icarusandthesun's reviews
140 reviews

this review might contain minor spoilers.

i feel absolutely terrible for saying this, but you've reached sam was one of the worst books i have read in a while.

so i want to preface this by saying that i don't wanna shit on the author or anything, and it's just my personal opinion and i am someone who's not too fond of young adult books in general, so take all of this as you will.

the characters were a bloody mess.

not all of them, but very (un)conveniently only the ones that mattered - namely the main characters.

i don't think i've ever met anyone who's more unlikeable and frustrating and selfish than julie: skipping her boyfriend's funeral, ignoring her friends, and meanwhile it's all just me me me me. "i feel so horrible", "i want him back", "i can't let go". fuck you.

she's mean to everyone and has no personality whatsoever. whatever she says, it's bland and icky and she acts like she's the victim all of the time when she's really not.

she was also just a bad friend and a bad person in general, imo.

especially the thing with tristan. like?? are you insane??

(if you didn’t want this to be a date, that’s fine, but then just bloody tell him maybe, instead of telling him you won’t come, even though it means the world to him?? not because he loves you but because you’re supposed to be his god damn friend.)

her whole character was asking how 'all of this is possible' and 'where are you' and 'i can't let go' and 'i wanted to but i didn't' and 'i'm sorry' and 'i feel guilty' and 'i don't know what to write about'. endless whining and endless repetitions. if i had a dime for every time she said the same phrase or asked the same question over and over again, i'd be rich enough to go back to the book store and buy a different book.

and sam wasn't much better either. he wasn't as annoying, but definitely as bland. there was no personality in his speech, in his words, only in his actions. playing a round of 'who said what?' with the cast of this book would be a herculean task.

and the "bullies", or "mean girls" or whatever you wanna call them in that pretty little unconvincing high school setting, were atrociously written.

they were supposedly friends with sam, which poses the questions: why was sam friends with people who behave like this? and why did they behave like this in the first place?

they had no redeeming qualities. they were simply there to be mean, and to piss of the characters that were supposed to be the more 'favorable' ones (which they weren't).

i suppose the author wrote one of the bullies to be racist? which didn't make any sense at all because they were friends with sam and sam is japanese.

also, they were portrayed to be the bad guys, but they weren't even that evil?

yuki wanted to create the 'asian study group' thing, and one of the bullies asked why she named it the 'asian study group' when everyone was allowed to join, not just asians.

the main cast was all pissed at him, though that's a perfectly valid question, isn't it?

at one point the main girl and one of the bullies get into a verbal argument. and mika goes out of her way to make the VERBAL fight physical. she literally slaps a bitch. and then proceeds to use her SELF-DEFENCE moves to mess up the two bullies. the author portrayed it to be a #girlboss and #badass move, which it wasn't at all?? mika wasn't being badass, she was aggressive and violent and it's glossed over and portrayed as something heroic. starting fights and using your superior fighting knowledge to win against some inexperienced, weak high school kids is - controversial take, i know - not okay?

so at that point i was already pretty pissed, right. well, i'm not done yet.

the mindless clichés that were put into this book made me wanna slam my head against the wall. because it's got everything. and with 'everything' i also mean, among other things, inconsequential sexual harassment at a bar. why?

it's always good to talk about stuff like this, because it happens, of course, but this kind of representation isn't helping the cause. the sexual assault was solely used to establish mika's character - that she does self-defence and stuff. that's it. no consequences, nothing. it makes sexual harassment seem like a joke, like something that happens and can be easily forgotten. not cool.

and by the time they boarded the ferris wheel in one of the flashbacks at the end of the book, i was utterly done with all the sweetly sickening tropes - and with the story in general.

man, the story. what a nothingburger. such an interesting concept, and 300 pages that could be compressed into 5 well-structured sentences. and the ending? with the magical crystal and shit? i felt like i was reading a children's fantasy book. goofy.

needless to say, i didn't cry. the ending was okay though. julie realized some of her mistakes and character flaws and there was a bit of character development. i think i would've enjoyed the book more if the character development had hit a bit earlier and not in the last two chapters when it didn't matter anyway and the metaphorical lake that's my opinion of julie had long frozen over.

if you like young adult and the utter perfection that is peak melodramatic teenage behavior, you might like this.

if you like clichés and overused tropes, you also might like this.

but, uh, proceed with caution. 

i am so in love with this series (and the whole found family arc).
it's got murder, and intrigue and space fights and friendships. and most importantly, it's got murderbot - in all it's antisocial glory - slowly finding its way and warming up to all the humans that support it. 
all the characters are so incredibly lovely and lovable and the books are so sensible and wholesome in the most mature way ever. sometimes i get bursts of emotions that are almost physical. 

murderous, twisted, funny, and so beautifully human. this time with a delightfully devastating end.
i'm infatuated with murderbot.

i cannot describe how obsessed i am with these books.
... such a good sequel... what the fuck.

this was everything from funny to brutal to adventurous to comforting. this was a portrait of the most human parts of human behavior painted by a very much not-human being.
feels like a warm hug that one can melt into. brilliant.

re-read: 26.02.24
ART and murderbot are my favorite duo. this series to me is the equivalent of what "the rise and fall of sanctuary moon" is to murderbot: pure comfort.

this was a re-read for me. i've said it before and i'll say it again: this is the best sci-fi book i've ever read.

how wells managed to put excellent world building, even better character work, humour and a bitter sweet found family arc in only around two hundred pages is incredible. 

absolutely can't wait to read the rest of the series.

this was one of those books that make you want to get your life together on a random monday afternoon. that make you feel like actually, you can achieve everything you've ever wanted to achieve - at least for a few hours.

this book was exactly what i needed right now.

i read this in two days time. i couldn't put it down, really; i was fueled by the fun story, the short chapters and the general boredom i experience in my day-to-day life.

as someone who's roughly frances' age, thrives off academic validation and is addicted to it like bad drugs, i found the whole academia aspect covered very relatable and ergo also comforting in a way.
truly a nice read.

but i also want to get a little bit into the things i didn't enjoy, because unfortunately the similarities between the characters and me end there.
this book was undoubtedly and so very obviously young adult that some parts of it i just couldn't stand. frances' quirkiness, her constant complains about how 'no one really knows her', the melodramatic way all the characters react to anything happening in their lives, and their childish and uncommunicative behavior - it was a lot.
what i generally dislike about young adult books is that the authors tend to spell everything out for the supposedly young target audience, as was the case here.
most things were super on the nose, sort of cliché and there was a lot of telling instead of showing. whole sentences were sometimes repeated word by word a weird amount of times. 
i also had a couple of issues with the story. started strong and stayed strong for a good 3/5 of the book, but ended up getting sillier and sillier as it neared its conclusion. 
the climax was disappointing, actually goofy, fairly unrealistic, the characters' motivations utterly incomprehensible. most of the 'plot twists' and revelations were a little predictable as well.

now all of this sounds like i didn't enjoy the book, but i did. i really, really did. i liked the commentary on academia, which i think is still not talked about enough; i liked the dialogue and chemistry between the characters, especially between aled and daniel. at the beginning i didn't like daniel a lot obviously, but he grew to be my favorite character as the story progressed and my hate for aled, his personality and unpredictable character arc developed. 
still, their dynamic was one of the things i enjoyed the most. i liked how intertwined their lives seemed to be and the way they communicated.

to sum it up: this one's easy to read, a little silly and frustrating sometimes, but still quick, enjoyable and occasionally really relatable. i know i just gave a hell lot of critique, but believe me, i'm giving this book four stars for a reason. it's got a certain charm to it that i can't quite put my finger on, nor name. 
you'll simply have to take my word for it - or don't.

hallucinogenic, wild - an absolute fever dream.
the writing was impressive, the characters and their development smooth and spiralling like a vortex of water. their decline was obvious, yet so gradual and gracious that later one is left wondering, how could it come to this? how could the same characters that felt new and strange and beautifully secretive at the beginning, discussing greek prepositions in the library, become so fucked up and alien?
i went into this book expecting dark academia, a romantic murder accompanied by sweet greek verses and justified with latin proverbs. well, this was dark academia - for maybe the first hundred pages. after that it turned into a sort of psychological thriller but filled with alcohol and drugs, homer and thoroughly morally grey characters that had no sense of reality and being, in a sleepy town that felt as wicked and grey as its inhabitants.
i lost the book's story line and supposed purpose out of sight rather quickly - the time richard got pneumonia, to be exact. that was the first "what am i reading?"-moment of many yet to come.
and still, i found myself reading for hours straight, leisurely, curious and enticed. a little confused, a little enthralled. 
this book was as unpredictable as life itself, and as tempting as a cult.

i want to slam my head against the wall just to feel something, because after this book and the absolute emotional tornado it came with, i'm not sure i will be able to ever again.
i feel empty, and desperate, sad, miserable and relieved, and so full of burning love and passion for this book.
it so violently reminded me why i love reading so fucking much.
it's books like these that make life seem bright and joyful and lively and horrible and beautiful. that make emotions a thing of reality, not just type-written words, ink on paper, a meaningless mess of letters.
i feel so god awful and all choked up with affection.

if i died now i would be most okay with that, knowing i'd had the opportunity to consume this magnum opus of a piece of literature.

doubt thou the stars are fire,
doubt that the sun doth move,
doubt truth to be a liar,
but never doubt i love.

(... this book; thanks shakespeare)

a tale filled with great horrors, pain and truth.
this book was very special, something i've never read before, and wise in an unconventional type of way.
i liked the story in its simple complexity, but the pacing threw me off quite frequently. the storyline and structure were sort of jumpy and the lifeless ease with which the events were described took away most of the impact.

an important story, but the writing style was not for me.

i think i might be in love.
when i read the synopsis i feared this was gonna be a very 'straight' book - romanticising toxic relationships, shallow and all that. but while this is undeniably still very straight, it's also self-aware, beautiful, painfully relatable at times, unhinged and so lovable.
it's got messy takes on obsession and love and features thoughts that sprang from a disturbed mind. 
the book's full of terribly relatable things, vices and forbidden thoughts i was surprised to find were not confined to my own damned existence. it was all so specific and comforting and horrible.
the short chapters made this book quick, easy and lovely to read.
whimsical, yet comforting.