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A review by gabsalott13
A Place for Us by Fatima Farheen Mirza
5.0
WOW, what a novel!!!!!
I connected with this on so many levels: eldest daughter syndrome, religious doubts and despair over said doubts, and like 25 other similarities that had me pausing to take a deep breath after each page.
Mirza can write better than people with ten times her experience, but this isn't even really the accomplishment of this book. For me, it's how she lends herself to the innate wisdom of children, black sheep, and others who are missing that crucial “ability to continue on as though nothing had happened.” This family is one of eggshells and expectations, and she values the characters who are always breaking one or the other. You feel the tension they cause in their homes, AND the reasons they can't avoid the ways they disappoint and mistreat their family members. It is, in fact, these "less perfect" characters who shed the most light on the mutually caused dysfunction the family knows well.
Despite this sympathy for the more "destructive" family members, Mirza is also more than fair to the narratives of the dutiful family members, specifically Hadia. By detailing this character's patience and deep belief in the men in her family, Mirza has helped me see my own father's anger in a less judgmental context, and place it along a range of emotions including desperation, disbelief, and even depression.
Despite him being the hardest character for me to respect in the bulk of the novel, Rafiq's sections at the end were the most gracious and reflective. Towards the end of his life, thanks to his children's various "betrayals", he has come into the audacity to question and wrestle with his faith and its confines in a way that I really needed to see. Making “a place” for their family in Islam is something each of the children come to do, but also something they enable their parents to explore, as well, showing the kind of bravery only children can inspire, and the kind I hope I can encounter again.
***NOTE: Over two years later, I had to update my review because I am STILL thinking about this book in awe. It taught me so much about what we can expect out of familial love when you come from deeply religious families. In case you want to fangirl over this book, too, here's a thread of me reminiscing on Twitter.
I connected with this on so many levels: eldest daughter syndrome, religious doubts and despair over said doubts, and like 25 other similarities that had me pausing to take a deep breath after each page.
Mirza can write better than people with ten times her experience, but this isn't even really the accomplishment of this book. For me, it's how she lends herself to the innate wisdom of children, black sheep, and others who are missing that crucial “ability to continue on as though nothing had happened.” This family is one of eggshells and expectations, and she values the characters who are always breaking one or the other. You feel the tension they cause in their homes, AND the reasons they can't avoid the ways they disappoint and mistreat their family members. It is, in fact, these "less perfect" characters who shed the most light on the mutually caused dysfunction the family knows well.
Despite this sympathy for the more "destructive" family members, Mirza is also more than fair to the narratives of the dutiful family members, specifically Hadia. By detailing this character's patience and deep belief in the men in her family, Mirza has helped me see my own father's anger in a less judgmental context, and place it along a range of emotions including desperation, disbelief, and even depression.
Despite him being the hardest character for me to respect in the bulk of the novel, Rafiq's sections at the end were the most gracious and reflective. Towards the end of his life, thanks to his children's various "betrayals", he has come into the audacity to question and wrestle with his faith and its confines in a way that I really needed to see. Making “a place” for their family in Islam is something each of the children come to do, but also something they enable their parents to explore, as well, showing the kind of bravery only children can inspire, and the kind I hope I can encounter again.
***NOTE: Over two years later, I had to update my review because I am STILL thinking about this book in awe. It taught me so much about what we can expect out of familial love when you come from deeply religious families. In case you want to fangirl over this book, too, here's a thread of me reminiscing on Twitter.