This book turned out to be quite different from what I initially anticipated. While there were sections I genuinely appreciated, others left me feeling dissatisfied.

The author bravely tackles deeply personal and sometimes uncomfortable subjects, particularly his own tumultuous relationship with death. It’s evident that the trauma of losing loved ones and experiencing abandonment during his childhood has profoundly shaped his identity. I can't help but think that seeking professional counselling could offer him valuable insights and healing.

Moreover, I have significant concerns about the death industry—its increasingly impersonal nature and the way funerals often feel like assembly line processes. The costs seem to rise relentlessly, stripping away the individuality that should characterize such a meaningful farewell.

In our contemporary society, particularly in the Western world, we’ve grown increasingly detached from the reality of death. With longer life expectancies and an ageing population, many of us aren’t faced with the loss of a loved one until we reach adulthood, leading to experiences that feel more clinical and sterile. Therefore, I believe that any discussion or exploration of alternative, more personalized methods of memorializing our deceased—especially those that consider environmental impact—is incredibly valuable.

The author raises many points that resonate with me. I wholeheartedly agree that we should reject the notion of venerating the deceased as infallible, perfect beings. The reality is that we are complex, often flawed individuals, and it's essential for those left behind to remember this truth. Acknowledging both the good and the bad in our loved ones can help alleviate the pressure to forgive indiscriminately or to only cherish the positive memories.

However, there are problematic aspects as well. I don't believe in a binary mindset regarding ceremonies. If individuals prefer a traditional religious service, a more reserved approach, or even cremation, that’s absolutely valid. People who feel overwhelmed by the thought of planning and executing a funeral often need to honour their preferences without judgment. Their methods of commemorating the deceased should never be seen as inferior to anyone else's.

It’s also important to recognize the author’s privileged background. His father’s wealth afforded him opportunities and experiences that many people in our society simply don’t have access to, which undoubtedly influenced his perspectives.

In summary, I believe there is no singular correct approach to experiencing death; each individual’s journey is valid and deserving of respect. We urgently need more open conversations about death—what we desire for ourselves and how we wish to honour those we’ve lost. Normalizing this basic human experience can shed light on our preferences for end-of-life decisions, both for ourselves and in our grief.

While this book didn’t entirely meet my expectations, it does join a growing collection of literature that thoughtfully engages with death and memorialization. I want to express my gratitude to the author, the publishers, and NetGalley for providing me with an advanced copy of this book.