i actually expected more substance from this book. It was still an enjoyable life, and the writer's compasssion really shined through the pages. Was it well written? Not particularly. It read more like a rambly memoir from her experience with the dying. Wholesome.

*Didn't complete*

This book was simply exhausting to read. Instead of focusing on the regrets, the writer keeps blabbering about her life and her mindset for pages, literally. If you're interested in knowing the regrets, just read the content page and leave the book. It barely contains anything valuable other than a few interesting stories here and there.

some interesting points here. well written! kind of lost me in the end there but maybe i’m just sleepy. overall enjoyable and i feel like i learned a bit about being human.

"Life is over so quickly. It is possible to reach the end with no regrets. It takes some bravery to live it right, to honor the life you are here to live but the choice is yours." - Bronnie Ware

Imagine taking 8 years in the prime of your working career to take care of the terminally ill. How would that experience shape the remainder of the years you have left in this life? Would you be kinder? Would you be more forgiving of others? Would you continue to accumulate material possessions? Would you pursue your goals with more passion? Or would you let go of your personal goals and instead spend your remaining time serving others?

Caregiver and author Bronnie Ware took just such an opportunity and it completely changed her perspective. She shares her experiences in the book "The Top Five Regrets of the Dying: A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing." From the outset, I appreciate that she also shared some of the negative feedback and criticism that she received when she first published her thoughts in the form of internet articles and blogs. By forming a "top 5," she was met with arguments from those who disagreed with some of the thoughts that made the list. Some readers believed she had left something out. Others thought some of the top 5 were incorrect and argued for other ideas that more closely aligned with their own views. However, as she states, these are not her own regrets. They are simply the most common regrets expressed among those she cared for during those 8 years. She makes no claims that the results of her experiences are all-inclusive or that they are scientifically representative of the thoughts and regrets of society as a whole. The Top 5 includes these regrets:

1. I wish I'd had courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

2. I wish I hadn't worked so hard.

3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.

4. I wish I'd stayed in touch with my friends.

5. I wish I had let myself be happier.

The above list should be taken as they are presented by Ware: representative of those she cared for during the 8 years she spent caring for the terminally ill. Although they may not represent the actual top 5 of society as a whole, it is easy to see that none of these are unusual. Most readers would agree to either feeling these same regrets at different points in life, or at least understanding how someone could hold such views by the end of their lives, when the realization of mortality begins to sink in.

The true value in the nature of a book such as this one is that it causes the reader to examine himself. If I made my own top 5 list, at least a couple of these would appear among the rankings. Yet, even if someone were to read this book and disagree with all 5 presented ideas, they would, at a minimum, have to contemplate what their own regrets are... and begin to take action to correct those regrets with the unknown amount of time he/she has left. And therein lies the purpose and value in this book.

Surprisingly, this book does not have morbid overtones. Ware does an excellent job of presenting her experiences in an optimistic light, continuously expressing gratitude for the opportunities, experiences, and relationships that have shaped her views and inspired her to live and write with renewed purpose in order to help others make a difference and an impact on the lives within their purview.

The only thing I found bizarre throughout the book was the confusing nature and source of where Ware drew her strength. She consistently uses words like prayer and faith, but she never specifies Who she prays to or Whom her faith is in. At times, it almost seems like it could have been God she was referring to, or it could have been Christianity that she was practicing, but that she never directly affirms those things says quite a lot. Perhaps by making this portion of the book vague, she hopes to appeal to more readers of all faiths. She also consistently uses words like flow and energy, and, more often than not, suggests that it was actually her who was in control of what was happening to her, and that is was herself that she should have had more faith in only she didn't realize it at times. Yet by the end of the book, she had finally reached a degree of self-sufficiency where everything finally made sense and fell into place. While this can almost be inspirational, it also leaves most readers who are unable to attain that level of independence somewhat lacking, without any realistic hope to aspire to. The message is to "try harder" or "hang in there" and that you'll eventually be able to control things within your own power too.

With that said, the book should be taken at face value. It's the Top Five Regrets of the Dying. Each of us will eventually arrive at the realization of our own mortality. For some, it will happen instantly, and there may be no time for regrets. For others, a terminal illness will be the end. Though more painful, a terminal illness also provides opportunities to say goodbye and the chance to right some wrongs. Ware's message is a good one: the earlier we come to the realization that we won't be here forever, the sooner we can begin living a life of substance and real value and not waste our finite time on things that ultimately do not matter.

Perhaps my favorite quote from the book (and there are many) is this one, from one of Ware's patients: "We spend so much time making plans for the future, often depending on things coming at a later date to assure our happiness or assuming we have all of the time in the world, when all we ever have is our life today."

If this book helps the reader to be more awake and aware of the value of the present, it will have served its purpose.

This book had been on my radar for years yet it became a must read for me when my dad was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer in July 2023. It took me a long time to read it but there was so much gold in there… so much to savour. Which seemed to be the theme of that time in my life. It was a blessing to read it at the time of my dad’s illness and death because I found a lot of comfort in it. A lot of brutal honesty, rawness and expansion was shared between myself and the words on the pages. An absolute must read for every human on this planet. No one escapes death. So why not try to live better?