If only William Howe took the war more seriously he would've crushed Washington like a bug! If only Johann Rall was more alert at Trenton, then he would've destroyed those puny rebels! If only Howe and Burgoyne had properly coordinated the planned two-pronged attack, then Saratoga would've been won! If only the bullet that hit Benedict Arnold in the thigh hit him in the heart instead! If only the Japanese had joined the fight, then a mighty army of cocked hats and horns would've been marching all the way to Philadelphia! If only Patrick Ferguson had unleashed the power of Excalibur turning those uppity rebels into goop, Britannia would've ruled America like the waves!