3.5 stars
Why was I bored reading a book about sentient cats and dolphins?
Strong beginning, but overall it lost momentum as the story went on. The cover had me hooked, as did the blurb. Super villains, talking dolphins, Starter Villain sounded like the perfect humorous book to read, plus it has cats! But at times it was a slog to get through, and the ending overall left me feeling "meh".
For most of the book I did chuckle and enjoy myself immensely. I was pulled into this fantasy world that John Scalzi had masterfully weaved for most of the story. But my issue isn't with "most" of the story. My issue is with the times the pacing dragged, and the dialogue had me rereading sentences because it was so dull. Let me say this. If I wanted to learn about stocks, liquid assets, or other topics in that same vein, I would go read a book about the economy or stock markets. The irony of the book trying to comment on how cis and male dominated the villain sector is and yet the book in itself is very much the same way was not lost on me. The only prominent lady character is Morrison, unless you're counting the fact that all the cat servant/spies/intelligence gatherers are also female. At that point it's like why are we pointing this out? Why even comment on the fact that the villain industry is sexist and old fashioned if your book is written the very same way?
There were definitely some plot holes, pertaining to Charlie and his Uncle. (Though it definitely felt in character!) Quite frankly Charlie the main character could have easily not been a part of this story whatsoever and it would have been all the better for it. (Indeed, was he even really needed at all?) In that same vein Morrison could have easily had someone take his place and act in his stead. (Don't tell me that isn't possible, there were LITERALLY talking dolphins!) Charlie seemed almost too perfect, and lacked character flaws. He easily deduced so many plans, and was able to navigate a situation based on random experiences and jobs he has had. A lot of times it just didn't make sense and felt like he was too perfect. A substitute teacher all of a sudden able to masterfully navigate nearly every aspect of "villain" life? It almost reads as self-insert.
If the book had focused more on what it seemed to be about according to the book jacket, and less about exposition and stocks and the men being shitty, I might have enjoyed it more. I wanted to see more about the experiments and dolphins, and cats. More about how shitty the villains are and the negative consequences they have on regular people. Charlie came out of the story seemingly untraumatized and remarkably unphased. As it stands I find myself shaking my head in disappointment at another male dominated science fiction story.
The ending was...a choice. 

For a book that seemed to hinge so much on Charlie taking over the business, and even marketing it as that, I expected that to happen. Maybe Charlie would grow a conscious and dissolve the business and be a better person. Instead he just opens a pub and goes on with his life. A more realistic ending I would have liked better, is if he failed at the pub. Or ended up hating it. Food service is not for the weak of heart and Charlie seems to have romanticized it greatly. If he had come crawling back to Morrison and co. at the end and started working for a villain in some capacity, or doing something like that, it would have made more sense. Again, are we forgetting that Charlie saw so many people murdered! And again he has no trouble adjusting to normal society?

Why such a harsh review? I was so excited to read this. This is also nearly a $30 book that is only about 250 pages hardcover. So you can see why I'm a bit salty. If you like primarily science fiction books by male authors, this is for you. If not, skip it, I wouldn't recommend it.