wardenred's reviews
828 reviews

This book sounded like something I was practically doomed to love, but alas, it didn’t quite work out between us. Mostly because it was so full of unlikable people who, with one single exception, committed the crime of also being thoroughly unentertaining. Like, seriously, reading about bad people doing bad things for bad reasons is a special sort of drug, but they must be compelling. They must be three-dimensional. They must be, in some ways that make me question too much about myself, relatable. Or at the very least, they should be fun.

Here, we’ve got an oddly small, claustrophobic political full of people who don’t give a damn about any of the causes they supposedly champion, and they’re all so, so boring. Like, completely flat. I suppose Lennie has her moments, a couple of times, but those are also the times when she’s very openly used as a plot device and the entertainment comes from what she does, not who she is. It is highly unclear why she does it. Beyond the fact that she probably wants power, but why, to what end, with which nuances? Inquiring minds shall never know.

The one actually interesting unlikable character here is Thom, the MC, and he’s the one who fully carried the first half of the novel for me. He’s just a complete sociopathic bastard with so many layers of coldness, ruthlessness, callousness and fake charm to him, and I just wanted to dig into those layers and see if there might be something like a heart buried beneath them. I kind of hated him throughout, but he was really fun to hate. And amidst it all, he had some surprisingly positive moments, too, like his totally chill reaction to his bi awakening.

Clay, on his part, was rather blah, especially during the first half of the book. He’s probably one of the better people in this whole menagerie, but his brand of “clueless dork“ charm was a miss for me, and I couldn’t begin to feel invested in his chapters. That changed around the middle of the story when the guys started spending more time alone in his apartment and he started gaining some depth. That’s coincidentally when I began slowly buying into the romance and sensing some of the chemistry that was supposedly oh so evident to everyone but the leads. I guess in the end I didn’t mind seeing them reach their HEA but I also wasn’t particularly rooting for them. When the HEA came, I might have actually got a bit distracted by counting the plot holes and hanging plot threads…

This was a difficult book for me to get through for many reasons, not least of them being, of course, the subject matter. The premise is this: the author sits down to talk to a former friend who sexually assaulted her when they were younger. The execution involves a lot of meandering in circles, questioning the same things over and over, and, in a rather meta way, meditating on the process of writing this very book. It often felt like reading a highly personal diary, especially what with the short, often disjointed chapters and the lack of proper punctuation in dialogue.

On one hand, I feel this is such an important and relatable exploration of a sensitive subject matter.  There are these awful things that can happen to you, and you’re expected to feel a certain way about them, but reality can be way more complex and nuanced, and it can take a lot of soul-searching and courage to call things what you are, to admit your own feelings, to begin to figure out how to cope. On the other hand, I felt increasingly uncomfortable as I read by how close the author kept coming to… idk, almost taking the perpetrator’s side? She sets out to talk to him because she wants to understand the reasons behind his crime, but it keeps feeling like she’s searching for excuses instead. All those transcripts of their conversations were often difficult for me to read because of how apologetic and oh-so-grateful for his agreement to talk to her she was, and how she kept being so reassuring and basically trying to shield the guy from too much guilt and shame.

It did help that she approached it with a lot of self-awareness, including interactions with her loved ones calling her out on it. But at the same time, when she just kept doing the same thing, I had to kind of wonder, whose side was she on? Why not her own? And like, I don’t want to discard the fact that stuff like this can be a valid part of processing a fraught, complex, messy, painful situation. Trying to shoulder the responsibility for something another person did to you is often a way to assume control. But it was just a thing that happened over and over, that apologetic gratitude extended toward someone she’s still having nightmares about, that kept making me so incredibly frustrated.

This was kind of an acquired taste for me. At the beginning, I kind of really liked the idea but found it hard to vibe with the execution. Everything was super rushed—less actual storytelling, more “wink wink, nudge nudge, you’re certainly familiar with premises and tropes like this, so here are some broad strokes to get you going.“ The main cast went through three different designs each in a matter of pages (teenagers in the flashback, forty-somethings in the present, heroes in the fantasy world). It was honestly pretty confusing.

I’m glad I stuck with it past this initial jumble though, because once I got better oriented, the story sucked me right in. The grimdark setting built in-universe on teenage power fantasies and bits and pieces of zeitgeist feels more videogame than tabletop, and the character development remains sparse, but there are a lot of small clever things here that I enjoyed. Such as Ash’s genre-savviness and the increasingly hard choices the party had to make. Also, the art style here is really striking and creates a dark, oppressive atmosphere that perfectly matches the story. All in all, I’m quite likely to pick up more volumes.

This trilogy as a whole was sure a wild ride, and I’m going to miss Ghadid and the deserts and cities around it. As far as this book specifically goes, it’s so hard to talk about it because it wraps up so much from all over the series. And in terms of plotting and worldbuilding it does it so exceptionally well! It truly completes the story in all the ways that matter. As a series conclusion, it’s definitely a five-star read, but at the same time, I just can’t rate it as high as the previous one. Because while it has all the elements to wrap up the overarching story, the way they’re put together is not exactly smooth. 

I really appreciate how K.A. Doore gives each of the protagonists such a unique voice and outlook. Illi is completely unlike Thana and Amastan, and it took me a bit to get used to seeing this world through her eyes. She’s definitely a strong character, well-suited for telling this part of the story. But at the same time, I just couldn’t stop comparing her with Thana, because I’ve read their books so close together and because Illi goes through a bunch of very similar story beats, like leaving the city with a caravan or working closely with Heru. And while the way Illi tackles all these things is completely inline with her personality and arc and it wouldn’t make sense for her to be just like Thana, I just loved how Thana had this chemistry with everyone and was constantly conflicted and tended to keep me on the edge of my seat wondering what she’d choose after all.

In contrast, Illi’s arc is fairly predictable. A minor character in the previous book, she was the one who stayed in Ghadid back then while Thana went off adventuring, and so she was among those who bore the brunt of the Big Awful Thing That Changed Everything, the thing that Thana hardly had the time to start processing amidst her book’s events. Now, years later, she has strong (and fairly well-portrayed) PTSD after those events and that forces her to retreat into her shell and be prickly and careful with her affection for other people. And her arc is all about learning that you shouldn’t let fear stop you from loving and living, and that healing is easier when you can lean on others and let them lean on you. Which, cool, great message, except it gets kinda preachy in how it’s delivered and, predictably, makes it harder to put the character into situations where they would have genuine interactions with others and help those others wrap up their own arcs. Which I think was part of the lack of smoothness about the book.

Overall, though, the big plot was quite plainly fantastically resolved. Hetu continued to grumpily entertain every time he showed up. The further expansion of the setting was marvelous. Amastan and Yutif did meet again, and it was nothing like I imagined and everything I could wish for. Every time Thana and Mo appeared on the page together, no matter what dark shit was happening around them, I wanted to squee. Canthem was a great new character to meet. I loved how good they were for Illi, they’re overall the sort of character I’d love to be friends with, and past a bit of awkwardness at their introduction, I felt this was great nonbinary rep.

Definitely going to recommend the series to all fantasy lovers hungry for rich worldbuilding, queernorm settings, and big, diverse casts with plenty of character growth.

There are few things worse than death, but I am capable of most of them.

Wow! I really enjoyed the first book in this series, but this one? This one is where it’s at. Such a stunning and exciting example of everything I love about the fantasy genre. Not a hint of the dreaded middle book syndrome here, just lots of plot development, expanded worldbuilding, and truly fantastic characters.

Where The Perfect Assassin was a contained, city-based mystery, this book takes its characters beyond Ghadid and introduces us to the wider world and the bigger challenges. What starts as an attempt to finish a tricky assassination contract turns into a dark, messy, high-stakes journey through the desert with a visit to the heart of the Empire that wants to absorb Ghadid, and also necromancy, possession, political plotting, and immortality-seeking villains. The way new layers get constantly added to the whole situation is glorious. The plot unravels with so many twists and turns, and the last 4-5 chapters in particular are *such* a wild ride, like, I couldn’t look away from the page for a moment, the whole thing’s just. Asdfghjkl.

Thana turned out to be a super compelling protagonist, torn between her desire to live up to her legendary mother’s legacy and to break out of that legacy’s shadow. She has a great arc, and I love how resourceful, smart, and flawed she is. Also, she’s the type of character who has some sort of chemistry pretty much with everyone else, and that makes all the interactions so exciting. Her easy partnership with Amastan that was just ever so slightly tinged with jealousy, her slow-burn romantic dynamic with Mo, the whole convoluted thing with Heru. Speaking of Heru, he’s SUCH an amazing character! I started off really disliking him and wishing Thana all the luck in her original goal to murder him. Then the more page time he got, the more entertaining he became, and by the end I had to admit I’ve fallen in love with this snarky nerd who might be kinda evil, but it’s for science.

It was also so fun to meet Amastan again, but this time seeing him in the side character position. I loved witnessing his continued growth and development, and his characterization in the previous book was so strong that I feel like I’ve had no trouble guessing at how he must have been internalizing this one’s events, what’s been going through his head, etc. Honestly, the characterization in this series just really is great. As great as the worldbuilding.

In other words: this was incredible, can’t wait to pick up the final part of the trilogy, and also, I want a zombie camel.

Such a delightful and slightly bittersweet read with wintry vibes. I absolutely fell in love with the characters. The protagonists especially, but really, the cast is full of flawed and lovable individuals—some perhaps less lovable than others, and yet all equally compelling. Seriously, this tiny post-WW2 village enchanted me in the darkest way. Everyone here is so broken, and yet life goes on. Well, for everyone who doesn’t end up murdered, that is.

Speaking of the murders, I have to admit the mystery felt a tad confusing in how it was laid out. It’s possible that it’s on me because honestly, I was more invested in all the people and relationships than in figuring out the killer’s identity. But perhaps it’s also because the author’s understandable attempts to obfuscate the truth and keep the reader guessing were a tad awkward at times. Regardless, I enjoyed how the investigation shook up the community, and when the reveal came, it was the kind of surprise that made perfect sense and I actually really liked the who and the why.

The romance part is beautifully done. I just absolutely adored how James and Leo’s personal arcs intersected and what came of it. James is a village doctor, a good, honest, kind man dealing with PTSD from the war and constantly convincing himself that everything is fine, all the people around him are perfectly nice and normal, and nothing nefarious ever goes on anywhere. These affirmations begin to lose plausibility fast when a murder happens in the community, though. Meanwhile, Leo is a spy tasked with looking into said murder. Where James consciously lies to himself about the world, Leo lies to the world about himself. His existence is a kaleidoscope of fake identities and fictional stories, and he doesn’t even know at this point who he is underneath all that. Except when he gets a tiny bit stuck in Wychcomb St. Mary and starts interacting with the locals—particularly with James, but not just him—he starts stumbling upon the reality behind his own masks.

It was really great to see these two go from the initial clash to growing intimacy, and to witness how their developing relationship forced them to challenge and adjust their coping mechanisms. In big part thanks to James, Leo dug deeper underneath his masks and started trying to be honest with someone else. In big part thanks to Leo, James stopped turning away from the question of, “How do I live in a world where people are capable of doing awful things to each other?“ and started seeking an answer. The book ends with a HFN rather than a HEA, both in terms of the romance and their personal journeys, but hey, that’s why I’m definitely going to pick up the sequel.

I also really, really liked how the whole theme of secrets and lies permeated the entire village. No character left behind. At least one skeleton in every closet. Glorious. Also, for an m/m romance this book has so many awesome female characters! Fifteen-year-old Wendy with her quick mind, the elderly ladies from Little Briars, Mary Griffiths with her secrets and her truths—I love them all.

First, the positives: this was an incredibly quick and easy read that helped me while away a few hours. Nor is as much a sweetheart as a nightmare demon can hope to be. There’s definitely some of that trademark Lily Mayne monster romance charm here. And there are some super interesting worldbuilding ideas.

Oh, and best of all, the book helped me finally put it into words what kind of hurt/comfort I like and what kind of hurt/comfort I can barely stand. See, yeah, I often dig the type of romance stories where one character is, openly or secretly, in an awful, bad, no good situation, and the other swoops in to save them at some point, and then after much healing they live happily ever after. For me to dig these stories, both characters need to have personalities outside of the situation they’re in. I need to be looking at the one who suffers and seeing glimpses of who they’d be if they weren’t living this sad life. I need to understand what drives the one who saves/comforts, what the costs are for them. I need to see why the two are good for each other, why they would likely click even outside of this specific situation. I need to see people (or, well, nightmare monsters), and not just circumstances.

Unfortunately, this is the kind of book that just gives me circumstances and characters who are entirely shaped by them. This was one of my main problems when I tried to read Nik Knight’s solo series, too. Just like that series’ MC, Cody hardly has a personality outside of his tough life. I have no idea who he is outside of the fact that he’s been suffering and in need of saving and then he got saved and there was some great monster sex involved.

And there’s this glaring missed opportunity I can’t stop being mad about, with the video game that turns out to be more than a game eventually, the one that’s supposedly his respite in the worst of times with his family. We get some mentions of him escaping into the game, but for the longest time, nothing about it is *shown*. I can’t compare Cody-who’s-escaping-his-life with Cody-who’s-going-through-the-miserable-motions-again. I can’t figure out what he wants even if he can’t have it, what his values are, what his lines are—all things that could have been so interestingly explored with a gaming storyline. And yes, I get it, he’s very understandably depressed, but if he’s depressed to the point that nothing but grayness exists, maybe he should be getting help that doesn’t involve sex and romance until he gets at least just a bit better. Because as sweet as Nor is, when I think about this relationship too hard, it gets kind of cringey and worrisome and I’m really not sure what makes for a special bond here. Maybe Cody would have ended up in the same situation with any other demon who was kind to him.

So. Yeah. A quick read that I largely spent arguing with the story and urging it to do better with its amazing concepts, lol.

If you know you should do this thing, if you believe it’s the right thing to do, then it doesn’t matter how hard it is. You’ll find the strength to do it.

I don’t re-read books often. But a couple of people in one of my discord servers were talking about this series, reminding me that I never got past this first book and really would like to continue and finish it. Except I decided I didn’t remember the first installment all too well, given that I read it during a pretty stressful time and what mainly stuck with me were the vibes. So here I am.

It turned out that I actually did remember it, or at least it was super easy to recall. By the time I was a few chapters in, almost the entirety of the story sprang up in my mind. Nevertheless, I enjoyed it just as much the second time around. Amastan is such a great protagonist to follow: a young assassin who starts off immensely relieved when, upon successfully finishing his training, he is informed it’s very likely he’ll never actually get a contract. Then the plot happens. And his entire character arc. And it involves the damn chapter 28 that hits just as hard even when I know what’s coming at every twist. (I both love and hate chapter 28).

The worldbuilding here is simply stunning. It is as much about the assassins as the story itself. The aesthetics is immaculate, with all the roofs literally meant for running and jumping over them. Even more compelling, of course, is the societal structure and how it interacts with the existence of the assassin order among them. The politics of it, the moral conundrums, it’s all just really interesting and engrossing. I also adored the water-based magic system in this desert setting, and the evil spirits, and how, again, both of those factors being a part of everyone’s lives influence the views and morals of these fictional people. And I really liked how the more the story progressed, the more worldbuilding layers opened up, though I also feel like that might be a deterrent for some because it does seem kind of shallow at the beginning. Patience is greatly rewarded, though. 

I also appreciated how queer this book is, especially the super relatable alloromantic ace representation with the MC. Though I must warn you that if you expect a happy romantic subplot alongside the mystery and adventure, you may end up sorely disappointed. I mean, there is a subplot. It is beautiful and heart-rending and I know that other books in the series have different MCs, but if I never witness another interaction between Amastan and Yufit I swear I’ll riot. However. Well. This is not anywhere in the realm of capital R romance, let’s leave it there to avoid spoilers.

A really lovely read, the kind of old-school fantasy adventure that made me remember why I fell in love with the genre in the first place. The worldbuilding with the twists on the societal structure and gender roles was pretty fun, and of course I absolutely adored all the dragons. So many dragons! Seriously, if you love dragons, you have to read this. They come in all sizes and colors here, ranging from monstrous to cute.

And then there are so many lovable human characters here, too. My favorite was definitely Robert . He’s a lovable reluctant dragon exterminator who would rather be friends with that “vermin,“ and he’s really got such a nice arc (as do other characters, to be fair—and by the way, I really enjoyed how those arc intersected and fed into each the same main theme). I started feeling for him from his very first appearance. Especially since that first scene was so relatable—“I’m dead but I’m awake“ is such a strong morning vibe.

That’s another thing I want to mention, by the way: the story is full of those small, humorous moments. Nothing outright comedic / laugh-out-loud funny, more like gently amusing. Lots of clever turns of phrase to keep the reader smile. Generally, the writing style is really warm and compassionate somehow. It gives the book this soft, cozy feel, even though it definitely doesn’t qualify for the cozy fantasy subgenre. It is, after all, quite the classic adventure where our heroes need to defeat an evil wizard and all. There are some pretty dark vibes here now and then, actually (ew, dragon market…), but still, the aftertaste the story leaves is that of kindness and comfort.

I’ve been excited for this book ever since I finished the original series it spins off from. The only reason I kept putting it aside was the hope that the next one would be out soon, because Adhara’s writing is just so bingeable and I wanted a longer stay in this familiar world. Alas, the sequel’s publication date has been getting pushed back, and I had yet another fun convo about *Big Bad Wolf* with friends recently, and, well, I caved.

My impressions, to tell the truth, are… utterly mixed.

I was initially excited to see this was a dual POV book because that’s how I prefer my romance. And when I was reading the original series, I sometimes wished we could get at least a glimpse of, well, everything from Oliver’s POV. But with this book, by the middle or so I was kind of wishing Eli’s POV was the only one. He was really the whole reason I remained invested into the story—not just because he was an already familiar and beloved character, but because he remained thoroughly entertaining, kept gaining depth, and also, from his POV Julien seemed a lot more interesting compared to Julien’s own parts. It’s funny, but maybe if I only saw Julien through Eli’s eyes, I would find it easier to click with him. I would just write off everything I didn’t fully understand about him as, “Well, Eli doesn’t know certain things, so.“

Because the thing about Julien is, initially I was prepared to take his overall opaqueness and the secrets he kept from the reader as a feature, not a bug. He’s an actor, after all, it figures that he can be good at smoke and mirrors in his situation. But the further the story progressed, the more frustrated I was with his scenes, because I just *wasn’t getting to know him*. I still think it was meant to be a feature, but the execution was faulty. And that, naturally, impacted my impression of the romance, because yeah, the dynamic here was theoretically fun and promising… but with one part of the relationship constantly turning into a smoke screen, it was just really hard to get into.

Another disappointment was the mystery itself. It was as exciting as most of the mysteries in the original series in terms of set-up, but the actual investigation kept losing me. I kept wanting someone else to take over. Not even Cooper and Oliver necessarily, though I wouldn’t have said no to that. Just, I don’t know, someone more… competent? More capable of making the process of solving the mystery exciting? More proactive in some ways? I don’t know, I’ll be musing about it for a bit more, I guess.

But! To finish on a few high notes, I really enjoyed every part of the snowy, wintery setting. There was this strong sense of place throughout—I felt like I was actually present in every building or outside location, got affected by the weather, breathed the same air. I enjoyed the banter, especially in the second half of the book, and I definitely loved seeing the leads from the original series again, no matter how briefly. And the overarching plot has enough interesting details that I do still want to pick up the next installment when it’s finally out.