Tentative 3

The reveal about Kitris, Emmaline, and The Lady was not entirely out of left field, but Nelson still struggles with characterization for unpleasant people. Tense or confrontational conversations still tend to feel stilted.

Max is a decent lead, though, and the world continues to be intriguing. The mystery of the city is probably the most interesting thing about the worldbuilding, and I hope it leads to something good.

I'm a little less sure of Bryce--I'd like to see him gain more depth soon, or I'll start to lose real interest in him as a lead.