floatinthevoid's reviews
229 reviews

Enid's daily life can't be separated from these two things: space and true crime podcasts. From mars to black holes, she always has interesting space trivia at the top of her mind. She often finds herself in circumstances where she and other people are at odds, and the murder stories podcast is one reason she can manage getting by. She also goes on a lot of dates with women from dating apps. One day she receives a phone call from a stranger that resulted in an unexpected sequence thereafter. Although she would rather stay out of other people's business, it appears that misfortune follows in her direction. On top of that she is not only in the middle of rekindling her ties with her family, she also noticed that one of her neighbors has been acting strange recently. With so many things happening in her life, things are getting worse when she feels like she’s slowly losing control.

Set in modern day where there’s a certain stereotype about women who listen to true crime podcasts, I was dreading that this book will turn to a path I don’t particularly enjoy. Because my past experience with modern internet phenomena used in a book is not so great. Having finished the book, I think I can trust Emily Austin to handle that in a careful manner. As per Emily Austin style, the premise of the story tends to be simple yet the actualization is rather grim and gloomy. That’s why before starting this book, it’s best to check the trigger warnings first then tread carefully.

This book made me realize that it's impossible to make everyone understand me. It doesn’t matter how much or how little I explain about what’s going on inside myself to people; some people won't be satisfied by my explanation. It stings, but that’s just how the world works. Like Enid, who exhibits symptoms of autism throughout her life, she can’t speak her mind without portraying it in a way that other people can accept. People’s reactions to her authentic self are often furrowed eyebrows and awkward smiles. To avoid over-explaining herself that will just make the situation worse, she develops a way to camouflage. There’s this persisting feeling that the way that she is unfit for the world.

This narrative is a constant thing that exists in her head. Because we exist in her head, we are provided with her train of thought which explains why Enid behaves the way she does. But even after mastering the art of blending in with society, she is still misunderstood by people around her.

Enid is a complex character who displays a mix of traits, trauma, and coping skills she acquired after negative past experience. She’s written to be so unbelievably real, as if Austin finds Enid’s diary on a random Tuesday, then makes it a novel.

What I’m trying to say is, the characterization of Enid is so intricately refined. From the way she talks to herself, how she presents herself in front of other people and why she does it, the slow walk to self-awareness, to how she finally finds herself, all of that feels so psychologically intimate?? Maybe because I ‘m very familiar with the themes this book brought up, that’s why I’m totally absorbed in the story. I guess because of this reason too, this book will hit harder for some than others.

The plot itself isn’t some grand twisty storyline or anything, but it integrates well with what the characters are dealing with. To me the pace is well-timed, not wonky at all. The dynamics between the characters are okay, and the humor is without a doubt, well delivered. Enid is so neurotic, her mind is a mess to the point that her absurd thoughts sound so hilarious to me like she’s so me fr. Meanwhile the mystery aspect itself is not what you expect. I don’t want to spoil it, just know that it left me with emotional damage which I should be compensated for.

I wish I could articulate myself better because some passages in this book made me feel like screaming crying throwing up munching the wall, you know what I mean?? The nuance in the daughter-mother relationship, half sisters and abandoned kid, relate that to Enid’s relationship with people, it’s just so good. I love this book a lot. It’s a great book. I highly recommend this to everyone.

My only complaint is, Emily Austin’s characters need better names.

Last, I hope she keeps getting bright colorful covers for her novels, I think it’s funny. 

I'm traumatized

 

Table for One is a collection short stories that aims to demonstrate contemporary society’s messiness that sometimes difficult to believe that it’s real. Yun Ko Eun managed to play with this blurring realism and fantasy in some of her stories in this book. There is so much to be said about the world we live in today. Right off the bat, the first story will strike one of the biggest concern people have: loneliness, individuality, and solitude; how they differ from each other but intrinsically linked. I enjoyed the first story a lot. To me, it’s a solid start that introduced me to what I’m dealing with. The first story is about a woman office worker that attends a course outside work that she hopes can help her overcome the uneasiness of being excluded. As to not spoil further, this story ends with a deconstruction of the beginning of the story. The world building was established really well along with an engaging narrative from the main character. The main character was also developed nicely. It’s such a neat little story with layers social commentary. 

Unfortunately, after that first story, the book started to drag for quite a while. I understand that the author is trying to write stories where the readers do not think that the curtains were not just blue. If anyone miss the humongous allegories presented in this book, then I’m at a loss of words. You don’t have to understand the true meaning of these stories that uses various symbolism, just that as long as you get the gist of it, this book isn’t so bad. But honestly, I wish the stories weren’t so convoluted with ideas and social commentaries that they lose touch in storytelling. A few of the stories feels like they are made after the author set a box containing the social commentaries she wanted to tell, so the worldbuilding is made to cross match those ideas rather than established to complement the plot and characters. 

I did enjoy some of them more than the others. Like the one where the world commercialized dreams, and the last one with the pov from a kid living in a world of “organic” craze. I noticed that the ones that I like are the ones with well-rounded main characters. Their point of view are interesting enough for me to go on with the story, they have their unique individuality and distinct from other characters in the story. And those are the things to me that made them different from other stories that are more formulaic. I don’t think formulaic stories are always bad, just that I think even with formula there’s gotta be something different about how you presented them. Most of these stories incite grim after thoughts; they’re showing the readers repeatedly, look at our society bro, we’re doomed bro, fr this is the world we live in, ya see? I really don’t mind reading a book that has disheartening tone from start to finish. But to me this book does not have a singular core, like what one specific theme that connected all of these stories, so I am overwhelmed. Because it wants to reach topics as broad as it possibly can while applying a lot of symbolism, it’s a bit of a train wreck.    

With that being said, I appreciate the amount of thoughts that must have been put into making this collection of short stories. After all Yun Ko Eun has created so many unique plots and worlds in this book that me as a reader may not encountered in any other place. The last story is probably one of the most nuanced and profound commentary on the complexities that children in the new generation faced while growing up in today’s world. It’s incredible. Here’s a great quote from that story: 

Thank you NetGalley and the publisher for providing me with an eARC to review this book.        

Dazai was in the mood for being a little goofy with this one. It's like we get to experience his train of thoughts during the writing process, it's incredible that he can combine his narrator voice with the story seamlessly. It doesn't end up being a disjointed piece of work. He's mocking his own writing, I can tell. It reads to me like a depressive episode in the middle of writing a big projects but having a lot of hard time doing that and coping with that by making (and actually finishing it) a little side project. The hilarious kind this book has is the self-deprecating humor that gen-Z has. It's so depressing that it's funny. 

Here, Yozo isn't performing being a clown like he did in No Longer Human, but he explore the clownery of human behaviors in certain situations by being an observer. Love it. Such a unique writing style.

I must have been bestowed with an uncountable amount of lives, for I have died and was reborn many times after reading poems that shook my core.
 
I died when Mahmoud Darwish wrote, "In every object there is a being in pain—a memory of fingers, of a smell, of an image. And houses are killed, just like their inhabitants. And the memory of objects is killed: stone, wood, glass, iron, and cement are scattered in broken fragments like living beings."
 
Then I was reborn when he said, "I play with the soapy lather and forget what is absent. I look contentedly at my mind, as clear as the kitchen glass, and at my heart, as free of stains as a carefully washed plate."
 
This happened repeatedly throughout the whole time I was reading this book.