All the aspects of social media and being human both online and off in the book are things I worry about and I really enjoyed his witty, thoughtful insights all the way through.

He uses maps to great effect to make the point that they are both real and not real-- still useful as long as you pay attention to how you're using them.

But he argues against the folks who try to say social media is just toxic and makes you depressed. I totally feel those arguments too! - here are a few quotes in the book that resonated with me on that score:

"I sensed I was being judged through a collective lens made up by idiots," one person told me of their digital experience, "but there was no other way to look at myself."

"..."as though you're playing a slot machine that tells you whether or not people love you. ""

But I agree with Stedman in the totality of the book where he makes the case that it's just another tool for understanding ourselves and others and for trying to be human in the world.

He felt the urge to ditch social media completely, which I felt too, but he didn't leave either. As he says: "Even in my most frustrated moments, I don't want to abandon the world. I want to find a better way to be in it." That's how I feel.

The draw or importance of being online goes beyond addiction or likes in a couple of ways he explained really well. As an introvert, I think I shared the author's appreciation of the online anonymity, freedom, access to different peoples' experiences, and sort of clean slate it gives you. I could get past my quiet nature and speak freely. I could interact with ideas of human rights (off limits irl) and equality without the judgment or constraints of my conservative religious bubble that was my family, my village, my island of salvation in a world surely going to hell. I couldn't afford a misstep or the wrong kind of doubt in that in person part of life. Being online helps introspection and teaches us about being human - or it can.

An important distinction he made that people don't talk about enough was between deep play and passive play. You can get the deep play aspect by engaging meaningfully online or off - I have a few groups on Facebook that are uplifting that i would miss if I shut down social media. He gives the example of board games for deep play too. It's time you don't feel was wasted.

Passive play is that exhausting, deflated feeling of chasing those likes that never come, craving understanding and interaction but just yelling endlessly into the void. It's that addictive toxic thing social media critics are actually referring to in their screeds against wasting time, though they sort of imply that social media or screen time in general is only passive play.

Idk. Read it.