In a phrase, 'Guardians of Atlantis' is Magic School Bus for adults if Magic School Bus was sci-fi and Ms. Frizzle was a Saudi Prince.

This is an adventure story, so you have to go into it expecting and wanting an 'all plot, no vibes' kind of book. And indeed, that was what I was in the mood for and it was exactly what I got.

Who are the characters and what makes them tick? Well, one of them is a freshly fired American working as a tour guide in Cairo (he will proceed to fail upwards for the remainder of the story), the other is another American, a girlie in Cairo on vacation between her Bachelors and Masters in zoology. She is also a 10. We are reminded of this several many times. It's important to the plot maybe...probably...

Anyway, it doesn't really matter who they are because we aren't here for them, we're here because we want to go on a fun, National Treasure-style adventure but with magic/aliens (?).

And the author, Rick Chesler, just really let his imagination go wild in this one because once we get underneath one of the pyramids, things just start happening and then don't stop happening pretty much for the rest of the book. These things include, but are by no means limited to:

And that's just most of the 'creature-features' and includes none of the other shenanigans. And make no mistake: there are many, many shenanigans including some somewhat dubious physics.

The funniest part about the breakneck speed to me was how it left basically zero time for the characters to react to anything that happens, which at times verged on almost campy. Especially the woolly mammoth bit. Possibly also the Ammit bit depending on how dark you like your campy humor. Like, these absolutely wild, wild, life-changing, earth-shattering, unbelievably insane things happen to them and all they have a chance to say about it is 'wow' before the next unimaginably unhinged thing happens.

Again, coming from my background as an avid fan of campy mid-2000s shonen anime, this was right up my street.

It's made apparent at the end that this entire episode serves the function of setting up a series of books in this vein with these characters, and I'm sure it is/will be super fun, but that does force this story to come to an end somewhat abruptly in order to leave space for that set-up.

Chesler obviously had a really fun time researching for this book because he couldn't help sprinkling in very unnecessary, very obvious exposition and fun facts throughout (e.g. why the science team at the beginning has this specific type of dog as a sled dog, an array of facts about the pyramids, Egyptian beliefs and rituals, etc.). I've read enough fanfiction in my time to find this kind of info-dumping charming and delightful. I recognize, however, that some might find it inelegant and clunky, and that is a completely justifiable quibble that is worth pointing out when evaluating the writing and organization on a technical level, it just didn't bother me personally.

Right, so, in summation: is the math mathing in 'Guardians of Atlantis'? Absolutely not. The math ain't mathing, the science ain't sciencing, but Chesler cared enough to give it a good varnish of reality on top. The story remains at a 10 from about page twenty, and if you squint too hard none of it really adds up, but like, come on, this wasn't meant to be taken too seriously; it's meant to take you for a ride...at about 200 miles an hour.

So: seatbelts, everyone! This will not be a normal fieldtrip.

Side note It's pretty hilarious that in a book like this the most unbelievable thing is that a girlie travelling alone unblinkingly decided to accept a ride from a car full of guys she didn't know. Oh, Chester, my lad. You sweet summer child. Thank you for momentarily letting us into your personal utopia. May the real world one day reflect this beautiful fantasy.