This book is really useful, really practical.

But unfortunately the booklet also suffers from poor communication. Maybe it’s a conceptual editing issue?

For a little booklet, it aims to connect to too many disparate audiences (it is mostly written for the offended/victimized spouse, but slips into addressing the offending/antagonizing spouse and the counselor at times, without warning). The interchangeable words for the same person (self-centered spouse, offending spouse, abuser) made it confusing, especially in light of there being both aggressive and passive versions of self-centered spoofed. And in an effort to not paint all self-centered spouses as male, the author switches pronouns, so sometimes the offender is a he, sometimes a she. All of this made the book lack clarity. Additionally, some sections were clunky and less direct and, as such, hard to understand.

The last third of the booklet (12-15 pages on strategies for interacting and evidence of genuine change) made the content worth its weight in gold, but it was tough to get there.