This is a precious gift, an utter delight and truly unforgettable. Hands down the most heartwarming and heartfelt queer book I've ever read. It's a story of love, acceptance, and bravery that features two of the most adorable and lovable main characters ever; a steady burn, full-body kilig-inducing romance; a sexually diverse cast of memorable supporting characters; and a very solid, well-handled queer representation. It's the best if not perfect, is what I'm saying. I feel so lucky to have read this book I could cry.


Storyline:

AB is a bisexual pop star who’s sworn off dating partly because of the stress and pressure from public and media attention and party because he’s been made a sexual experiment by one curious asshole, who’s also the reason he’s been going to years of therapy for anxiety and OCD.

Matthew is a varsity athlete, a hockey legacy, and a #1 overall draft pick who’s months away from joining the NHL. All his life, he’s been looking for that one in a million girl that he can have an electric connection with, all the while truly believing that he’s straight.

Then one random day, those two meet and the instant, charged connection is bonkers. To Matthew, this is a dream come true, with just one, uhm, major catch: AB is obviously not a girl. But to AB, this is a nightmare come alive. Matthew is the very trigger of his anxiety and OCD, a person he should be making huge efforts to avoid.

But despite said major catch, Matthew still wants to see where this connection can take them, even if it’s just friendship. So he asks for AB’s number. But AB, having just enough sense of self-preservation despite his interest in Matthew and this connection between them, insists that Matthew gives him his number and that AB will decide whether or not he’ll contact Matthew.

It’s been two weeks and still nothing from AB, and Matthew is feeling more despondent by the hour. He’s worried he’s lost his chance at making a real connection before he even had it. Meanwhile, AB is still deliberating. He knows it’d be reckless and irresponsible to befriend Matthew, but he wants to. Eventually, AB caves in and texted Matthew.

From there, the story goes on to tell of friendships and self-discoveries, of falling in love and making it work, of sincere words and intimate moments, of acceptance and support, of family and love and bravery.

Review:

Let’s talk about the characters first. AB and Matthew have taken a lot from me, a lot of adoration, admiration, and love. There's just something inherent in these characters that warrants and demands those things. I see it not only in how they interact with each other but also in how they interact with everyone else.

It’s rare for me to care enough about some of the supporting characters, but it’s even rarer for me to really care about all of them. And I mean all of them: AB’s best friend, their mothers, his bodyguard, friends, and bandmates, Matthew’s twin sister, their parents and grandparents, his roommates, friends, and teammates. Just thinking about all of them makes me smile right now. It’s amazing.

Now the romance. It’s sweet and sincere, cozy and intimate, light but profound, not fiery but bright nonetheless. It’s a steady burn romance with a lot of heartfelt moments that make me hold onto my chest in a futile attempt to relieve the overwhelming pressure, but every now and again there are these intense moments that tease me at how consuming it can be if the author goes there. There is no explicit sex scene, but the sexual tension is obvious and it alone is more than enough to excite me. It’s been just two days since I finished the book and I’m now already feeling nostalgic about the romance.

Lastly, the queer representation. The book opens with a dedication that says: “For all the bisexuals out there—this one’s for you.” And that early on you I see the author’s commitment to and sincerity in representing queer people. Both main characters identify as bisexual, and many relevant issues are addressed well, although not at length or not too deeply. The amount of understanding, acceptance, and support from friends, family, and even strangers shown in this book are too much for my heart to take. Indeed, the queer representation is the most emotionally rewarding, uplifting, and inspiring part of the story.


Gods, how do I close this? I don’t know, but I hope I’ve done the book justice with this review. I hope many people will read this book and that they’ll feel what I feel and experience the beauty that is the story it holds. To me, this is the book I read a hundred others to find. I'm definitely going to reread this over and over again.


The ARC was provided by NineStar Press via NetGalley in exchange for an honest and critical review.