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A review by iseefeelings
The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity by Esther Perel
challenging
informative
reflective
fast-paced
4.0
The victim of the affair is not always the victim of the marriage."
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"[...]For them, infidelity is opportunism—they cheat with impunity, simply because they can."
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"No woman should ever give one man all the power to shatter her romantic ideals. There is a big difference between saying, "That one person let me down and I'm hurt," and saying, "I'll never love again."
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The stories of people and their experiences have always fascinated me. I decided to read this book after pondering upon the famous tragic love triangle involving Sylvia Plath, Ted Hughes, and Assia Wevill, as well as reflecting on the affairs I have seen and heard in my own life. I was impressed by this book, which convinced me that Esther Perel is an excellent therapist for couples. Instead of viewing affairs through the lens of prejudice and the doom of love, Perel builds her arguments around the stories she has worked through with her clients, gaining a lot of wisdom from them. I found her analysis endearing, but I believe it could be more powerful if it offered more than just anecdotes of affairs in marriage. Would highly recommend it to those who want an introduction to the complex meanings of infidelity.
.
"[...]For them, infidelity is opportunism—they cheat with impunity, simply because they can."
.
"No woman should ever give one man all the power to shatter her romantic ideals. There is a big difference between saying, "That one person let me down and I'm hurt," and saying, "I'll never love again."
-
The stories of people and their experiences have always fascinated me. I decided to read this book after pondering upon the famous tragic love triangle involving Sylvia Plath, Ted Hughes, and Assia Wevill, as well as reflecting on the affairs I have seen and heard in my own life. I was impressed by this book, which convinced me that Esther Perel is an excellent therapist for couples. Instead of viewing affairs through the lens of prejudice and the doom of love, Perel builds her arguments around the stories she has worked through with her clients, gaining a lot of wisdom from them. I found her analysis endearing, but I believe it could be more powerful if it offered more than just anecdotes of affairs in marriage. Would highly recommend it to those who want an introduction to the complex meanings of infidelity.