I will have to write this review later. I have a lot to convey but I don't know how to do it at the moment. The content of this book was very heavy, definitely check trigger warnings. One thing that isn't explicitly called out in the warnings related to death of parent:

The main character's wife dies during child birth

. 
Things I do want to say before I edit my review:
- if you don't see the parallels between their society and our own, you are dense. 
- I loved the pop quiz device the author used
- it made sense to me when I realized the author also writes poetry because this was one of few books that had me sobbing
- the concept of where we put the love for someone we no longer have was well explored