If He Had Been With Me by Laura Nowlin

“ℙ𝕖𝕣𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕤 𝕙𝕖 𝕨𝕠𝕦𝕝𝕕 𝕒𝕤𝕜 𝕞𝕖 𝕨𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕓𝕠𝕠𝕜𝕤 𝕞𝕖𝕒𝕟 𝕥𝕠 𝕞𝕖. 𝕀 𝕨𝕠𝕦𝕝𝕕 𝕥𝕖𝕝𝕝 𝕙𝕚𝕞 𝕥𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕚𝕥 𝕞𝕖𝕒𝕟𝕤 𝕝𝕚𝕧𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕒𝕟𝕠𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕣 𝕝𝕚𝕗𝕖”

Thoughts: ‘If He Had Been With Me’ is a ‘teen romance/coming-of-age’ novel. I devoured this one in less than 24 hours after a bit of a reading slump and a draining few weeks, so thank you, Laura, for helping me out of my slump. I really enjoyed this book. It covers lots of teenage issues such as love, friendship, family, and mental health. The story starts with the ending, so we were all doomed from the start knowing it was going to be a tearjerker. Despite already knowing the ending, I still thoroughly enjoyed this book. I really enjoyed the flashback memories of Autumn and Finn growing up together. This one had me in tears multiple times, but I’m so glad I read it and cannot wait to read ‘If Only I Had Her’.

Synopsis: An achingly authentic and raw portrait of love, regret, and the life-altering impact of the relationships we hold closest to us, this YA romance bestseller is perfect for fans of Colleen Hoover, Jenny Han, and Lynn Painter. If he had been with me, everything would have been different… Autumn and Finn used to be inseparable. But then something changed. Or they changed. Now, they do their best to ignore each other. Autumn has her boyfriend Jamie, and her close-knit group of friends. And Finn has become that boy at school, the one everyone wants to be around.
That still doesn’t stop the way Autumn feels every time she and Finn cross paths, and the growing, nagging thought that maybe things could have been different. Maybe they should be together. But come August, things will change forever. And as time passes, Autumn will be forced to confront how else life might have been different if they had never parted ways.

Please check trigger warnings prior to reading this book.

★★★★★

Wasn’t able to put the book down in many parts but honestly it did not live up to its online reputation. I expected it to have me bawling by the end but idk it just left me feeling like “that’s so sad” instead of the “I will never get over this” statements I saw online. I love this book and will most likely read if only I had told her but it was just a bit underwhelming. I would recommend this book but I wouldn’t go in with expectations TOO high. 

This book is devastating. I finished this book the day that I started it. There is spice in this book that is not closed door but it adds to the story and is necessary.

“Finny?” “Oh Autumn.”

Ending was abrupt but not entirely unexpected. I think it portrayed childhood friends and young love well. The book read to me like it was trying to be a modern day Romeo and Juliet story. Right as everything fell into place, all was lost. It was upsetting and taught the importance of being honest. Any book that has the power to do this, is a decent book to me. The character types were kind of cringe but I guess there's a level of realism with that, since coming-of-age is generally thought to be a cringey part of our lives. It was realistic to how we are before we transition into adulthood. My issue is that I don't really know what age range to place this book. Seemed like it was a pretty light read until the end. The whiplash felt unpleasant more than it surprising me or challenging me or giving me something to chew on. It felt a little sloppy even? Like the plot was too clunky or the foreshadowing was too obvious or the characters were too predictable? Unsure. But some positives were that I enjoyed reading about Autumn's friend group. I thought the titling of things like the "Steps to Nowhere" and "The Mothers" was a creative touch. I was pretty invested in the characters by the end of book, so when Sasha and Jamie become a thing, I was so appalled. That's usually a good sign of being committed to the characters.

a few fav scenes:
pg 107 when both Finn and Jamie stood up
pg 88 the lunch table war
pg 132 protectiveness
pg 169 boys being boys meeting boy
pg 205 "Ales spends the night at Jamie's. Jamie tells Alex that he doesn't like Trina. That nobody likes Trina. That everybody likes Sasha. That Sasha misses him." - foreshadowing / power they had over each other
pg 314 "'Well,' Finny says, 'to be fair, you do need a ride.' 'No, I don't,' I say. 'I have you.' Finny smiles."