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A review by leahtylerthewriter
The Shards by Bret Easton Ellis
Did not finish book.
DNF after 6 audio hours at 27%. This isn't a review it's a rant and I'm going off.
The Shards is a self-indulgent, narcissistic, pretentious Thomas Guide of Los Angeles written and narrated by Mr. Less Than Zero himself. Literally. There's more directions in this book than on Google Maps. I'm not joking. It's like a really long episode of The Californians on SNL.
"As I moved from Encino into Sherman Oaks I found myself mindlessly heading towards Stansberry Avenue and the school located there. I was originally going to drive past Stansbury and make a right on Ventura and let it take me to Studio City where the boulevard became Cahuenga, and then head into Hollywood, cruising along Sunset until I hit Beverly Glen."
First, who cares? Second, how dare he direct people to the Cahuenga Pass. How am I supposed to avoid traffic on the 101 if everybody knows about it?
Humph. Why am I reading this book? It's everything I hate, spoiled rich famous people in Los Angeles who think they're better than everyone walking around abusing each other.
Why can't I stop listening to it? Why am I becoming more than a little obsessed with it?
Because he drops things like this and I'm like, oh snap, Mr. Ellis, you are a survivor of this town. You do see me.
"I had learned from the previous five therapists that I had to downplay the horror of what had happened to me, and that I had to rearrange the narrative so that it was more palatable in order to not disturb the sessions themselves."
And the more obsessed I became, the more I started to get what he's doing, putting a horror show in the middle of extreme reality. Fine, Mr Ellis, we get it, you understand the mechanics of storytelling.
Ultimately I couldn't finish 23 hours of so much meaningless debauchery. I finally decided to gather my self respect and throw in the towel when I was having lunch with the mayor and a Hollywood producer at THE quintessential see-and-be-seen industry hotspot. Does anybody else find this kind of stuff on unimaginatively boring? But there was no reason to keep doing this to myself. Even if I desperately want to know more about The Trawler.
But here's one more in case you thought I was joking about the Thomas Guide: "He got lost coming from Century City because he overshot both Benedict Canyon and then Beverly Glen and ended up on the 405 at Sunset before realizing he had to get on the 101 and take the Woodman Avenue off-ramp."
Also, if you don't know how to give or receive a blowjob, this is a guide.
The Shards is a self-indulgent, narcissistic, pretentious Thomas Guide of Los Angeles written and narrated by Mr. Less Than Zero himself. Literally. There's more directions in this book than on Google Maps. I'm not joking. It's like a really long episode of The Californians on SNL.
"As I moved from Encino into Sherman Oaks I found myself mindlessly heading towards Stansberry Avenue and the school located there. I was originally going to drive past Stansbury and make a right on Ventura and let it take me to Studio City where the boulevard became Cahuenga, and then head into Hollywood, cruising along Sunset until I hit Beverly Glen."
First, who cares? Second, how dare he direct people to the Cahuenga Pass. How am I supposed to avoid traffic on the 101 if everybody knows about it?
Humph. Why am I reading this book? It's everything I hate, spoiled rich famous people in Los Angeles who think they're better than everyone walking around abusing each other.
Why can't I stop listening to it? Why am I becoming more than a little obsessed with it?
Because he drops things like this and I'm like, oh snap, Mr. Ellis, you are a survivor of this town. You do see me.
"I had learned from the previous five therapists that I had to downplay the horror of what had happened to me, and that I had to rearrange the narrative so that it was more palatable in order to not disturb the sessions themselves."
And the more obsessed I became, the more I started to get what he's doing, putting a horror show in the middle of extreme reality. Fine, Mr Ellis, we get it, you understand the mechanics of storytelling.
Ultimately I couldn't finish 23 hours of so much meaningless debauchery. I finally decided to gather my self respect and throw in the towel when I was having lunch with the mayor and a Hollywood producer at THE quintessential see-and-be-seen industry hotspot. Does anybody else find this kind of stuff on unimaginatively boring? But there was no reason to keep doing this to myself. Even if I desperately want to know more about The Trawler.
But here's one more in case you thought I was joking about the Thomas Guide: "He got lost coming from Century City because he overshot both Benedict Canyon and then Beverly Glen and ended up on the 405 at Sunset before realizing he had to get on the 101 and take the Woodman Avenue off-ramp."
Also, if you don't know how to give or receive a blowjob, this is a guide.