emmareadstoomuch's reviews
2051 reviews

There was, like...never even a question of whether or not I was going to read this book.

https://emmareadstoomuch.wordpress.com/2017/04/27/wires-and-nerve-volume-one-review/

I read The Lunar Chronicles way before I became the harsh, bitter, cynical acid raindrop of a reviewer you see before you now, so you may want to take the following statement with a grain or so of salt, but: I really loved that series. I’m too scared to reread the books, because I’m 97% certain they won’t hold up, but I recall them with some degree of fondness. I cited it as my favorite series for a while before realizing that was, no question, not even a little bit true.

Still, I loved them. So of course I’m cursed to forever pick up any addition to that series forever. Marissa Meyer has me on the hook, and unless I begin that formidable reread and it turns out to be as massive a disappointment as I suspect, upon that hook I will remain.

I didn’t, like, love this book. I didn’t even like it strongly. I found it pretty eh. Will I pick up the sequel? Indubitably. (How long is this series? I’m scared. So is my wallet.)

That being said, I read it in a sitting and didn’t hate it. And it’s the little things like that you’re grateful for when your reading year is progressing like mine. (By which I mean, very behind on my reading challenge + giving out one star ratings like it’s my job.)

Let’s get into it.

For starters...I don’t like the art very much. It’s VERY cartoonish, which is cute, but all the characters look exactly the same. They just have slightly different hairstyles. And it’s weird for the caption to be all “this is the most beautiful girl in the galaxy” while the picture is of a head with a glorified smiley face on it. Too mean? It’s not bad. It’s just not my cup of tea...and I’d argue not the right choice for a story like this. But that’s just my opinion. (I say, as if everything I ever write on this site is anything more than my dumb opinions.)

The characters just felt dull. If I’m remembering the original books in The Lunar Chronicles correctly, the characters are vibrant! They’re funny and amusing and it’s cool to get to follow them around. Well, not Scarlet. Or Wolf. Or Cinder and Kai, most of the time. (My god, why did I love those books so much?) But Cress and Thorne usually guarantee a good time. And Iko is a funny little thing.

I’d argue Iko is the most true to my memory of her of the bunch, but even she is toned down. Thorne is VERY different. I swear I can feel the author trying to recapture Thorne’s voice, and just...not getting there. It’s upsetting. All the characters become so flat. And that definitely wasn’t a problem in the original series.

Plot-wise, this wasn’t terrible. I was a bit bored, but that’s fair - this is the setting-up of what is supposed to be a series, maybe? We follow Iko as she’s trying to capture the wolf soldiers leftover from a past storyline in hiding on Earth. Every once in awhile we meet up with another member of the gang. It’s fine.

But then some tough wolf guy is like, oh, I don’t think so! I’m going to kill all of you and get all the other remaining wolf people on my side. Oooooh, not that simple, bitches!

Here’s the thing, though - and hear me out on this - I’m kind of on Professor Wolfdude’s side.

He’s all, “Hey, you guys...this is kind of f*cked. Like, we were made into wolf people against our will, which was straight torturous, and then enslaved and forced to kill people. And guys, it’s not even our faults that we now thirst for human flesh. And now the new queen, who’s supposed to be all nice, is just capturing us? And like, killing us if we maybe don’t want to go back to the place where a ton of bad shit happened to us? Nah. I’m not into it.”

And Iko’s response is pretty much “You’re wrong ahhhh! I’ll kill you harder now!” So I’m not even rooting for the intended people here. But I digress.

Other than that...oh yeah! The romance this series prides itself upon. Every single character is matched up with another character - HETEROSEXUALLY, GUYS. If you were worried about LGBTQ people getting representation here, DON’T. It’s like 1794 but in space.

What was I saying? Right. So the relationships are boring here. The narrator just tells us we should think they’re cute, in the hopes that we do. But I’m rebellious and quirky and cool, so it’s not that easy, Meyer!

Also, I am against the new love interest introduced here, Liam x Iko, with everything that I am. Liam inherently believes that Iko is incapable of emotion and that robots shouldn’t have rights, and we’re supposed to be like, aw! Cute! That’s not the same thing as hate to love. I would make a comparison here, but it would be toeing the line at best and clearly something is off with me today so I’m just going to wrap this up.

Even though this book had problems, I didn’t hate it. I kind of disliked it and found it to be a disappointment, but disappointed is my go to emotion now, baby!

Wow, this review is truly a ride. Sorry about that. And I’m not even going to include GIFs. I’m a mess.

Bottom line: I read this in a sitting and didn’t despise it with every cell in my body, so it’s getting two stars. But man, this book was somethin’.

it's that time of the day - when, i presume, each of you simultaneously whisper "emma is an idiot," sending a tremor throughout the earth.

here's a review of a book i read 6 months ago. please read it. i like it! it gets the me endorsement!
https://emmareadstoomuch.wordpress.com/2017/03/07/1001/
------------------------------
okay. i can't. i have to be honest with myself and stop reading this and shout from the rooftops that i got halfway into it and i can't believe that so few events filled that many pages.

review coming soon to emmareadstoomuch.wordpress.com

This book was...a lot.

For some reason, I really don't want to review it at all. I thought I was going to do a mini-review, so I didn't take notes or write down quotes for this or anything. But now, seeing that my Goodreads friends' average rating of this book is 4.15, I feel I need to elaborate.

So bear with me.

The #1 thing that prevented me from giving this book a higher rating? It's an absolute love letter to the (oft-mentioned in my negative reviews) you're not like other girls trope. I mean, the opening line of the very synopsis is "If Skylar Evans were a typical Creek View girl, her future would involve a double-wide trailer, a baby on her hip, and the graveyard shift at Taco Bell." And I swear it feels like that one sentence encapsulates 99% of the book. Skylar is constantly comparing herself to this extremely specific definition of what a girl from her hometown is, and it's so alarming. It's never corrected. Skylar's best friend fits this stereotype, and when said BFF finally confronts her for discussing the inferiority of a group in which her loved ones fit, Skylar's reaction is SO lacking. She apologizes, but just for not letting her pal know that she's better than other girls, too. It's the worst. This is not an okay belief. You're not better than anyone else for living up to your sweeping generalizations of what people should do.

Somewhat similarly, there are some real traces of slut shaming in this book.

Spoiler

At one point, loverboy Josh freaks out and leaves our heroine (bleh) when they're about to get it on - and, gasp! She's a virgin, as they mention a million f*cking times! So this social construct for which only women are held accountable is a Big Goddamn Deal, apparently! Anyway, he leaves and gets a blowjob from some girl. Nasty, right? Nasty on Josh's part, and not the innocent girl? Like, irredeemably skeezy? You'd think so - but you'd be wrong. Apparently, as lovingly explained by Josh's brother, this is a forgivable act by Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy since the rando girl is a "slut."

God, I hate it so much. What a double standard. Josh, who according to Skylar has slept with "three-quarters" of the girls in town, is never on the receiving end of bullsh*t like this.

I picked this thing up because Heartless left me in a slump, and I thought this would be a bit of fluff to pull me through. Nope. This book was exhausting. That's because absolutely every second is cheesy/overwrought/dramatic/tense/some combination of the four. Not so much as a trip to McDonald's or a chess game can pass without Skylar glooming over her feelings and life or Josh getting super profound out of nowhere or either of the two throwing a tantrum. Being stuck in Skylar's head for the whole thing was WAY too much. I'm not saying drama doesn't have a place in contemporaries, because it totally does...but not like this. I think it was This Adventure Ends that discusses the danger of responding to someone else's tragedy by discussing your own, and that's what this entire book felt like. Skylar's problems at home and Josh's PTSD could have been really meaningful and impactful, but instead they were plot devices, a cheap appeal for a high rating.

There's also just this really off-putting subplot during which Josh says homophobic slurs a bunch of times. One time, he directs one toward Skylar's best friend (not the victim of a stereotype best friend, a different one). He abruptly stops using them, I think, once Skylar halfheartedly hits him with the equivalent of "not cool" later. It was just...weird. I didn't get what the message was. Josh also responds "don't go all PC on me," which is the worst. I never knew a stance against political correctness could be an aspect of a YA book, but here we are. At least it fits well into current events. (Buh dum ch!)

And the characters did not do it for me. Skylar is über dramatic. True, she's got a tough go of things, but she never chills out. And this book is in the first person, so that sh*t is GRATING. Beyond that, I'd say her main trait is that she wears Converse. (An absolutely classic component of the typical not-like-other-girls pixie quirky dreamboat.) I think she's supposed to be funny, but the only reason I know that is because the other characters react that way. And I HATE the name Skylar. If there's a Skylar reading this, I'm sorry. If you want my advice, go by Sky. Or your middle name.

Josh...is harder to cast blame on. I think the post-traumatic stress disorder is done well in the first three-quarters of this book (which is really my only positive opinion about it). One downside is that practically every bad choice he makes (and there's more than a handful) is pinned on this, which makes him both unrealistic and difficult to criticize. (Skylar herself says he can't blame his PTSD if they date, which is...weird in terms of how it fits into the book. And totally casts a strange light on post-traumatic stress. But I digress.) So I'll just say he feels unrealistic. Like, pre-tour in Afghanistan Josh: womanizer, drunkard, asshole. After serving in military: a kind, handsome charmer with one leg, PTSD and a heart to give. It's a little much. Also it doesn't fit with all the skeezy things he does during the course of this book.

In terms of more minor characters...the mom was just awful. In this story, she curses at her daughter, forces her to take care of her, nearly ruins her life, slaps her across the face, invites a man that makes Skylar uncomfortable to live in their home, loudly has sex with him in the next room, treats Josh terribly because he's polite and has one leg (I'm blaming this one on the weird writing), refuses to get a job (so her daughter has to work at two) and generally makes things a living hell for poor old Sky. But in the end, we're supposed to forgive her? Even though she's moving with the aforementioned suitor across the country and essentially abandoning Sky? Just because she apologizes? Yikes.

Chris and Dylan, the aforementioned best friends, were really flat. Chris (who is not the classic hometown stereotype one, but, in fact, a guy) was really self-involved and bad at being a friend. He also mooned over Dylan in spite of the fact that she was happily taken. It was annoying. Dylan (the poor victim of Creek View, who is a girl) wasn't bad, I guess.

Also, this book acts like love is a prescription for PTSD. Not a cure right away, but it hints that it is over time. And I don't like that. Mental illness can't be cured with a lot of hugz, and indicating that it can be is extremely damaging to those suffering and their loved ones.

HAHAHA remember when I thought this review would be short? Guess I hated this more than I thought.

Bottom line: this book was overwrought and problematic. I didn't even like the characters. A total disappointment, and my hopes weren't that high in the first place.

And...that's three one star reviews in a row. 2017 is treating me well already.

i didn't really love the characters, but the concept was good, and this fit in with the massive fantasy kick i've been on lately. (so weird since i usually read only contemporaries in the summer! i'm running out of fantasy.)

1. If you haven’t read Pride & Prejudice, what are you doing with your life?
2. If you have read Pride & Prejudice but you haven’t watched The Lizzie Bennet Diaries, what are you doing with your life?
3. If you have read Pride & Prejudice and watched The Lizzie Bennet Diaries, hurray! Now read this book.

https://emmareadstoomuch.wordpress.com/2016/11/12/the-secret-diary-of-lizzie-bennet-review/

God, I love P&P. I have a strange fascination with romance novels (and rom-coms, for that matter), because very frequently I feel nothing when I’m reading them. But Pride & Prejudice is not in that group. Its better adaptations aren’t either, and The Lizzie Bennet Diaries is totally one of the better adaptations.


The concept is essentially a modern day retelling, with Lizzie Bennet as a grad school communications major creating video diaries based on her life. Darcy owns a digital tech company (as does Ricky Collins), Bing Lee (okay, the name feels a little much for me but hey) is a trust fund med student, Catherine de Bourgh is a venture capitalist, Charlotte is a fellow grad student and the video diaries’ editor. Lydia is a party girl and Jane is ridiculously kind (too kind for a realistic character, if you ask me). Kitty is a literal cat and Mary is a cousin. It’s all so fun.

It doesn’t always work, though. Jane Austen is subtle, as was the web series in its own way--yes, the videos are fully from Lizzie’s perspective, and her status as the “prejudice” leads to broad-stroked renderings of events, but there is still that certain surprise at Darcy’s interest and all the miscommunications. The book finds a lack of the subtlety one could argue the videos have in excess. In attempting to hint at Darcy’s interest in Lizzie and explain how it seems Jane could be uninterested in Bing, it makes both entirely too clear. What’s the fun in that?


Still, I’m struck by how clever this retelling is. It doesn’t want, strangely, for a lack of (a traditional) Kitty and Mary in the household, the grad school format works well, and the Ricky Collins plotline is full-on genius. The series totally deserved all of its lauding, and the book is a fun read for those who have and haven’t seen it. (Still, I recommend watching the vids.)


Bottom line: all my Austen-holics out there, go to YouTube and search “lizzie bennet diaries.” You’ll be so happy you did! (Everyone else: become an Austen fan, stat!)

2.5/5

short but technically full review at https://emmareadstoomuch.wordpress.com/2016/10/13/wanderlost-review/; i just don't have that much to say about it. i was a little disappointed when i saw it was another guided-tour-of-europe form of travel book. (the titular similarity to wanderlove, which breaks that cliché, aimed my hopes higher). at least it was european cities that are covered less frequently (i.e., not the usual cycle of rome, paris, etc.). but it wasn't very setting-based, which is obviously a dealbreaker in a travel themed book, and was all around just kinda boring. :(

2/5

oh noooo.
i'm really sorry if i'm upsetting anyone by not liking this book. if it helps, i'm upset, too.

full review @ https://emmareadstoomuch.wordpress.com/2016/10/22/the-darkest-part-of-the-forest-review/

a firm two stars on this one.

this took me forever to read and threw me off on my goodreads challenge :(

when i heard "this book is like a scavenger hunt through time!" my instant reaction was sign me up. i love history and i love scavenger hunts! but there was less time travel than i wanted - what i really wanted was a more setting-oriented narrative, something that would have actually added, you know, history to it. i guess i wish the settings were taken advantage of, both more detailed and more significant to the story itself. also, a scavenger hunt implies more objects than one.

and the characters were pretty flat. i'd heard that there was insta-love, but that's not really how i would describe it. it did take them an almost-appropriate (for YA, at least) amount of time to "love" each other...but they didn't have any traits. they didn't know each other but only because there was nothing to know. that, also, was really boring...and since you guys know that i'm super into my characters, it pretty much cemented this book as no fun for me.

i don't think i'll read the sequel. the narrative doesn't interest me, the characters don't interest me, and the world doesn't interest me.

that being said, i didn't mind bracken's writing style (i especially liked the social justice interjections!) and i'll consider picking up her other stuff in the future.

3.25/5. but a FUN 3.25!!

This book was far from perfect, but hell if it wasn’t a good time. And after two not so fun reads, I needed it!


https://emmareadstoomuch.wordpress.com/2016/10/26/three-dark-crowns-review/

Did I like any of the characters? Uh, not totally. In fact, I hated a bunch of them. (I would physically fight Mirabella and Joseph if I was ever given the chance, and I would like roughly 50% of the characters to line up so I can efficiently slap each of them across the face.) Most of them were super flat--I’d say all of them except Arsinoe, Jules and maybe Pietyr. (That’s pretty insane because there are roughly 200 characters in this book.)


The three queens are not my ideal. I was hoping for a little more badassery in all honesty. Mirabella is an emotional idiot (who became best friends with some rando in a day, which reminded me SO MUCH of my Justin Bieber fanfiction-reading days. Except instead of like, Selena Gomez or Demi Lovato, Mira’s bestie is a shockingly flat priestess). Katharine starts out the same way, and Arsinoe is just kind of...eh. Maybe they'll bond in the next book over their mutual terribleness.


The world building was a little rough, too. This is one of those books that’ll give you a furrowed brow for the first chunk. The whole thing was surprisingly low fantasy for how confusing it was. Props to Blake for not info-dumping, but the weaving in of background was a little slow for my tastes. Also, there are like a bajillion names in this? The map is, though pretty, very confusing, and the time I spent figuring out who Ellis was gave me a headache. And maybe I’m a nerd, but I also just want a history lesson on this world. That’s such a fun part of fantasy books!


Even though this book had a LOT of problems (and didn’t really make it to a lot of the fun stuff they spent the whole time talking about?) it was still pretty fun. So I don’t want to give it a low rating.

I’d be giving this book 3 stars if not for the literal last sentence. It filled me with hope for more bad bitches, gave me a halfhearted belief that maybe (MAYBE) I’ll actually like a certain character next time around, and made me wanna pick up the next book. So it’s not over, folks.


Bottom line: yeah, read this! It’s just a little silly and a little fun, and I’m looking forward to the rest of the books.

"Matt: This is an excellent script. This is the best script I've ever read. If Ben put this here as a joke, if Ben wrote this, then I have severely underestimated his talents.
Ben: Hey, hey check this out! (Ben chugs an entire bottle of Veryfine apple juice.) One motherf*cking sip!
Matt: Okay, Ben did not write this."

It's kind of bonkers that Good Will Hunting, an incredibly touching and brilliantly done film, was written by the original f*ckboys: Matt Damon and Ben Affleck.

Mindy Kaling (!) and Brenda Withers have a different idea of what happened.

It involves a script falling from the ceiling. And it is hilarious. (And gender-bending.)

"Ben: I keyed your car.
Matt: Oh.
Ben: Yeah, and this woman saw me and I didn't want her to call the cops so I, uh, got in your car and pretended like it was my car and that I had just keyed my own car."

It, obviously, could be hard to picture. I'm sure I would give the actual first run of the play five stars. In fact, now I just really wanna see the play. But I'm more than happy to settle for this.

Bottom line: this play should Not be forgotten. It put Mindy Kaling, one of my all-time fave authors, on the map! Bonus, it's so fun. You should totally read this.

(PS: If you're interested, you can see Kaling and Withers perform the beginning of their play at https://youtu.be/Mmi8NTahJCQ?t=34s)