✨Ha sido un libro que me ha costado bastante leer. Lo comencé hace años, y ahora que lo he retomado, he tenido que empezar desde el principio ya que no me acordaba de mucho.

✨Es un libro duro, en el que ya desde el principio se tratan temas tales como

violaciones u operaciones indeseadas.

✨A pesar de que el estilo de escritura por momentos se hacía raro, la historia ha sido lo suficientemente atractiva como para seguir leyendo. Hay muchos puntos de vista, y cada uno está más o menos adaptado al personaje que está hablando (no es lo mismo un capítulo de Max que uno de Danny).

✨Un punto a su favor es que también habla de la intersexualidad desde el punto académico/médico, y de cómo todavía es por un lado, un tema tabú y que se trata como una enfermedad, y por otro, la poca información sobre el tema que existe (que hace que los profesionales de la medicina se comporten como si estuviesen estudiando especímenes en vez de seres humanos).

Dit is echt zo’n heftig boek. Er is in de opvoeding niet echt een schuldige aan te wijzen maar Max… de drang om hem even een stevige knuffel te geven is zo groot. Wat tragisch en mooi geschreven. 

This book was like nothing I was expecting but so much more at the same time. A real doozy. The first 20 pages put me in such a headspin because of how graphic and intense the sexual assault scene was, I had to literally put down the book and take a few breathers before continuing on. It just went from 0 to 100 in such a short space of time that it threw me for a loop for a second and I needed to find my bearings. I wasn't exactly triggered (I'm usually pretty good with handling heavy issues for the most part), but I had to step away for a bit after that. Basically, this book had me so incredibly invested in the characters from the get go.

I loved the alternating perspectives we got. There were characters that made me absolutely frustrated and infuriated (my first instinct was to constantly get defensive when it came to Max because I was always, ALWAYS on his side), but that's the beauty of the writing in this. The characters just felt so, amazingly human. There were moments when I was completely in agreement with a certain character, and then I would read things from another perspective that would make me question that. That's wonderful writing imo. When you can empathise with a certain character but then feel frustrated with them when the same thing is told from another character's pov. The true beauty of the way the characters are written in this is that, although I got angry with them at times (Karen!!), I could generally understand why they acted and reacted the way that they did. They just felt so intricate and distinct. The only character I truly despised in this was Hunter tbh (for obvious reasons).

I've read many, many queer and trans novels, but I've never read a book that focussed on an intersex character before...reading this was just so eye-opening for me. It's made me realise just how incredibly sad it is that there's so little intersex representation. Although intersexuality falls under the LGBTQIA+ umbrella, we very rarely hear about it, so there's so much that's unknown about it. It broke my heart how alone and isolated Max felt throughout this whole novel because he didn't have anyone he could relate to or talk to about his intersexuality. I can't even begin to imagine how difficult this would be for someone, let alone having to handle being raped, getting pregnant AND having an abortion on top of all that. Not to mention the intense gender dysphoria Max felt because of everything that happened to hi,. There was so much heaped on poor Max and although I got through this book fairly fast (because it was so GOOD), it was also a real heavy one to get through. There were so many moments I had to put it down to breathe and tear up for a moment. I just had such emotional and visceral reactions to everything that happened in this book.

Another I liked was the contrast between Max and Daniel. The way that Max kept so much of himself hidden to please his parents and everyone around him. How he was so scared to rock the boat because of the trauma of his mother leaving when he was younger. Whereas Daniel was the complete opposite. He was so honest the whole way through. Never afraid to stand up for himself (even if that was also incredibly frustrating at times). I really liked their relationship. It was very sweet. I do feel like Daniel was a bit neglected towards the end though when everything was unravelling for Max, and wished we had a bit more insight into how he was feeling around this time too.

I feel like there's so much more that I can say about this book, but I'm still reeling a little from having finished it. It was such a wonderful novel and I just know that I'm going to be thinking about it for a long time to come.

4.5/5