⭐️⭐️ Two stars and a whole lot of disappointment

Perhaps I expected too much from Make You Mine This Christmas because it was an Illumicrate Afterlight pick and I usually like those, or maybe I just expected it would be amazing because I love a good sapphic romance, but this book didn't live up to even my lowest expectation—which is basically just that I enjoy it and don't feel like I wasted my money or time.

Truthfully, this book was kind of doomed from the offset because the audio narrator chose a voice for Haf that made me think of Kimberley Nixon as her character Josie Jones making her infamous munge in Fresh Meat and how aggravatingly annoying Josie is (whether or not she's cooking munge).
While that didn't help the situation, the vocal resemblance isn't fully to blame. Haf was super annoying and obnoxious, which felt like an unfair representation of ASD people, as an autistic person myself. It was sort of nice however that Christopher, who Haf had never met before, went along with her scheming when in real life it's hard to find people who will do that. In saying that, if Christopher hadn't joined in on Haf's mischief there would be no book and I wouldn't have wasted my time and money.

My biggest gripe with this book is that besides their meet cute at the bookstore, Haf and Kit didn't have a scrap of chemistry. There was so little spark between them that I got bored. I had to rewind the audiobook on multiple occasions to listen to chunks again because I completely checked out. There was just nothing there.
Haf had more chemistry with Cupid the baby reindeer than with Kit. Perhaps if Kit has gotten herself stranded in the middle of a lake and was about to be attacked by a goose until she was valiantly saved by Haf I might have felt a shred of something between the two women, but as it stands I didn't. Such a big set-up with the recommendation of one of the most famous sapphic works of all time, only to lead to Haf and Kit falling in love in five days? Really? This is the best you've got? I'm a massive lesbian and I cannot imagine a situation in which I could know a woman for five measly days and proclaim her to be "the love of my life" in front of not only my dearest friend, but also the woman's brother, his ex-girlfriend and a whole train station full of strangers. Bizarre! Is my lesbian membership revoked now?

I could get into the whole ~fake dating a man you just met so his ex thinks he's moved on and that somehow spiralling into spending the Christmas period with his family which includes his sister who you just flirted with in a bookstore but you didn't know who each other was until meeting a second time~ because it's not worth it at this point. I'm tired of it. No more fake dating of this type. I'm calling it. We've had enough.

Overall, Make You Mine This Christmas was just not it. Don't get me wrong, the hEDS representation was good and we need more of that in fiction across the board and I'd have liked Haf's experience autism to have at least a little mention instead of being subtext, but the story overall was so ehhhh that I'll probably forget it in a few days, which I'm looking forward to.
I stuck with it because it's pride month, but knowing how it ends I would tell my past self to DNF and move onto something better.