disclaimer: I don’t really give starred reviews. I enjoy most books for what they are, & I extract lessons from them all. Everyone’s reading experiences are subjective, so I hope my reviews provide enough information to let you know if a book is for you or not. Find me on Instagram: @bookish.millennial or tiktok: @bookishmillennial

I loved this second-chance romance! I am a sucker for any kind of book set in the music or acting or any kind of famous industry lol, so this was my catnip! Antonia "Toni" Bennette & Sebastian "Seb" Quigley meet when they are pre-teens in Bordon, Pennsylvania, a small town where Toni is dropped off as a 12-year-old when her mother can no longer take care of her as she pursues a career in music on the road. They develop a close friendship over music and everything else, and decide they will leave Bordon one day to pursue music together, and to get away from their families. However, this dream is short-lived as Seb abruptly leaves one day without any explanation & never comes back. Regardless, Toni has made a name for herself in Philly's indie music scene and auditions for an open spot in the Lillys, as their guitarist Candi heals from an injury. This is when she is unexpectedly reunited with Sebastian Quick (nickname from his last name), who is the Lillys' manager, and they must confront the betrayal Toni felt all those years ago.

This book gives us the dual third-person limited POVs of Seb and Toni, and it is indeed a slow burn! It also felt more like a "fiction" book rather than a capital R romance for me, but that's fine. I loved the story, I rooted for the characters, and I was invested in seeing how things would unfold. I appreciated Seb's explanation for why he left all those years ago; I think we quickly villainize people, and Toni definitely learned to unpack and seek out more nuance depending on the situation!

With the subplot of Toni's parents, that absolutely tugged at my heartstrings. I felt for Toni, because it explained why she was so protective of herself, since she was continuously let down by the two people who were supposed to care for her and look out for her. This ultimately led her to look out for herself, and to not depend on others. I did appreciate the representation of Toni's dad, someone who didn't sign up to be a parent, and didn't know how, but looked out for Toni in his own way. It wasn't enough, and it wasn't the way Toni needed to be loved, but it was a nuanced representation that I appreciated. Not every parent is going to "see the light," admit their wrongs, or even be the parent that their child wants. However, it doesn't make either person the villain, and I appreciated that. 

I am excited to read more in this series, which I believe will focus on a different band member of the Lillys! 

cw: child abuse, misogyny, abandonment, drug abuse, addiction, cancer, emotional abuse, alcohol

Reread Sept 6: I am changing my rating from F5 to a four-star. Mainly because it was a very slow burn and I forgot it was bad I also I thought the storyline was a little slow in the beginning am I am in a little I mean a lot, but once I got past that I got back into the story, but the chemistry was a little off for me until the last third of the book that everything settled.

This book was so good until it wasn’t.

TL;DR I really enjoyed this book for the most part. Lost love and second chances are both huge soft spots for me. Also, I really also loved that Apple Music literally has some of the songs mentioned in the book as being sung by the Lillys (the band in the book).

Overall, I think I’d read the sequel mentioned in the back if that book didn’t have specific things. Ultimately, I can’t be too mad about some of this stuff — I bought it for $1 at a thrift shop that benefits a hospital.

As for the spoilers, let’s get one thing out of the way first: the godawful, unnecessary, cishet sex scenes were NOT it for me and genuinely are why I didn’t give this book a higher rating. I was enraptured with this book — it’s the first time I’ve finished a book this quickly in ages. I really, really liked Toni. But the sex scenes seemed extremely random and poorly written. They also happened so late in the book that I was caught off guard. They were written like a pretty laughable first time writer attempt at being sexy — definitely not published book material. I’d expect that sort of shit on Literotica. I personally wouldn’t spend full price on the book for that alone. 

Also, I was extremely bothered with Lilly’s portrayal in this book. “Ice queen” aside, they constantly flirted with the idea of her being queer/possibly having feelings for Candi, but nothing came of her being queer and it just felt very forced, especially since they also just threw a random nonbinary character (who I did not feel represented me well as a nonbinary/agender person! Especially since they just got randomly written off/used for diversity brownie points!) I would’ve appreciated even a mention toward a confirmation of Lilly or Candis sexualities, especially after that scene with Seb at the end. (Are they both bi or what? And Jordan too?)

Speaking of Seb, his entire character oscillated quickly between being okay and being absolutely insufferable for me. At no point was it okay that he was using her childhood nickname or bringing up their past during sex. But also, in some of those childhood scenes he had already become an adult! It doesn’t always seem like that much of an age difference, but it can definitely have some maturity level issues. And despite me loving the entire genre of childhood love being given a second chance, Seb absolutely did not deserve Toni’s time. (And despite him knowing that, he kept pushing and hurting her anyway!) That, and his inability to set boundaries with Candi, made his chapters a bit more of a slog.

Where the book had so much unsung (lol) potential was the relationships between the Lillys (Tiff, Kayla, Lilly, Toni, and Candi). I loved the parts that were just the band members enjoying their time. I loved the way that the author slowly peeled back the layers to show their motivations and feelings toward each other. I only wish those parts were longer and more detailed — it would’ve been such amazing character development, especially after Candi was kicked out. 

Toni was the best part. The things she had to overcome (Mo and Mary, breaking out of her shitty town, breaking into the industry, the bias against her, etc) genuinely made her into a strong character. Her ability to overcome her aversion to the spotlight as well as heal from her wounds genuinely was refreshing to read, though I wish more time was spent on it. 

Also, Mo showing up toward the end made me cry. 

I just wish that the Seb and Toni sex scenes were better, or less forced, or just weren’t there entirely (even if it was a cut). I felt like they had been overcoming their past really well prior to that, and it was frustrating. 

I am blown away by this book. As a girl who grew up on classic rock, this was everything I wanted and more. Toni is complicated but oh-so lovable. Her doubts are understandable and relatable - she struggles but still finds a way to shine. Seb’s character is fleshed out well, too. The dual POV complements the parallel character development well, and I couldn’t be happier that the miscommunication trope didn’t show its face. Great read with amazing character development, a captivating plot line, and a slow burn romance. Highly recommend.