This book shattered me like no other. I found a surprising relatability with the main character that drew me in.
The emotions I felt in the last 1/4 of the book were raw and real. A book I will no doubt continue chewing over for a very long time. 

I have mixed feelings about this book. It's a story that's supposed to be sad and reflective, but I sometimes felt it was a bit too detailed. Also, I didn't feel a connection to/compassion for Lucy. The story's about how to deal with two people you love and choices that are made because of that.

An emotional roller coaster! The book, told from Lucy’s perspective, is basically a recounting of her life and love for Gabe. It starts with their meeting in college, right when 9/11 occurs. They have this immediate connection during a traumatic event, but then life takes them in separate directions. A chance encounter a few years later in a bar beings them back together, in to a 1.5year relationship. What follows after is ~10 years of independent but never really separate lives. There are toxic parts to their relationship and draw to one another, but also a deep chemical connection.

Lucy is Gabe’s person, his “luce,” his light, even if he leaves her multiple times. And, while Lucy moves on and gets married and has kids, his pull on her doesn’t really go away either. I don’t love the infidelity component, but I understand why it happened. It also made me really sad though that Lucy felt less fulfilled and respected in her marriage. Of course she speaks about good times with her husband, and loves her kids a lot, but they way she talks of her husband’s views and expectations make it easier to accept that she would fall back in to Gabe’s arms, and his bed. Ultimately though, Lucy never gets Gabe back and is the one who actually has to make the decision to take him off life-support, while alone in Israel, pregnant with his child (from their one night together). The reader is left wondering if Lucy will return to her old life and blow it up with the news that her child is Gabe’s or return into the folds of the life she has built. But, she does mention that one day, her new son will know of his true father, a man she never stopped loving, the light they lost.

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The audiobook is narrated by the author herself, which I think always adds to the listening experience because she is able to infuse the emotions and inflections intended with her words. I would definitely recommend giving this one a listen!