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A review by gabsalott13
Revival Season by Monica West
4.0
Finished this a while ago but have been slacking on sharing my thoughts/updating Goodreads. I don’t think I’m up to a full review just yet but I will share my scatterbrained notes and a few thoughts, and try to tidy things up this weekend!
Pros: This is very readable (finished in ~24 hours) and also very painful. Church kids will definitely relate to a lot, and appreciate the careful way Monica West handles the gradual process of becoming disillusioned with one’s faith (particularly BEFORE you are safe to abandon it.) There is masterful work and reflection here on family systems, and the ways we structure our nuclear and church families to shelter and sanction abuse.
Cons: I docked a star because something about the church environment felt off to me? Mormon or Duggar-like at times, which is not how I’ve experienced cult-ish Black faith communities. The seductive/performative nature of the church (music, sermonizing, pageantry and carrying on) was missing and that felt very empty to me. Revivals are some of the most exciting events in the church, but the way she described things was too dry to harness that excitement. Their world is almost Puritanical, and I very much could not relate. (Black) Church is many things but rarely this boring. There’s also a way that straight girls trust their fathers that I’ll never relate to, and so I found myself wanting to quickly get beyond the part of the book where Miriam was all “but my dad is my hero!”
Messy Notes (and quotes):
1. So harsh re: the ways women are expected to study but not profess or question the world
2. Seeing mothers “weakened by proximity to patriarchal conditioning”
3. Also something here about the anti blackness of health and how religious “healing” miracles rely on ableism and other oppressive systems to function.
4. Way the house goes around what he wants—family arranged around a certain person. We can say the same about the version of God which is worshipped in many Evangelical dominations.
5. Constantly telling children to lie about the behind and in front of scene disparity they see, and also how the abuses of power are actually quite similar when you think about it.
6. “We had lived under the canopy of that belief my whole life creating and drinking faith in God first and Papa second, never questioning Papa’s healing abilities, the same way we never questioned the existence of the sun, even when it was hidden behind clouds. Our belief left no directives about what to do if our faith in Papa faltered.” I get this for the mom/extended women in the family. But where is the daughter’s doubt? How is that voiced?
7. The isolation from the Mom’s side of the family!!!!
8. Problem with the church is it gives preachers WAY too much power. And it’s hard to not hear what they’ve said in every facet of your life.
9. Most relatable component: “I wanted to roll down the window and tell everyone what had happened, to tell them to go to one of the other churches in town because the person they’d put all their faith in wasn’t who they thought he was, but then Papa put the car in park and we all got out.” Even more terrible: knowing that it wouldn’t work, that everyone was in the church because they had already determined certain “sins” (verbal or emotional abuse, intimidation of children, etc.) were commonplace enough not to be a real problem. These were things I saw from most all of the men I knew freeing up, specifically in the church. Ignored because they were providers, or simply because they were there. And when it couldn’t be ignored, the women seemed resigned or uninterested in stopping these outbursts. More interested in consoling (and sometimes chastising) kids for now they hadn’t behaved to cause a certain way—never saying no one should treat you that way regardless of what you’ve done to upset them, or what they’ve done FOR you.
10. Mrs. Cade broke my heart. The way church mothers handled so much abuse, and couldn’t fully express their babies from it, is so so raw for me and likely always will be. Sorry need to revisit what I said about her!! She’s certainly doing what she can.
11. A lot of this is thankfully not my ministry: them serving the men the bulk of the food and then “ducking into the kitchen to eat the crispy corners of lasagna that we deemed not good enough for the men.” I have unfortunately seen one person whose mom and aunts had her “serve” her dads or brother food, but overall it didn’t strike me as a very Black thing.
12. I also think Miriam was relatable in the ways she begins to use her denial and disinterest in the charade as the only “safe” forms of discontent and doubt that she can voice in an environment that is structurally unsafe for her opinions.
13. The fact of them not being able to read ANY secular books? My parents pitched a fit about Harry Potter, but like no Beverly Cleary? Come on now…
14. I also loved how Miriam sees her mother. While she may not agree with the choices she makes, Miriam innately understands how it’s hard for Joanne to stop loving a toxic man when she still believes in a toxic God: “The boy who came to town wearing a suit that was two sizes too big happened to be in the right place at the right time and distorted her sudden love for God into a love for him. For a moment, all the power that she let him wield in the house made sense—she had never known Papa without God and never known God without Papa.”
15. Taking her mother’s half apology for “bringing all of you along on this ride” that isn’t fully realized because she’s still bringing the kids on the ride, and not trying to leave it anytime soon.
16. Lots of sympathy for a mom who tried to find a partner who was better than her own father. But years later, looks up and sees her kids being harmed by a different man.
17. The immense power of girls despite their subjugation: “Dawn had asked me what harm there was in trying. She didn’t understand that it would cause a scandal along the lines of something the church had never seen. My father, the head of the church, had tried to heal Dawn on multiple occasions. Anything I did to discredit him would disrupt the delicate ecosystem of our church, throwing everything that the Lord has established, and Papa had built into chaos.”
18. Like the secret convos and saying the quiet parts outright. Pastor mad at the Deacon for “showing him up”…all about the show for him
19. Anger at the people who refuse to play into the charade…telling them “you always see a problem when there isn’t one.” Not realizing the problem is ever present, even in the honeymoon phase because people are still walking on eggshells. They are so exhausted they can’t look up from the charade, so it’s hard not to blame them.
20. This is about disillusionment, falling out of love with who she was shown (if not told) was to be worshipped above all. “But Papa had carefully cultivated our belief in him. He never said it outright—that would have been obvious blasphemy and idolatry. But he was the all-consuming presence that had filled my entire life, taking up all the space in the house and in revival tents. In its absence was a black hole that seemed bigger than the presence that had inhabited it. Like the gap left behind after losing a tooth—the ragged, sore space in your mouth always felt larger than the tiny bit of enamel that fell out.”
21. So much sympathy for Miriam, who can’t heal the non-physical ailments of the people she loves.
22. Resentment for the mom abandoning her children, even when I knew it wasn’t that simple. It’s hard to realize that in abusive dynamics, both parents are a disappointment to the children they should be protecting.
23. “She was so quick to shift—to become the woman Papa needed her to be rather than the mother I so desperately craved. For once I wanted her to choose my needs over his.” This is so so hard—Joanne lives interaction to interaction, which makes her think that it is in her children’s best interest for her husband to not feel he is being chosen over them. But, still gross.
24. “Next to Papa, Ma pretended to be focused on the food. Papa has done a good job conditioning her all these years. She was compliant. Subservient.” This reminded me of what Obaa Boni on Twitter has said—look what happens when you have years of exposure to patriarchy!!! Not by accident that Miriam’s mother is broken down in this way, and it is heartbreaking because as the pastor’s wife she has the “respectable black woman” life that many aspire to. This is the problem—the aspirations themselves are rooted in our oppression as people of marginalized genders!
25. LOVE to see Miriam and Caleb coming back together. The sibling bonds can be so fluctuating with abuse and so their coming back around to care for each other means everything.
Pros: This is very readable (finished in ~24 hours) and also very painful. Church kids will definitely relate to a lot, and appreciate the careful way Monica West handles the gradual process of becoming disillusioned with one’s faith (particularly BEFORE you are safe to abandon it.) There is masterful work and reflection here on family systems, and the ways we structure our nuclear and church families to shelter and sanction abuse.
Cons: I docked a star because something about the church environment felt off to me? Mormon or Duggar-like at times, which is not how I’ve experienced cult-ish Black faith communities. The seductive/performative nature of the church (music, sermonizing, pageantry and carrying on) was missing and that felt very empty to me. Revivals are some of the most exciting events in the church, but the way she described things was too dry to harness that excitement. Their world is almost Puritanical, and I very much could not relate. (Black) Church is many things but rarely this boring. There’s also a way that straight girls trust their fathers that I’ll never relate to, and so I found myself wanting to quickly get beyond the part of the book where Miriam was all “but my dad is my hero!”
Messy Notes (and quotes):
1. So harsh re: the ways women are expected to study but not profess or question the world
2. Seeing mothers “weakened by proximity to patriarchal conditioning”
3. Also something here about the anti blackness of health and how religious “healing” miracles rely on ableism and other oppressive systems to function.
4. Way the house goes around what he wants—family arranged around a certain person. We can say the same about the version of God which is worshipped in many Evangelical dominations.
5. Constantly telling children to lie about the behind and in front of scene disparity they see, and also how the abuses of power are actually quite similar when you think about it.
6. “We had lived under the canopy of that belief my whole life creating and drinking faith in God first and Papa second, never questioning Papa’s healing abilities, the same way we never questioned the existence of the sun, even when it was hidden behind clouds. Our belief left no directives about what to do if our faith in Papa faltered.” I get this for the mom/extended women in the family. But where is the daughter’s doubt? How is that voiced?
7. The isolation from the Mom’s side of the family!!!!
8. Problem with the church is it gives preachers WAY too much power. And it’s hard to not hear what they’ve said in every facet of your life.
9. Most relatable component: “I wanted to roll down the window and tell everyone what had happened, to tell them to go to one of the other churches in town because the person they’d put all their faith in wasn’t who they thought he was, but then Papa put the car in park and we all got out.” Even more terrible: knowing that it wouldn’t work, that everyone was in the church because they had already determined certain “sins” (verbal or emotional abuse, intimidation of children, etc.) were commonplace enough not to be a real problem. These were things I saw from most all of the men I knew freeing up, specifically in the church. Ignored because they were providers, or simply because they were there. And when it couldn’t be ignored, the women seemed resigned or uninterested in stopping these outbursts. More interested in consoling (and sometimes chastising) kids for now they hadn’t behaved to cause a certain way—never saying no one should treat you that way regardless of what you’ve done to upset them, or what they’ve done FOR you.
10. Mrs. Cade broke my heart. The way church mothers handled so much abuse, and couldn’t fully express their babies from it, is so so raw for me and likely always will be. Sorry need to revisit what I said about her!! She’s certainly doing what she can.
11. A lot of this is thankfully not my ministry: them serving the men the bulk of the food and then “ducking into the kitchen to eat the crispy corners of lasagna that we deemed not good enough for the men.” I have unfortunately seen one person whose mom and aunts had her “serve” her dads or brother food, but overall it didn’t strike me as a very Black thing.
12. I also think Miriam was relatable in the ways she begins to use her denial and disinterest in the charade as the only “safe” forms of discontent and doubt that she can voice in an environment that is structurally unsafe for her opinions.
13. The fact of them not being able to read ANY secular books? My parents pitched a fit about Harry Potter, but like no Beverly Cleary? Come on now…
14. I also loved how Miriam sees her mother. While she may not agree with the choices she makes, Miriam innately understands how it’s hard for Joanne to stop loving a toxic man when she still believes in a toxic God: “The boy who came to town wearing a suit that was two sizes too big happened to be in the right place at the right time and distorted her sudden love for God into a love for him. For a moment, all the power that she let him wield in the house made sense—she had never known Papa without God and never known God without Papa.”
15. Taking her mother’s half apology for “bringing all of you along on this ride” that isn’t fully realized because she’s still bringing the kids on the ride, and not trying to leave it anytime soon.
16. Lots of sympathy for a mom who tried to find a partner who was better than her own father. But years later, looks up and sees her kids being harmed by a different man.
17. The immense power of girls despite their subjugation: “Dawn had asked me what harm there was in trying. She didn’t understand that it would cause a scandal along the lines of something the church had never seen. My father, the head of the church, had tried to heal Dawn on multiple occasions. Anything I did to discredit him would disrupt the delicate ecosystem of our church, throwing everything that the Lord has established, and Papa had built into chaos.”
18. Like the secret convos and saying the quiet parts outright. Pastor mad at the Deacon for “showing him up”…all about the show for him
19. Anger at the people who refuse to play into the charade…telling them “you always see a problem when there isn’t one.” Not realizing the problem is ever present, even in the honeymoon phase because people are still walking on eggshells. They are so exhausted they can’t look up from the charade, so it’s hard not to blame them.
20. This is about disillusionment, falling out of love with who she was shown (if not told) was to be worshipped above all. “But Papa had carefully cultivated our belief in him. He never said it outright—that would have been obvious blasphemy and idolatry. But he was the all-consuming presence that had filled my entire life, taking up all the space in the house and in revival tents. In its absence was a black hole that seemed bigger than the presence that had inhabited it. Like the gap left behind after losing a tooth—the ragged, sore space in your mouth always felt larger than the tiny bit of enamel that fell out.”
21. So much sympathy for Miriam, who can’t heal the non-physical ailments of the people she loves.
22. Resentment for the mom abandoning her children, even when I knew it wasn’t that simple. It’s hard to realize that in abusive dynamics, both parents are a disappointment to the children they should be protecting.
23. “She was so quick to shift—to become the woman Papa needed her to be rather than the mother I so desperately craved. For once I wanted her to choose my needs over his.” This is so so hard—Joanne lives interaction to interaction, which makes her think that it is in her children’s best interest for her husband to not feel he is being chosen over them. But, still gross.
24. “Next to Papa, Ma pretended to be focused on the food. Papa has done a good job conditioning her all these years. She was compliant. Subservient.” This reminded me of what Obaa Boni on Twitter has said—look what happens when you have years of exposure to patriarchy!!! Not by accident that Miriam’s mother is broken down in this way, and it is heartbreaking because as the pastor’s wife she has the “respectable black woman” life that many aspire to. This is the problem—the aspirations themselves are rooted in our oppression as people of marginalized genders!
25. LOVE to see Miriam and Caleb coming back together. The sibling bonds can be so fluctuating with abuse and so their coming back around to care for each other means everything.