♾️ ⭐️
Spice: 🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️/5
Format: ebook

“‘This can be like neutral ground or something. A fake place. Like…Delaware.’ … ‘Out here, nothing has to exist. No fights. Just us. Just Taylor and Huckslee.’”

Ella James’s Wrath meets Nordika Night’s Garron Park meets Jessie Walker’s Where There’s a Will/If There’s a Way in this hauntingly beautiful but raw friends-to-enemies-to-stepbrothers-to-lovers epic romance novel.

“Fuckslee” Huckslee Davis and “Taylor fucking Tottman” not only don’t get along but can’t be in each other’s vicinity without fighting. Lucky for them and everyone around them, Huckslee’s dad and Taylor’s mom are about to get married and move Tay into the room across from Huck’s. Page one and we’re immediately thrust into yet another verbal sparring-turned-physical brawl between our main characters, causing both of them to turn up to their parent’s wedding wearing each other’s marks. When I say bully romance, I mean bully romance. Taylor’s attacks came in the form of verbal, emotional, and physical abuse, sometimes even bordering on psychological torture. There weren’t many lines he wouldn’t cross. And the thing is, Huckslee was as addicted to it as Taylor was.
↳“There's something twisted about the way I yearned for his attention, even if the attention I got was all bruises and closed fists. How I avoided him, knowing he'd seek me out because I wanted the fucking chase. I just got good at lying to myself about it.”

Over the course of the next several months, Taylor and Huck come to blows, come to stalemates, come to peace offerings, and, once, Huckslee even comes on Taylor’s hand. The push and pull really starts to set in strong and we get the most delicious tension and all the “will they/won’t they?” vibes. Except things come to a head and Taylor finally goes too far, effectively pushing Huck away for good; bringing us to quite a big timeskip. When they finally see each other again, they’re back to square one and at each other’s throats once more. The author did such a phenomenal job making sure that the “enemies” elements of this story never felt forced or repetitive. I’m super picky about the enemies to lovers trope but everything in this book absolutely worked for me and was believable. I just really resonated with their love story and found myself constantly getting emotional along with the characters. When Huck and Taylor were on the outs, I felt it like a physical ailment.
↳”He's a whole stranger to me now. And even though I'm surrounded by my friends, it makes me feel so damn lonely. Because even if they know me better than anyone... nobody knows me like Huck does. Well, did.“

While little moments snuck in here and there earlier on in the story, this book is very much a slowburn, which I think is most appropriate for a bully romance. There was a lot of glorious groveling, especially on Taylor’s part, and also a good amount of help from mental health professionals for both characters. You can see them start to sort through their issues in much more responsible ways when they come back together. Of course, they’re still Taylor and Huckslee at their core so they still constantly mess up and do stupid stuff, but we watch them mature and grow more and more throughout the book. What never seems to change is their codependency and possessiveness over each other, but I wouldn’t want it any other way. Watching them get jealous and claim each other was everything. But mostly I just loved seeing them actually address their pasts and work through their issues rather than ignore them and move on like I’ve seen in so many other books.
↳”I want to take it away, all of it. Every negative emotion that ever came between us, every bruise and every scar. All of his guilt, all of mine. If I could, I'd crawl inside his brain and change the story, perhaps make it one where our friendship morphed naturally into love over time instead of the twisted monster it became.”

Let’s address the spice in this book, because it takes a lot for me to rate anything 5/5. Not only is the sexual chemistry between Huck and Taylor magma-level hot, every scene of them together is downright filthy. Our sweet Huckslee Davis is a dominant freak in bed, and Taylor is his very willing target to take out all his stress and frustration on. Now when they test limits with each other and leave their marks all over one another, they do it to orgasm, which is even better. Possibly the best smut I’ve ever read in a book. I highlighted a concerning amount of their spicy scenes for future perusal.
↳”He uses his arm to lift me off of him before replacing his cock with the silicone plug. ‘You're going to spend the rest of the day filled with my cum, since, apparently, I need to remind you that you're mine.’"

The way this book snuck up out of nowhere and blew my mind though. This is now the standard I will hold every book I read from now on to. Not even just enemies to lovers, but every single book. Huckslee and Taylor just completely stole my heart. It’s very rare I love the main characters the same amount as each other; I pretty much always have a favorite. But I honestly cannot choose between them. They are both such complex characters and so multidimensional, it’s impossible to come to terms with the fact that they’re fictional. I feel so connected to their personalities and motivations. Even the side characters were amazing additions to the story, and I cannot wait for Matt and Xed’s book. To say I loved this story is gravely downplaying it. I would tattoo it onto my soul if I could.
Honestly, bury me with this book.
↳”I'll never get enough of Huckslee Davis. No matter how much time or distance we spend apart, I'll always come back for more. Out of all the addictions I've had in my life, his presence is the most potent. The one habit I can't kick and I never want to try.”

“‘Is it everything you hoped it would be?’
Clearly, he’s not talking about the state of Delaware but rather the state of us—Taylor and Huckslee.
‘No.’ Deepening the kiss, I jump up to wrap my legs around his waist, trusting his strength to catch me if I fall. ‘It’s so much more, baby. So much more.’”

*I received a free advanced copy of this book from the author and this is my voluntary, honest review.

SPOILERS: Full list of Tropes and Content Warning below.

Tropes:
* Bully romance
* Codependency
* Dubious consent
* Enemies-to-lovers
* Forced proximity
* Gay for you
* Hurt/comfort
* One bed
* Stepbrothers

Microtropes:
* Breath play
* Calls him “baby”
* Cockwarming
* Edging
* Filthy mouth
* Flip fucking
* Praise kink
* Snowballing
* Spanking
* Toys and plugs

Content Warning:
* Addiction
* Child abuse
* Homophobia
* Homophobic slurs
* Long timeskip
* Mental health struggles
* Prescription drug abuse
* Suicidal ideation and attempted suicide
* Violence between MC’s