“Do anything but bore them or lie to them, and you’ll be okay.”


Stephen A. Smith. An ESPN household name. Accurately self-described as bombastic, you’ll typically come across Stephen A. yelling— I mean speaking passionately— about all matters of things, not just sports, and giving you his hot take, ready to defend everything he says.

I was first ‘introduced’ to Stephen A. through a colleague who would listen to him every afternoon. I learned a lot about sports and “Staying Off the Weeeeeeeeeed!”

Even though I can only take him in small doses, I gotta respect a guy who is willing to tell it like it is. When I saw he had written a book I was interested to hear more about his story. I don’t read much about people in the sporting industry so I decided who better to hear it from than someone who is a ‘straight shooter’?

“Love me or hate me— it’s always one or the other— my story is one about what my world is like and what I’ve learned along the way.”

“You’ll see how love, belief, perseverance, self-awareness, family, friendships, and mentorship can take you places you’ve never been.”


He tells all in this book and walks us through his childhood, his college years, his first jobs, his big break, his suspension, his return, and everything in between. He doesn’t avoid the controversies that have become attached to his name or pretend he’s never made mistakes.

Perhaps he presents himself in a better light than he was (similar to Spare)— I have no way of knowing— but he admits many times where he was wrong or immature. He explains how he learned from his different mistakes and how they made him a better man and a better employee.

Again, I don’t regularly watch his show so I was never keeping up with all the news around him, but he talks briefly about when Max Kellerman left the show and I sense that there is more to that story than he says. He says he has nothing but good things to say about Kellerman and that they just didn’t jive well in the format of the show, but he also goes on to say that they only had one conversation since he left the show. He said it was cordial but working together every day for years and you never speak after that when you both still work at the same place? That doesn’t add up. So I think there’s more there than he lets on.


Overall, I felt like Stephen A. was true to his claims to tell it how it is. The ups and downs, the wins and losses, the success and the hardships that make up his life. He even exposes the many shortcomings (generous word) of his father.

“My mother made me promise that I wouldn’t [write a memoir] until after she died. I had told her I would have to write the truth about everything, including my father. She did not want anyone to read about that while she was alive.”

He kept his promise. His mother died in 2017 after battling colon cancer. The close and deep relationship he had with his mom (or ‘Mommy’ as he refers to her throughout the book) is very evident. He credits his mom for all the success he had because it was her who raised him and his sisters and provided for them.

“My family was not poor because we lacked the funds to live better— my father had a steady job and my mother worked… We were poor because my dad had another family on the side… That’s where he spent all his money, when he wasn’t gambling.”

His dad was a piece of work who continually took advantage of his family until his final day. It shows that Stephen A. had a lot of resilience and funneled those hardships into hard work, determination, grit, and a ‘don’t take no for an answer’ attitude. He was going to make something of himself and he was going to be a better man than his father- to be the man of the house and to provide for his family.

I think my favorite moment in the book was when he landed his first big contract and drives to see his mom to tell her- “It’s my turn now.”



If you’re familiar with Stephen A. Smith you probably already know that he did not play sports professionally and really didn’t even play them in high school or college save a stint at Winston-Salem. His basketball career ended when he blew out his knees.

But that did not stop him from advancing in life. He was already preparing to enter the broadcasting and journalism industry. He had his sights set on the ‘World Wide Leader in Sports’ and was going to do whatever it took to get there.

He talks a lot about his first jobs at newspapers and covering high school sports. He even covered the crime beat in NY for awhile.

His older brother, Basil, died in a car accident in 1992, but had told Stephen A.: ‘You’re going to be a household name.’

“Those words would push me during the years that followed whenever I felt too tired, too frustrated, too apprehensive, too apathetic, or even just too pleasantly distracted.”



Many reviewers say that the book read like a long resume, listing all of his jobs and accomplishments. And I suppose in a way that’s accurate. But I’m not sure it’s contrary to what I would expect to read about. People typically want to know ‘What did it take for you to make it?’ ‘What brought you to where you are today?’ And I felt like this book tells us exactly that.

I did get a little bored in some parts and the name-dropping did nothing for me because I don’t even know who most of the people were (except the obvious ones).

I do think he gives a lot of insight on how he became successful in a business like he’s in. How to become a TV personality. How to be valuable. And why he is the way he is.

Here are some of those things:

“Be impactful. That’s the difference between an employee and a talent… it was never enough for me just to do a job well— everything I did had to have an impact. I wanted to become someone whom nobody else could be like. And who wouldn’t be forgotten. I wanted to do stories that would guarantee that I would never be expendable.”

“Being connected to the same street element that a lot of the players were connected to helped make me an unorthodox journalist.”

“Everybody’s watching what I’m watching, so if I soft-pedaled an opinion about something I saw, viewers would see right through it and view me as something less than ‘real,’ and authenticity has been in short supply throughout the industry for years. That just wasn’t me.”

“I’d forgotten to ask myself if what I want is consistent with the bottom line of the company that’s paying me. If the answer is no, then the only thing you can do is accept the rules of the game until you gain enough influence to change them.”

“I never liked making enemies; I just don’t care if I have any.”

As he mentioned often, First Take (his big break and current show on ESPN), is a debate format show. The purpose is to debate which requires opposing viewpoints and arguing. It wouldn’t be a show if the two hosts agreed on everything. This format is where he really thrives because he always has an opinion and he knows his stuff.

I gotta say, as a woman, I’m not sure this format would work the same if it was all women. I think this often about sports— men somehow can yell at each other and debate and play rough sports and all that and still be friends at the end of it. I’m sure there are women who are able to do it without taking offense, but I’m just sitting over here like- Uh-oh… Are they mad at each other? Are their feelings hurt? Are they still friends?

Stephen A. did confirm- he never took anything personally and he was friends with both Skip Bayless and Kellerman when they were on the show.

He makes an interesting remark about his demeanor as a black man that gave me something to reflect on: “In my business, if you’re white and loud, you’re passionate. If you’re black and loud, you’re angry.”

I’m not sure what I think about this but I’ve contemplated my own reaction to someone talking loud, whether it’s sports news or reality shows, and trying to gauge- do I perceive differently loud black vs loud white people? Do I attribute anger or passion disproportionately? I don’t know, but it’s definitely something to be aware of and if it’s true, it makes me wonder why it would be like that?

It really is impressive what he can do. Whether you love him or hate him, you can see how his show would get high ratings.


He talked often about desiring to see more diversity (black people) at ESPN or in prominent positions of success. I feel like ESPN has been pretty diverse for awhile. I don’t think I’ve ever watched anything sports-related that has been all or really even mostly white.

Now the men to women ratio is the biggest disparity. Which frankly, makes sense. Women in general do not care as much about or aren’t as interested in sports as men. So the percentage of applicants to employees checks out. But I’m guessing it’s a lot harder to be a woman in Stephen A. Smith’s industry than a black man.

I’d be interested in reading a book from a woman who works with ESPN and get her take on the environment and the challenges she had to face.


One thing that I like and respect about Stephen A. Smith is that he seems to really think for himself. He says he’s politically independent, and I’m apt to believe him. He regularly calls himself an unapologetic black man and champions the success and advancement of black people in all industries, but he is not out there to just appease the black community. He takes it seriously to represent black people well, but some of his takes have offended even black people. He’s not a yes-man.

He writes about his interview with Trump and his opinion of him (“an utter disgrace” because he was not a president for the people but only for the people who voted for him) but he also backs the funding of police. He also regularly admonishes players for their drug usage.

“I had friends who got caught up in the drug game. They were shot and killed, became addicts, or ended up in jail. Those appeared to be the only three options in the drug game.”

I’m not sure if he’s exactly in the middle, but true independents are hard to come by and he seems as close as any. I think true independents are the most interesting because they don’t necessarily follow the narrative of a political party. I’d be curious to know more about what platforms from each side he picks to make up his politics.

I don’t agree with everything he says, but from what I’ve seen his opinions are mostly thoughtful not impulsive. Authentic and not pandering.

And he’s gotten himself into trouble. Which is really not that hard in today’s culture because every little word is scrutinized and people are ready to pounce and call for your head or at the very least, your job. He knows that firsthand.

I get the money-making, shareholder appeasing part of corporate America, but at the same time I’m tired of it. I’m tired of people being forced to apologize for saying something that offended someone, even if what they said was true.

He quotes Wake Forest soccer coach Coach Chyzowych who said, “Call it like it is. You’re not in the business to be liked. You’re in the business to be respected. Honesty, integrity, and fairness is what gets you respect. Not being liked.”

Again, I don’t agree with everything Stephen A. says, but I admire that he does not accept the position where he only says what will get him high fives.



One thing that I don’t respect (with the knowledge I have) about Stephen A. Smith is my own hot take. And it’s personal. But he talks about it in his book so I feel like it’s fair game.

He says, “I’ve never married, partly because I’m usually on the road for well over half the year, but mainly because I’ve never wanted to dishonor my marital vows, as my father did so flagrantly.”

I can respect this. If you don’t think you can keep your marital vows, don’t get married. That’s all fine and good. But he’s got two daughters with different mothers. Even if they didn’t make it ‘official’ how is this any different from breaking vows? You have one daughter, but then, essentially, he did go and have another family.

A major difference is that he clearly loves his daughters and everything he does is for them and their future, unlike his dad. I don’t doubt his love for his daughters. That seems very evident with the way he talks about them.

My issue is that he seems to think he has found a loophole that is really not a loophole. He is open about the time in his life where he was basically a womanizer. Not settling down, just chasing beautiful women when it was convenient. After he had his daughter that changed for him. But apparently not for long, because he had a second daughter with a second woman.

I know. I don’t have the whole story and I’m not claiming to know anything. Maybe the mothers of his daughters did not want to marry him or be with him anymore. That very well could be. I just felt like from the beginning Stephen A. Smith lamented his broken family and desired to not replicate that himself. I would just challenge that dishonoring can happen whether there is a piece of paper involved or not and that that does hurt people. He experienced it as a child and I would bet that his daughters might have some of the same feelings he did. Today’s culture is trying to eliminate the nuclear family and make it seem like all forms of family are equally ideal and beneficial, but that’s just simply not true.



The last part of the book is a recollection of his serious bout of Covid that was exacerbated by pneumonia. It was a near-death experience for him that really caused him to reflect on his life and change some things.

He never downplayed the priority of work in his life. He was more than dedicated to his work and spent many long hours doing his job and traveling for it.

“Success breeds a lot of things. But what it often breeds most is an insatiable appetite to keep succeeding.”

“My definition of ‘winning’ had to change.”

I’m glad he came to this realization when he could still make changes. He lamented all the family events he missed and the memories he wasn’t able to make. It’s not an easy thing to change your definition of winning, because it’s not like everyone else is doing it.

To people in general, fame and fortune is the marker of winning. Stephen A. had that. But he admitted that it didn’t satisfy. Because people are more important than money. People are more important than recognition on TV or on social media.

If more people changed their definition of ‘winning’ I think the world would be a better place!



Recommendation

If you enjoy reading memoirs, I think you’ll like this book. It may be a different kind of celebrity than you’re used to reading about because sports is a bit niche in terms of books, but it’s always interesting to read about successful people’s lives, their backgrounds, and what led to their success.

I think sports-interested people will enjoy this more than others, but you don’t have to care about sports to get something out of it. It’s not really a book that puts sports on a pedestal or even breaks down any particular game or match.

Sports is his job, but there’s a lot more that makes up the person of Stephen A. Smith and you’ll find that in these pages.



[Side note: Does the subtitle bother anyone else? I think it would be better to say First Takes and Second Chances than Second Chances and First Takes…. because First comes before Second… that’s Sports 101.]

[Content Advisory: many d-words, and a few f- and s-words; no sexual content]