Reviews with content warning for Addiction - Just by Looking at Him

This book was such an easy read. The elder millennial humor dates it quite a bit, but I also feel like that’s relevant because that’s how a lot of people interact now. And plus, that’s my style of humor, so I enjoyed it. It read like I was on FaceTime with a friend of mine. The main character is fallible and frustrating and annoying, but I think that’s the point. Just because he’s gay and disabled doesn’t automatically mean that he should be a saint. There are some shitty gay people and some shitty disabled people. And I 100% get the thought process of ‘I’m so tired of people commenting on everything wrong with my body, so I just want someone to treat me normal for just a second. Even if I have to pay them’. I also enjoyed the way that addiction was portrayed. It’s not always so fucking depressing and obvious. Sometimes it just kind of sneaks up on you. And sometimes you can get addicted to everyday things or people.

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bapm's review

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funny fast-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.25

Decent book. Few audible laughs.

The intention was for us to appreciate the growth of the protagonist, however, the hurtful things he did weren't addressed nor resolved fully

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offbrandclubsoda's review

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challenging emotional reflective fast-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? No
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.0

This book had so much potential. As a Queer person with cerebral palsy, O’Connell captured parts of my experience beautifully: the internalized ableism, the subconscious desire to be objectified, the anger and resentment, the self destruction. While it was hard for me to read and sit with these parts, they were raw and honest and I appreciated that.

However, the plot ultimately fell flat for me. O’Connell did such a great job at setting the main character up as the “villain” but seemed to phone in the character arc. It felt like the majority of the book was spent develop the gritty, unlikeable parts of Elliott, only for him to wrap it all up in a couple of pages. Not to mention the glaring irony of River accusing Elliott of viewing him like a “manic pixie sex worker” only for Elliott to do EXACTLY THAT with Jonas. I’m sorry but Jonas really was a manic pixie crip character who served only to prop Elliott up. Elliott’s self reflection and ultimate growth came solely through his sexual and romantic connection with Jonas. I would have much preferred to see him achieve this on his own. Other disabled people are not here to serve as a mirror for your own ableism and self hatred!

I also took issue with the simplistic view of recovery. I think Elliott’s drinking problem was well-written and sheds light on a side of substance use that is often ignored, but the recovery aspect was so poorly done. This man really read one book about alcoholism and was cured.

This book also frustrated me because it was so similar to O’Connell’s memoir “I’m Special and Other Lies we Tell Ourselves. “ I don’t think many people read this book, and only know of O’Connell from the Netflix adaptation of the book, but let me tell you, “Just by Looking at Him” contains so many recycled jokes and plot points that it is essentially a memoir 2.0 written under the guise of fiction.

Finally, this is just my own personal taste, but I strongly disliked the writing style of the book. O’Connell tends to write as if he’s texting, which not only screams elder-millennial, but in my opinion, dilutes otherwise hard-hitting scenes.

Overall, this book feels like a first draft. I am excited to see my experience represented so accurately in O’Connell’s writing, but I think there is still a lot of work to do.

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zed_dog's review

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emotional funny inspiring reflective medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

Add this to the queer canon! Very funny; unexpectedly moving. Gay professional with cerebral palsy tears down his picture-perfect life, struggles with addiction, and tries to figure out what to build in its place.

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eslsilver's review

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dark emotional funny tense fast-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.75

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lesenilpferd's review

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emotional reflective slow-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? No
Diverse cast of characters? N/A
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

2.5

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hanumanbapa's review

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dark emotional funny reflective sad tense medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.5

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orireading's review

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emotional funny hopeful fast-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.5

I would say the first two thirds of the book were a 3.5-4 for me and then the last third was a 5+. Truly funny, but also beautiful and vulnerable and hopeful. I do think that the pop culture references make the book very of-the-moment so like, read it asap if it’s on your TBR.

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