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A review by eggcatsreads
Vault of Souls by Josephine Angelini
Did not finish book. Stopped at 42%.
I think I may have to DNF this book at about the 42% mark. There were a few things that didn’t work for me, but notably the first thing that caught me off guard is that the race of slaves described in this book are all lighter-skinned than those who own them - and this is mentioned quite a few times. I only found one other review mentioning the possible racism in this book, and really tried to continue reading to give the book a fair chance since this isn’t a large author or publisher(*this statement isn't true, but I found out later), but I do want to include this in my review so no other readers are caught off guard. I really think this book should have at least one, or a few, sensitivity readers added to it before the final product, as I think the concept of this book could be good if we removed the uncomfortable undercurrent of racism running throughout it.
I tried to continue reading past this initial point without too much judgment, hoping that it was just shaky worldbuilding, but this specific trait kept coming up. It also feels a bit odd that so many named characters are intentionally described as being “mixed” and this being obvious by their lighter skin, and that so many of the antagonists in this book are not. I’m not saying this was intentional, but it just didn’t sit right with me that an entire race of people - quite literally called “The Peaceful People” - live in forests, have no words for war, and are regularly enslaved by those with darker skin than them because they’re too peace-loving to fight back. It just feels like a really weird combination of the “noble savage” trope, as well as the idea that light-skin is somehow related to morality.
After the first part that specifically mentioned a character’s darker skin forcibly relating him to the literal race of slave-owners - the first mention of skin color in this book - it caught me so off guard that I started highlighting every mention of skin color after this point.
–
I’m reading this book as an advanced copy, so any quotes I’m including are subject to change or not be included in the final product. However, they were in my copy so I’m relating them here.
“Rif-Atten was <i>nearly as dark as a Ninelander </i>[group of people keeping the U-ru-ku as slaves], but he was U-ru-ku through and through, and eager to prove that fact <i>because of his coloring.</i>” - 3%
"'Are you part U-ru-ku or Chean?' Morrigan asked, noting his slightly <i>light-toned skin</i>. He was certainly <i>dark enough, </i>but surely there was more in his blood than upper-kingdom stock." - 9%
“All the slaves are fetched, that’s why they’re <i>so pale and fair. Bleached,</i> they are. <i>Without color or substance. </i>You can practically <i>see through them.”</i>
"Loren noticed the large man had just had a haircut. A thin strip of <i>pale skin </i>ringed his neck on an otherwise <i>deeply and carefully darkened complexion."</i>
The king (described with <i>”dark skin and hair -”</i>) who the enslaved woman at the beginning of this book was over twice her age when he bought her at 15. I’m mostly including this due to the fact that this isn’t the first time one of the people in this slave-owning society (remember, they all have dark skin) is attracted to or enters a sexual relationship with someone younger than them. It never says with the second person if the age is as concerning as a 15 year old, but it’s implied this second relationship is consensual despite the power imbalance. (There’s also a prince who marries and then assaults a girl of 16 (who is described as being as light as the race of slaves, even!) later in the book. This is seen as bad within the narrative of the book, but the visual of a violent darker skinned man assaulting a white woman didn’t help my initial feelings of unchecked racism within this book).
Mentioning the other man having an inappropriate sexual relationship with one of those of the enslaved race:
“You see, Senalin? He may have lived among the most egregious of slavers, but he doesn’t judge you for <i>your light skin. Rather, he judges me for robbing the cradle.”</i> -10%
–
Now, the undercurrent of racism throughout wasn’t the only thing that put me off from this book, but it did sour the rest of my reading experience and make me less willing to forgive other slights and mistakes. I got the entirety through part one, and I felt not only were there too many POV characters, but that their chapters were mixed and included in a strange way. Timelines are all over the place, with one chapter happening and then another chapter either occurring before or after this chapter, but with no way to tell one way or the other. And then these two competing timelines would fight with each other, and so in the end I simply had no idea what was going on. This is not the final draft of this book, so it’s possible that the final product will add a timeline to each chapter heading, but since mine did not have one I was never certain who was doing what at any given time.
I also felt like there was almost no explanation within this book to tell you what was going on. Brand new words and concepts would just appear and be spoken about, with not even an internal definition or any way for the reader to figure out what these characters were talking about. There is a page that gives character names, and while I believe a glossary would have not been amiss, practically every fantasy book I’ve read (even those with a glossary) usually give a brief in-world definition of new terms to allow the reader to easily follow along. I’m not asking to be info-dumped at every given moment, but I feel like this book went too far in the opposite direction to the point that I was reading entire chapters without understanding what was going on, what these worlds meant, or how it was even relevant.
I think this, combined with how clunky the writing and dialogue itself was at times, that finally made my decision to stop reading entirely. Much of the writing itself felt awkwardly phrased, and concepts were written about in a very awkward fashion, that at many times it took me out of the story itself.
For instance, this was one of the first times that made me quite literally pause and reread what I just read, as it was so awkwardly written.
<i>“Sky’s face was passive. It’s not that she didn’t feel compassion, only that she had been trained in the Queensguard to cycle through such emotions quickly and without conscience. Sometimes Morrign felt a twinge of guilt about that.
‘The threat of war has done what nothing else ever has, then?’ Morrigan said and her guilty thoughts quickly turned to worry. She, too, had served a term in the Queensguard before her mother died and she had been forced to rise to the throne. And as such, Morrigan had been trained to cycle through emotions as rapidly as Sky had.”</i>
There are quite a few sections with information this awkwardly included, but this was the first and most noticeable that I had to make a note of. As I continued to read, I just tried to focus on reading/finishing the book rather than continuing to make notes as it wound up not being conducive to attempting to finish reading.
Finally, the characterization of a few of the women in this book kind of felt sexist-adjacent “not like other girls” to me - which isn’t the biggest issue, but since I’m including my other reasons for not finishing this book I’m including it here.
The Queen is described as only being in her 30s, and yet, somehow, this makes her “old enough” to not be “jealous” of Sky’s beauty. (Because all women are in competition with each other for looks, and for some reason being over 30 means you must be too old to care). The chapters that included both the Queen and/or Sky were very awkward at points, and at times it felt like the author was speaking to me, directly, about how women are just as capable as men. It felt less like worldbuilding and more like “inserting strong female characters into this sexist world to be better than the men, haha!”
The last instance of this before I quit reading, was when Sky seemingly took over an outpost and “figured all that out in less time than it takes most men here to find the shitter.” Not that competence isn’t realistic, but it is unrealistic for her to be seemingly great at everything she does without effort. Her entire character just felt very “the way Marvel writes strong women,” as opposed to anything else.
I’ll end my writing women rant with two quotes I highlighted when we met the Queen, here.
<i>“A fetching knitting needle, as if those who wished her dead felt they needed to mock her for being a woman. It still irked Morrigan to think about. Especially since she had no idea how to knit in the first place.” </i> Ah, yes. Only weak women knit.
<i>”The misogynists and slavers were aligning, and it wouldn’t be long before they collapsed upon her.”</i> - I’m mostly including this one, because it is insane to me to equate being sexist with owning literal human beings.
–
Now, I’d be willing to continue this book and give it more of a chance - especially if some sensitivity readers are added to hopefully curb some of the (hopefully) unintentional racism throughout. I don’t think I’ll have time to come back to this book, to see how it ends or how I feel about it, however, since it was only available through the Netgalley app and not on my Kindle, so I may have to simply end my reading where I did. Despite my harsh review, I do think this book has a lot of potential, and that it could have come together in a very coherent and beautiful way that I just simply haven’t gotten to yet since I DNF’d it. There were quite a few parts I did enjoy reading, but unfortunately the rest of it was soured by my issues I wrote about above. I feel a bit bad about how harsh my review currently is, but like I stated before I didn’t want anyone else being caught off guard by the potential racism present from the first few pages, like it did to me.
Thank you to Netgalley and Victory Editing for providing an arc in exchange for an honest review.
* I'd like to add that I was under the impression that this was an indie/small author, based on how I received this from Netgalley, the writing itself, as well as the author and book descriptions. I have since learned that this isn't true, but this belief did severely lighten my criticism within this book, as I was under the impression it was simply one person who may not have realized how harmful the ideas she had written were, and wanted to leave space open for it being addressed and corrected properly.
Also, when I had written my review, not a single other review mentioned the racism present in this book, and myself being white, I was worried that I was somehow imagining the harmful messages in this book or being overly sensitive, and was wary about overstepping in some way. Knowing what I know now, however, I absolutely would have been harsher in my criticism of the racist worldbuilding and would have not let multiple positive reviews to have me gaslight myself into not believing what I was reading in front of me.
I'm leaving my review as I originally wrote it, but I did want to include some context for how softly I tried to critique this book, as well as addressing that I had not done my proper research on this author before (incorrectly) assuming it was an indie/small/debut author.
I tried to continue reading past this initial point without too much judgment, hoping that it was just shaky worldbuilding, but this specific trait kept coming up. It also feels a bit odd that so many named characters are intentionally described as being “mixed” and this being obvious by their lighter skin, and that so many of the antagonists in this book are not. I’m not saying this was intentional, but it just didn’t sit right with me that an entire race of people - quite literally called “The Peaceful People” - live in forests, have no words for war, and are regularly enslaved by those with darker skin than them because they’re too peace-loving to fight back. It just feels like a really weird combination of the “noble savage” trope, as well as the idea that light-skin is somehow related to morality.
After the first part that specifically mentioned a character’s darker skin forcibly relating him to the literal race of slave-owners - the first mention of skin color in this book - it caught me so off guard that I started highlighting every mention of skin color after this point.
–
I’m reading this book as an advanced copy, so any quotes I’m including are subject to change or not be included in the final product. However, they were in my copy so I’m relating them here.
“Rif-Atten was <i>nearly as dark as a Ninelander </i>[group of people keeping the U-ru-ku as slaves], but he was U-ru-ku through and through, and eager to prove that fact <i>because of his coloring.</i>” - 3%
"'Are you part U-ru-ku or Chean?' Morrigan asked, noting his slightly <i>light-toned skin</i>. He was certainly <i>dark enough, </i>but surely there was more in his blood than upper-kingdom stock." - 9%
“All the slaves are fetched, that’s why they’re <i>so pale and fair. Bleached,</i> they are. <i>Without color or substance. </i>You can practically <i>see through them.”</i>
"Loren noticed the large man had just had a haircut. A thin strip of <i>pale skin </i>ringed his neck on an otherwise <i>deeply and carefully darkened complexion."</i>
The king (described with <i>”dark skin and hair -”</i>) who the enslaved woman at the beginning of this book was over twice her age when he bought her at 15. I’m mostly including this due to the fact that this isn’t the first time one of the people in this slave-owning society (remember, they all have dark skin) is attracted to or enters a sexual relationship with someone younger than them. It never says with the second person if the age is as concerning as a 15 year old, but it’s implied this second relationship is consensual despite the power imbalance. (There’s also a prince who marries and then assaults a girl of 16 (who is described as being as light as the race of slaves, even!) later in the book. This is seen as bad within the narrative of the book, but the visual of a violent darker skinned man assaulting a white woman didn’t help my initial feelings of unchecked racism within this book).
Mentioning the other man having an inappropriate sexual relationship with one of those of the enslaved race:
“You see, Senalin? He may have lived among the most egregious of slavers, but he doesn’t judge you for <i>your light skin. Rather, he judges me for robbing the cradle.”</i> -10%
–
Now, the undercurrent of racism throughout wasn’t the only thing that put me off from this book, but it did sour the rest of my reading experience and make me less willing to forgive other slights and mistakes. I got the entirety through part one, and I felt not only were there too many POV characters, but that their chapters were mixed and included in a strange way. Timelines are all over the place, with one chapter happening and then another chapter either occurring before or after this chapter, but with no way to tell one way or the other. And then these two competing timelines would fight with each other, and so in the end I simply had no idea what was going on. This is not the final draft of this book, so it’s possible that the final product will add a timeline to each chapter heading, but since mine did not have one I was never certain who was doing what at any given time.
I also felt like there was almost no explanation within this book to tell you what was going on. Brand new words and concepts would just appear and be spoken about, with not even an internal definition or any way for the reader to figure out what these characters were talking about. There is a page that gives character names, and while I believe a glossary would have not been amiss, practically every fantasy book I’ve read (even those with a glossary) usually give a brief in-world definition of new terms to allow the reader to easily follow along. I’m not asking to be info-dumped at every given moment, but I feel like this book went too far in the opposite direction to the point that I was reading entire chapters without understanding what was going on, what these worlds meant, or how it was even relevant.
I think this, combined with how clunky the writing and dialogue itself was at times, that finally made my decision to stop reading entirely. Much of the writing itself felt awkwardly phrased, and concepts were written about in a very awkward fashion, that at many times it took me out of the story itself.
For instance, this was one of the first times that made me quite literally pause and reread what I just read, as it was so awkwardly written.
<i>“Sky’s face was passive. It’s not that she didn’t feel compassion, only that she had been trained in the Queensguard to cycle through such emotions quickly and without conscience. Sometimes Morrign felt a twinge of guilt about that.
‘The threat of war has done what nothing else ever has, then?’ Morrigan said and her guilty thoughts quickly turned to worry. She, too, had served a term in the Queensguard before her mother died and she had been forced to rise to the throne. And as such, Morrigan had been trained to cycle through emotions as rapidly as Sky had.”</i>
There are quite a few sections with information this awkwardly included, but this was the first and most noticeable that I had to make a note of. As I continued to read, I just tried to focus on reading/finishing the book rather than continuing to make notes as it wound up not being conducive to attempting to finish reading.
Finally, the characterization of a few of the women in this book kind of felt sexist-adjacent “not like other girls” to me - which isn’t the biggest issue, but since I’m including my other reasons for not finishing this book I’m including it here.
The Queen is described as only being in her 30s, and yet, somehow, this makes her “old enough” to not be “jealous” of Sky’s beauty. (Because all women are in competition with each other for looks, and for some reason being over 30 means you must be too old to care). The chapters that included both the Queen and/or Sky were very awkward at points, and at times it felt like the author was speaking to me, directly, about how women are just as capable as men. It felt less like worldbuilding and more like “inserting strong female characters into this sexist world to be better than the men, haha!”
The last instance of this before I quit reading, was when Sky seemingly took over an outpost and “figured all that out in less time than it takes most men here to find the shitter.” Not that competence isn’t realistic, but it is unrealistic for her to be seemingly great at everything she does without effort. Her entire character just felt very “the way Marvel writes strong women,” as opposed to anything else.
I’ll end my writing women rant with two quotes I highlighted when we met the Queen, here.
<i>“A fetching knitting needle, as if those who wished her dead felt they needed to mock her for being a woman. It still irked Morrigan to think about. Especially since she had no idea how to knit in the first place.” </i> Ah, yes. Only weak women knit.
<i>”The misogynists and slavers were aligning, and it wouldn’t be long before they collapsed upon her.”</i> - I’m mostly including this one, because it is insane to me to equate being sexist with owning literal human beings.
–
Now, I’d be willing to continue this book and give it more of a chance - especially if some sensitivity readers are added to hopefully curb some of the (hopefully) unintentional racism throughout. I don’t think I’ll have time to come back to this book, to see how it ends or how I feel about it, however, since it was only available through the Netgalley app and not on my Kindle, so I may have to simply end my reading where I did. Despite my harsh review, I do think this book has a lot of potential, and that it could have come together in a very coherent and beautiful way that I just simply haven’t gotten to yet since I DNF’d it. There were quite a few parts I did enjoy reading, but unfortunately the rest of it was soured by my issues I wrote about above. I feel a bit bad about how harsh my review currently is, but like I stated before I didn’t want anyone else being caught off guard by the potential racism present from the first few pages, like it did to me.
Thank you to Netgalley and Victory Editing for providing an arc in exchange for an honest review.
* I'd like to add that I was under the impression that this was an indie/small author, based on how I received this from Netgalley, the writing itself, as well as the author and book descriptions. I have since learned that this isn't true, but this belief did severely lighten my criticism within this book, as I was under the impression it was simply one person who may not have realized how harmful the ideas she had written were, and wanted to leave space open for it being addressed and corrected properly.
Also, when I had written my review, not a single other review mentioned the racism present in this book, and myself being white, I was worried that I was somehow imagining the harmful messages in this book or being overly sensitive, and was wary about overstepping in some way. Knowing what I know now, however, I absolutely would have been harsher in my criticism of the racist worldbuilding and would have not let multiple positive reviews to have me gaslight myself into not believing what I was reading in front of me.
I'm leaving my review as I originally wrote it, but I did want to include some context for how softly I tried to critique this book, as well as addressing that I had not done my proper research on this author before (incorrectly) assuming it was an indie/small/debut author.