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joshrskinner's review
4.0
I had the opportunity to get a review copy of The Self-Centered Spouse by Brad Hamrick. I, at first, had no desire to read this because, seemingly more often than not, I fall into that very category. However, it was the series title that encourages me to read it and the series title that left me convicted of areas where I fail but truly encouraged to press on towards a better representation, of Christ's love for the Church in my relationship with my wife. This book definitely shares The Gospel for Real Life.
As someone with a psychology backgound (Associate's Degree… I know just enough to diagnose myself with everything) and a Reformed understanding of common grace, I was curious to see how much "secular" counseling would be syncretized with the Gospel in this booklet. ("Secular counseling" being anything beyond praying and "let go and let God", of course.). I was pleased to see that Hambrick utilized a lot practical counseling advice and ideas, grounded in a good understanding of what grace actually looks like in real, everyday, life.
I really enjoyed how Hambrick guides the reader through what is a very difficult situation, a chronically broken marriage and what types of personalities typical find themselves in this struggle. Not only that, there is much insight to be gained for any of us who struggle with self-centeredness more than we would care to admit. I do not necessarily agree with his interpretation of Matthew 7:6, but the implications he draws out seem solid even if not neccesarily derived from this specific text.
I received a review copy from the publisher.
As someone with a psychology backgound (Associate's Degree… I know just enough to diagnose myself with everything) and a Reformed understanding of common grace, I was curious to see how much "secular" counseling would be syncretized with the Gospel in this booklet. ("Secular counseling" being anything beyond praying and "let go and let God", of course.). I was pleased to see that Hambrick utilized a lot practical counseling advice and ideas, grounded in a good understanding of what grace actually looks like in real, everyday, life.
I really enjoyed how Hambrick guides the reader through what is a very difficult situation, a chronically broken marriage and what types of personalities typical find themselves in this struggle. Not only that, there is much insight to be gained for any of us who struggle with self-centeredness more than we would care to admit. I do not necessarily agree with his interpretation of Matthew 7:6, but the implications he draws out seem solid even if not neccesarily derived from this specific text.
I received a review copy from the publisher.
bethanybeyondthejordan's review against another edition
3.0
This book is really useful, really practical.
But unfortunately the booklet also suffers from poor communication. Maybe it’s a conceptual editing issue?
For a little booklet, it aims to connect to too many disparate audiences (it is mostly written for the offended/victimized spouse, but slips into addressing the offending/antagonizing spouse and the counselor at times, without warning). The interchangeable words for the same person (self-centered spouse, offending spouse, abuser) made it confusing, especially in light of there being both aggressive and passive versions of self-centered spoofed. And in an effort to not paint all self-centered spouses as male, the author switches pronouns, so sometimes the offender is a he, sometimes a she. All of this made the book lack clarity. Additionally, some sections were clunky and less direct and, as such, hard to understand.
The last third of the booklet (12-15 pages on strategies for interacting and evidence of genuine change) made the content worth its weight in gold, but it was tough to get there.
But unfortunately the booklet also suffers from poor communication. Maybe it’s a conceptual editing issue?
For a little booklet, it aims to connect to too many disparate audiences (it is mostly written for the offended/victimized spouse, but slips into addressing the offending/antagonizing spouse and the counselor at times, without warning). The interchangeable words for the same person (self-centered spouse, offending spouse, abuser) made it confusing, especially in light of there being both aggressive and passive versions of self-centered spoofed. And in an effort to not paint all self-centered spouses as male, the author switches pronouns, so sometimes the offender is a he, sometimes a she. All of this made the book lack clarity. Additionally, some sections were clunky and less direct and, as such, hard to understand.
The last third of the booklet (12-15 pages on strategies for interacting and evidence of genuine change) made the content worth its weight in gold, but it was tough to get there.