This debut novel leans more into the women’s fiction zone than your typical small town, second chance romance.  Thirty-year old Liz Lewis and her husband, Tobin Renner-Lewis, were very happily in love until the day of their actual wedding.  On the big day, family drama on both sides stole Liz’s joy and left a bitterness behind that has colored her relationship with Tobin ever since.  Liz finally makes the decision to move out to give herself the time and space to reevaluate her life and goals, which may or may not include Tobin.

I have decidedly mixed feelings about this one.  I adore Tobin.  He’s not perfect, but he’s so dang close to being a prince of dreams that none of his flaws mattered to me as a reader.  He is kind, loyal, dependable, earnest, gentle, and always puts his own wants last.  He adores Liz and everything that she is.  Tobin is so great, in fact, that I found myself frustrated if not mad at Liz a majority of the book.

Liz is on the spectrum, which provides context for some of her behaviors like social anxiety, professional skills, and awkward interpersonal relationships with friends and family.  Unfortunately, Liz as written on the page is also insecure, needy, and passive-aggressive.   I quickly lost patience with her and, even at the end of the book, had no understanding why Tobin loved her in the first place.  There is no explanation for Tobin’s devotion after she kept changing her mind about whether or not she wanted to try to make their marriage work, and manipulated his feelings over the course of the narrative.

This book is quite heavy in terms of Liz’s internal struggles to find her “true self” which she has always been uncomfortable acknowledging.  She is plagued with self-doubt as a result of her role in her family of origin and her neurodiversity.  But she is also incredibly melodramatic.  I had to keep reminding myself that she is supposed to be thirty, and not 13.

My takeaway from the story was that Liz desperately needs Tobin, and Tobin has only ever desperately wanted Liz.  He is concerned for her and is willing to sacrifice anything for her.  But they are never equals in their relationship.  She is always coming to him as a jar half empty needing his light and strength to fill her.  I wanted more for Tobin than to be a caretaker to someone who never gets elevated from being a fragile person who will continually struggle to determine what she wants.

Thank you Netgalley and St Martin’s Press for the opportunity to read and review this novel.  All opinions are my own.