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A review by millennial_dandy
Not That Bad: Dispatches from Rape Culture by Roxane Gay
4.0
3.5 rounded up to 4
Collections of essays and short stories, especially if not all by the same author, are incredibly hard to rate and review because the range of how much each piece speaks to you as a reader can be wide.
The goal of the collection, as explained by Roxane Gay in her heartfelt introduction, is, as the title suggests, to present the range of experiences that the various essayists have had with 'rape culture.' Including essays from cis and trans women, from men, from people of a range of ages and ethnicities, 'Not That Bad' does achieve, I think, what it set out to do: to show in a variety of ways, across time, and across people, how the specter of rape culture hovers over us all, though perhaps especially women.
So who is this aimed at? This collection has a two-pronged target audience: on the one hand, this is a book aimed at survivors of sexual assault looking for a sense of solidarity and validation of their feelings. But, on the other hand, this is also for readers who haven't had these experiences, especially (but not exclusively) cis men. I'm not sure, unfortunately, that it is as likely that the latter group would pick this up as it is that the former would.
Not to say that validation and solidarity aren't important, but the repetition of similarity across the essays would probably have more of a profound effect on readers with none of the lived experiences detailed within.
And I guess that's why I landed on my overall rating of 3.5/5. I can relate to a lot of the sentiments in these essays, and so the repetition, for me, was less profound and more...well...repetitive. I could nod along, but with increasing desensitization. For me, the value was more in mentally bookmarking certain essays along the way that resonated with me or that I could see being incredibly valuable to share with someone who may not want to take the time to read the book from cover to cover.
To be clear: these critiques are wholly separate from the value I think collections like 'Not That Bad' have. That phrase on the cover 'Not That Bad' is dynamite, and doing a lot of heavy lifting all on its own. Because at its core, that is what those who write about rape culture are talking about: the insane and arbitrary point system associated with the threat of sexual violence. From the weird urge to tell victims of violent rape 'wow, you're so lucky they didn't kill you!' to 'yes, they shouldn't have done that to you, but...' all the way down to 'yeah, but nothing really happened to you; don't be so hysterical.'
It's an important thing to acknowledge and talk about for people of all identities.
Of all the essays, the ones that I think really spoke to the heart of the theme were:
1. Fragments by Aubrey Hirsch
2. The Luckiest MILF in Brooklyn
3. All the Angry Women
4. Getting Home
5. Why I Didn't Say No
All five are very short, but punchy, and 'Getting Home' and 'Why I Didn't Say No' in particular hit at the more invisible and (to some) debatable aspects of rape culture that would probably spark the most discussion.
Collections of essays and short stories, especially if not all by the same author, are incredibly hard to rate and review because the range of how much each piece speaks to you as a reader can be wide.
The goal of the collection, as explained by Roxane Gay in her heartfelt introduction, is, as the title suggests, to present the range of experiences that the various essayists have had with 'rape culture.' Including essays from cis and trans women, from men, from people of a range of ages and ethnicities, 'Not That Bad' does achieve, I think, what it set out to do: to show in a variety of ways, across time, and across people, how the specter of rape culture hovers over us all, though perhaps especially women.
So who is this aimed at? This collection has a two-pronged target audience: on the one hand, this is a book aimed at survivors of sexual assault looking for a sense of solidarity and validation of their feelings. But, on the other hand, this is also for readers who haven't had these experiences, especially (but not exclusively) cis men. I'm not sure, unfortunately, that it is as likely that the latter group would pick this up as it is that the former would.
Not to say that validation and solidarity aren't important, but the repetition of similarity across the essays would probably have more of a profound effect on readers with none of the lived experiences detailed within.
And I guess that's why I landed on my overall rating of 3.5/5. I can relate to a lot of the sentiments in these essays, and so the repetition, for me, was less profound and more...well...repetitive. I could nod along, but with increasing desensitization. For me, the value was more in mentally bookmarking certain essays along the way that resonated with me or that I could see being incredibly valuable to share with someone who may not want to take the time to read the book from cover to cover.
To be clear: these critiques are wholly separate from the value I think collections like 'Not That Bad' have. That phrase on the cover 'Not That Bad' is dynamite, and doing a lot of heavy lifting all on its own. Because at its core, that is what those who write about rape culture are talking about: the insane and arbitrary point system associated with the threat of sexual violence. From the weird urge to tell victims of violent rape 'wow, you're so lucky they didn't kill you!' to 'yes, they shouldn't have done that to you, but...' all the way down to 'yeah, but nothing really happened to you; don't be so hysterical.'
It's an important thing to acknowledge and talk about for people of all identities.
Of all the essays, the ones that I think really spoke to the heart of the theme were:
1. Fragments by Aubrey Hirsch
2. The Luckiest MILF in Brooklyn
3. All the Angry Women
4. Getting Home
5. Why I Didn't Say No
All five are very short, but punchy, and 'Getting Home' and 'Why I Didn't Say No' in particular hit at the more invisible and (to some) debatable aspects of rape culture that would probably spark the most discussion.