Challenging, emotional, dark, incredible. 

Warning: this is not an easy read. There were times I had to pause, and take a breath, or contemplate what was being said. It is very triggering for many reasons, quite graphic in detail, and for this reason I imagine is very difficult for a lot of readers. 

One thing I did not expect from this read was how nuanced it would be written. This is not a sob story where someone is feeling forced to sell their journey as trauma porn for others to feel something over. This is a delicate, intelligent, and well thought out commentary on the society we live in, toxic masculinity, the fickle nature of sexuality, the social and physical effects of childhood trauma, the attraction of dangerous volunteers to risky roles, the court system, the police, feminism, and generational trauma (to name just a few!) 

At one point, Alan touched upon a particularly sore spot for me that I was not expecting to appear at all. But his conversational voice and facts presented reminded me the reader that survivors of trauma exist everywhere in so many forms and we all have learned lessons that have value when we are ready to reach out and discuss it with others. 

I'm so glad to have picked the audio book version, which added another level of expertly guided feelings by Alan. He is a fantastic voice, and had me crying on many many bus journeys and walks.

An incredible last line that will stick with me for a long time as well. I wish for many of my friends and family members to read this.