this has been the first time in months in where i cried reading a book. althoug i am someone who cries easily, the sadness that some books made me feel didn't turn into tears... until now.

this is a brutally sad story which portraits extremly well the pain syrians have been feeling since about a decade ago. just the few first chapters chapters will have you crying or, at least, feeling brokenhearted. the book might be a bit slow paced during its first half but it is definitely a must-read. 

the book is set during the beginnings of syria's revolution and the main characters are torn between staying or leaving rhe country. i believe this dilemma was really well-written and i could totally emphathize with both salama and kenan and their reasons for wanting to stay. and yeah, kenan was an absolute sweetheart but i would like to focus on salama because she just felt too real.

while reading i could totally feel her pressure and anguish. i think the fact that she was working on a hospital (despite being a pharmacology student) somehow gave the story more depth. i mean, if it had been narrated by someone else, who didn't have to face all of those dying people it wouldnt have hit the same. 

also, i loved how the author decided to portray khawf. instead of writing constant monologues to express salama's fear she just "took advantage" of her ptsd to humanify that emotion and make its interventions lighter to read. and, fuck, that final plot twist made my heart skip a beat.

but tbh it made me really sad. i was truly loving layla and salama's friendship. i just absolutely loved how layla gave hope to salama and convinced her to try to be happy. i was rooting for them to be happy together in germany. so learning she was actually dead hurted so much.

all in all, this is a raw story that not only did a great job at showcasing syria's situation but also that even in the worst scenarios, hope and faith can exist. even if everything around you is crumbling, you still have the right to find little pieces of happiness to keep you going.

ps: i actually never read book acknowledgements, im sorry, but this time i skimmed through them and i have to say i loved them. i dont think i've ever seen someone shouting out taylor swift and bts, lmao. also i love how she also mentioned other authors, specially muslim ones!