Book safety, content warnings, and tropes & tags down below.

“Forever and for always, little one. I promise.”

This book definitely isn’t like most ‘normal’ romances, but it was still beautiful, sweet and romantic at times. I saw someone describe this book as detailing Avery’s journey of healing, and that is very accurate. It’s a slow burn in every way. Avery isn’t magically healed by meeting his love interest, and he isn’t completely healed by the end of the book either. He is ready to scale back his therapy appointments, which is huge for him. Avery has suffered a lot of abuse and abandonment in his life, and I feel like this book shows what could be a relatively realistic look at recovery and healing. His depression, anxiety and PTSD isn’t romanticized at all.

It’s another abject failure on my part that I can’t ever measure up to what he wants, what he needs. And it hurts more than I ever could have imagined.

I’m sure this book won’t be for everyone. It can feel a little repetitive. Avery’s improvements happen so slowly that you will barely notice, until one day Noah makes him feel safe instead of afraid. Avery is very emotional, and might spend more time with tears in his eyes than not during the book, honestly. I don’t mind sad boys, even the slightly OTT emotional ones, but I know it’s not for everyone. Especially early one, he is treated a bit like a child by the people in his life. ‘Kiddo’ and ‘buddy’ are common endearments, but it’s scaled back a little as we see Avery take more control over his own healing and trying to get better. Those around him still definitely treat him as a kid brother, but not at the same level as early on. I actually enjoyed this changing dynamic.

“I kiss you because you are the most adorable man under the sun. And because you taste delicious. And because I like it. Do you want me to stop?” I sigh and lean into him, my chin on his chest, still holding his gaze. “No,” I say simply.

Noah however, even if he uses similar endearments sometimes (my favorite is ‘Little one’), treats Avery like a competent adult. He has infinite patience and never gives up on Avery. He doesn’t let him push him away, yet still respect his boundaries. He pushes when it’s necessary, and backs off when needed. He was definitely emotionally mature and uncomplicated, and I think that’s how it needed to be, considering how complicated Avery’s character is.

Try telling the seven-year-old me that the beatings would eventually come less frequently but never stop, because he would never be worthy of that, and see if he wouldn’t rather swing freely from the end of a rope. If only I were convinced I wouldn’t mess it up, I’d do it right now.

The way Avery thought about himself was heartbreaking. Seeing him finally believe the good things as well was kinda beautiful. If you’re looking for spice, this book isn’t it. It deals heavily with fear and body insecurity/low self esteem, and as a result, they take things very slowly. There is one explicit scene, but they don’t go ‘all the way’ on page. I didn’t really mind, as it was clear the characters (Avery, mostly) wasn’t ready by the end of the book.

It won’t be a full five stars for me because it did get a little repetitive, and because we didn’t get an epilogue. That is honestly one if those things that bothers me so much when reading. I want a glimpse into the characters HEA.

Blanket spoiler warning ⬇️

⚠️ Tropes & tags ⚠️
Past trauma
Slow burn
Therapy
Size difference
Strangers to friends
Friends to lovers
Found family

⚠️⚠️ Content warning ⚠️⚠️
Explicit sexual content
Verbal abuse
Physical abuse
PTSD
Anxiety disorder
Medication
Mentions of suicide (side character, in the past)
Suicidal ideation

⚠️⚠️⚠️ Book safety ⚠️⚠️⚠️
Cheating: No
OM drama: No
Third-act breakup: No
POV: 1st person, single POV
Strict roles or versatile: N/A

Finally I’ve had enough. I throw a pillow at Sam, who’s reclining on the other end of the couch. For all that it’s called a “throw’ pillow, it doesn’t sail through the air very majestically.

“Double or nothing, winner takes all,” he dares me. I laugh. “Noah, we haven’t bet anything.” “Don’t distract me with semantics.”