I picked this up on recommendation of weird but you will like it romance. I have picked up and enjoyed dark, forbidden, taboo, gritty romances previously, so it is not that I cannot enjoy a book like this. However the 'initiation' activity part of this book, was so uncomfortable to me it completely over shadowed all the interest, plot and relationship building in the rest of the book. What is even more frustrating is that for the rest of the story to work it did not need to be as bad as it was. As the rest of the book while never being a classic in the making or a work of art it was more engaging with a real "this is so messy, but I want to know how it ends" feel to it. Trigger warnings for PTSD, coercion, SA and gas lighting.