This book is a blast from the past. I started reading Susan Lewis books when I was at the end of Primary School, probably even earlier, but this is one of her books that I read a lot later. I wanted to read it again, to see if, in my humble opinion, it was just as good as when I first read it all those years ago. 

Honestly, there was a lot in this book that I didn’t pick up on previously, that I didn’t really like. In my opinion, Paige is depicted as a stereotypical teenage girl, and I think that’s a very harmful stereotype. Commenting about the size of their clothes, obsessing over teenage boys, it made it very hard to like Paige, which is unfortunate, as I think she could have had a lot of depth to her. Also, I didn’t remember it being quite so repetitive, especially the arguments between Jenna and Jack. It might be that this is actually quite realistic, and if it was done on purpose then it was executed perfectly, because Jack was doing my head in with his lack of compassion and his lack of ability to listen. 

I really like Kay as a character. In fact, I think her and Hanna are my favourites. I like that Kay is not a carbon copy of all of the rest of the characters, and I like the role that she plays in all of their lives. I didn’t like, however, the vibe that I was getting from the characters; it’s like they want to be praised for accommodating her needs (it was alluded to, in the book, that she was autistic) but I may be biased. I may be wrong, but that’s what it felt like. And also, when the topic of homophobia came up, there was almost an excessive amount of attention on it, almost as if a straight person wants to try and compensate for other straight people (I may be barking up the wrong tree so hard right now, but that’s what it felt like, as a queer person - if that makes sense). 

However, the twists and the revelations in this book are so perfectly done, it’s amazing. The plot is really well thought out, even if it did drag on a bit. I really liked how it worked out in the end, and I loved that Paige stuck to her guts, and didn’t allow Jack back into his life. In fact, most of the female main characters in this book, even the side characters, all know how to stand up for themselves, and I love that. That being said, Martha, if I ever catch you… (for legal reasons, this is a joke). 
I thought that the overall message, about bullying and how it affects you, was done quite well, considering. 

Slightly disappointing, as I saw this book on Kindle and I couldn’t wait to read it, but I get this a lot when reading older books, as they are catering for a different audience. Anyway, it’s still quite a good read. 

 

We follow Jenna Moore and her family as they move into a new house in Wales. Jenna is married to Jack, and she had a daughter, Paige, before she met Jack, but he took on his role as her stepdad, and was even considered her real dad. They went on to have Josh, and then twins, Flora and Wills. Jack lost his job, and he took it very hard, and they eventually moved away, and tried to start their own publishing business. Jack handled most of the business himself, whilst that left Jenna time to look after the house and their kids, and their golden retriever Waffle, and also to give her the chance to write her own novel. She also handled the more creative side of the business. 

Everything starts going really wrong in their life. Unbeknownst to them, Paige is the victim of some very harsh bullying. Her Facebook account is hacked, and one of her friends, Owen, is outed. Suddenly, everyone turns on her. Kelly Durham, the group leader of ‘The Durmites’, especially has a past in bullying, and makes no exception for Paige. She starts sending threatening messages, doctoring photos, calling her names, and even goes onto physically hurting her. At one point, after Paige’s best friend, Charlotte, told her she had to report Kelly, it got so much worse, and even forced Paige’s head down the toilet, and made her drink it. 

All the while, this is all going on under Jenna’s nose. She finds out, after months and months of non-existent meetings and trips out and hidden phone calls taken in secret, that Jack is having an affair, with Martha, whom helps to run their business. It started when they first moved there, Jack has decided to leave them, to go and live with Martha. Jenna is so shocked, and struggles to cope. Not only that, but jack has been, behind her back, charging people with their business for deals that aren’t feasible, and taking the money into his PERSONAL account. They owe 25 grand to their customers, which is money Jenna doesn’t have. Not only that, but he was going to give the business entirely to her, so if her sister and her mother hadn’t found out, she would be in a deep amount of trouble. 

She’s struggling to cope, finding out the love of her life would be capable of doing such things, whilst dealing with a book deadline, the business, and keeping the children happy. After finding out their dad was no longer going to be living with them, the children were filled with confusion and anger and sadness, and it was ripping their family apart. No one was okay, and there was a lot of pressure on Jenna, who’s now having to lawyer up because of her ex-husband’s fraudulent tendencies. 

Jenna has help from Kay, her mother, and Hanna, her sister, but she can’t keep relying on them. Just managing to stay above the surface, Jenna asks for a little help from Paige, who has been becoming more secluded, more agitated, and more nasty to her siblings, and even Jenna, and it leads to an argument, because Paige didn’t want her to have more kids, and they’re not hers and she shouldn’t have to look after them. 

Little does Jenna know, Paige is actually in the midst of being bullied so badly that she doesn’t even go into school. Her best friend, Charlotte, has fallen out with her, and now she has no one. The only person who she talks to is a girl called Julie Morris, whom she met on a forum page. Julie was also bullied by Kelly, so whilst she won’t tell Paige who she is, she tells her that when Kelly moves on, they can be friends. 

However, Julie is contemplating suicide. And so is Paige. And after the argument with Jenna, they make a suicide pact, not wanting to deal with life any more. 

When Jenna gets in and find Paige missing, everyone starts to panic. And when they find out she’s been visiting suicide sites, their hearts all break. No one knew this was happening to her, though there were so many signs, and she was ignored. After frantic days of them trying to find her, they finally track her down. Waffle, who used to hang out with Paige all the time, finds her scent. Paige is upset, because Julie never turned up to the pact, so she was waiting outside, and she wanted to commit suicide herself, but she kept thinking of her family, and she couldn’t bring herself to do it. 

They take her to the hospital, and they find out that Julie is actually Olivia, Owen’s sister. She hacked Paige’s page, because she wanted to be friends with her, and was jealous of her, so thought that by outing her brother and sending all the hate to her, they could connect, and Owen would come out unscathed. Owen and Olivia were being abused by their parents in every way possible. 

Kelly Durham got kicked out of school, and although they didn’t get the justice that Jenna really wanted for making her girl suffer, she’s just glad their family is back together. Paige still has no interest in spending time with Jack, for putting Martha before them, and sees herself as Jenna’s best friend.