josh suggests a plan, based entirely on her following him to HIS plan, and she just goes with that. (How many times can I say the word “plan”?)
By the end of the book, Isla still has no clue what her major will be. She just knows she’s living with Joshy. And that they’ll “never be apart again.” Which, gross.
But it all leads me to the question: WHO THE HELL IS ISLA?
She has no ambitions and no dreams. All I know about her is that she reads adventure books, and she HARDCORE likes Josh. (Hopefully clear by now that this is a toxic level of adoration, IMO.) I would say that she’s smart, but it’s later revealed that no, Josh is smarter than she is, he’s just toooo cool to try. BECAUSE OF COURSE.
To finish up why Isla is the worst for all time forever, I gotta delve into the plot. So after one or two hundred pages of happy-happy-joy-joy, some drama happens. Obviously. I won’t go into specifics, but it’s hardly even a spoiler to say they break up at one point. And it’s like instant regret and months of heartache and whatever.
So obviously, we’re supposed to root for them to get back together and be all, “You two are so silly for breaking up!!!” I know this for two reasons: one, it’s a YA contemporary, and 2) that’s how literally every single character reacts.
I’m sure you can guess what I’m going to say next.
It’s that I fully wasn’t rooting for them.
Here’s the thing. The reasons for their breakup are really legit. Like, yeah-just-stay-apart levels of legit. Isla argues that she’s a placeholder in Josh’s life because his friends left and he likes the feeling of being in love. And I was all, ...Oh. Like, that adds up.
This book can never decide whether Josh did or didn’t love his last girlfriend, but I think he did. He certainly was into that bod. And he sometimes acts like a total scumbag to Isla, which doesn’t exactly make me think that it’s a whole different breed of relationship.
So...do you understand why I cringed every time they said they were going to be together foreverrrrr?
And then, when the time rollssss around for Isla’s mind to be changed, just in time for the dumb old Happily Ever After the title promises...nothing changes. Some girl (who we pointlessly hear about all the time) tells Isla the reason is she’s good for Josh is that she’s “soft” and won’t prevent him from f*cking around all the time. Which is an obviously terrible foundation for a relationship. That may change Isla’s mind, for some reason, but it does NOTHING FOR MINE.
THEY’RE SO CLEARLY INCOMPATIBLE. WHAT THE HELL.
I should’ve written this review exclusively using Gordon Ramsay GIFs.
Anyway. I kinda like Josh. He’s funny and passionate and smart. Even if he’s a total d*ckweed sometimes. I JUST DON’T LIKE THEIR RELATIONSHIP AT ALL. At the best of times, they’re icky and obsessed with each other. All other times, THEY TREAT EACH OTHER LIKE SH*T. Ugh. Some romance. Relationship GOALS! Two people who bring out the worst in each other.
On top of all of that hatred I just described, the ending scene I loved so much the first time (with the cameos from Anna and Étienne) felt really cringey and forced this time around. And none of the settings felt real, like they did in the first book.
And the plot was just so repetitive. “Isla loves Josh. Josh loves Isla now, and, guess what, he always did! They are happy. Now there is drama! Now they are happy again. Now there is drama! Now they are happy (forever after, presumably).” The same characters were cycled through in the same way: Kurt, Hattie, the other sister, the ex-friend whose name I forget. Then throw in some cameos from, you know, actually likable characters at the end, cross your fingers and hope your readers fall for it!
It’s not an interesting plot. Like, at all. This oft-quoted line sums it up: “There's no story,' I say. 'I saw you one day, and I just knew.”
Yeah, okay. But do you see how that’s not good for a book?
How tragic for you, Isla and Josh, that life doesn’t just up and allow you to be together. That you start off the book as minors and have responsibilities to your education. That your parents’ money can’t BUY YOU OUT OF THE REPERCUSSIONS OF LEAVING THE COUNTRY SO YOU CAN F*CK EACH OTHER.
God. I need to stop. I can’t remember a time before I was writing this review.
Bottom line: instalove, boring plot, intolerable protagonist, more bad things. I AM VERY UPSET.
The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain
2.0
Typical mini-review for classics...reread's got me pulling it down a star.
I've got to admit it: I skipped huge swaths of this the second time around. Even though I was reading it for a class. Even though said class is participation-based. I honestly just winged it. It worked out, whatever.
ANYWAY, this book was so. Much. Worse. This time.
Here's how I looked the first time I read it:
versus this time:
Dear Mr. Twain, did you think it took a lot of balls to write an anti-slavery book two decades after slavery was abolished? Were your uses of the N-word and offensive stereotypes in the name of modernity?
And how about your female "characters"? Were they boring sexual objects because you're just that progressive? The only halfway interesting one is f*cking dead.
The Adventures of Tom Sawyer is so, so much better than this. I don't even want to dwell on this anymore.
Bottom line: the only reason I'm not giving it 1 star (& instead am lowering it to 2) is that I feel I didn't even read enough of it. In other words - f*ck this.
I've got to admit it: I skipped huge swaths of this the second time around. Even though I was reading it for a class. Even though said class is participation-based. I honestly just winged it. It worked out, whatever.
ANYWAY, this book was so. Much. Worse. This time.
Here's how I looked the first time I read it:
versus this time:
Dear Mr. Twain, did you think it took a lot of balls to write an anti-slavery book two decades after slavery was abolished? Were your uses of the N-word and offensive stereotypes in the name of modernity?
And how about your female "characters"? Were they boring sexual objects because you're just that progressive? The only halfway interesting one is f*cking dead.
The Adventures of Tom Sawyer is so, so much better than this. I don't even want to dwell on this anymore.
Bottom line: the only reason I'm not giving it 1 star (& instead am lowering it to 2) is that I feel I didn't even read enough of it. In other words - f*ck this.
A Midsummer Night's Dream by William Shakespeare
3.0
mini-review, as I do for classics:
this was my first time reading Shakespeare on my own, and I kind of...saw that as a negative. I like discussing Shakespeare in a classroom setting, and being motivated to mark up the text and otherwise process it fully. I felt like I missed out on stuff here.
also, this play felt so short. maybe it's my edition's fault, for being 111 pages. maybe it's how abrupt the ending was (which is very). or how flat the characters were, or how there were a sh*t ton of them. long story short, it's not my fave Shakespeare.
all that being said, this was very readable and funny at some points. I think this is one of the plays you really need to see performed, rather than read it.
bottom line: I recommend watching this (I sure want to!) but I don't think I recommend reading it.
this was my first time reading Shakespeare on my own, and I kind of...saw that as a negative. I like discussing Shakespeare in a classroom setting, and being motivated to mark up the text and otherwise process it fully. I felt like I missed out on stuff here.
also, this play felt so short. maybe it's my edition's fault, for being 111 pages. maybe it's how abrupt the ending was (which is very). or how flat the characters were, or how there were a sh*t ton of them. long story short, it's not my fave Shakespeare.
all that being said, this was very readable and funny at some points. I think this is one of the plays you really need to see performed, rather than read it.
bottom line: I recommend watching this (I sure want to!) but I don't think I recommend reading it.
Dark Places by Gillian Flynn
2.0
well, that was a wild ride.
let me begin by saying: the two star rating i'm giving this book has nothing to do with the quality of the writing. gillian flynn's iconic dark style comes to fruition even more in Dark Places, if i may say so, than in what is typically thought of as her masterwork, gone girl.
that being said, i didn't like it.
that's on me, though. this book had mystery, it had round characters, it had gorgeous writing, but it was just too dark for me. i had to read it piecemeal over about 10 days, and even then i was affected by the darkness of it. every single image, every description, every character and every action was nearly grotesque in its description.
my second-favorite aspect of a story (behind characters) is imagery, and this was absolutely teeming with it--to the point that it was too much for me.
so while i didn't like this book, i feel okay with recommending it (as long as you know what you're getting into).
let me begin by saying: the two star rating i'm giving this book has nothing to do with the quality of the writing. gillian flynn's iconic dark style comes to fruition even more in Dark Places, if i may say so, than in what is typically thought of as her masterwork, gone girl.
that being said, i didn't like it.
that's on me, though. this book had mystery, it had round characters, it had gorgeous writing, but it was just too dark for me. i had to read it piecemeal over about 10 days, and even then i was affected by the darkness of it. every single image, every description, every character and every action was nearly grotesque in its description.
my second-favorite aspect of a story (behind characters) is imagery, and this was absolutely teeming with it--to the point that it was too much for me.
so while i didn't like this book, i feel okay with recommending it (as long as you know what you're getting into).