Super unique perspective and appreciated the frank, open exploration of the intersections of disability and sexuality. However writing didn’t always grab me and I wanted to feel more like I was in the head of the characters than the author.

This novel by the star and creator of Netflix’s Special follows a TV writer with cerebral palsy who seems to have it all, but is falling apart behind the scenes. Between Hollywood backstabbing, a growing reliance on alcohol, his cheating habit putting pressure on his relationship, and internalized ableism, Elliot’s life has gone off the rails, but he’s determined to face his demons.

I listened to this on audio, and I absolutely loved hearing this book through Ryan O'Connell's voice. It's funny, sharp, and messy in wonderful ways. Elliot is a frustrating and endearing protagonist you can't help but root for, even as he makes all the wrong decisions.

My Recommendation: This was a delightfully hilarious book that made me laugh throughout and then gaze wistfully into the distance as the book ended. O'Connell takes his protagonist, Eliot on a journey through substance abuse and sex addiction, to one of loving exploration with someone who will hopefully provide the perfect equal partnership he craves forever. There were definitely some darker points in the novel emotionally and some characters grated, but that was O'Connell's intention. I can't wait to see what he writes next.

My Response: If I'm 100% honest I first was drawn to this book because of the cover art, a cropped version of Henry Scott Tuke's The Critics (Wikiart). Tuke does water like no one else and they pumped up the blues and greens on the cover.

Then when you add the title of the painting to what the main character does for a living: mind blown. So THEN I realized this was the same Ryan O'Connell who created, wrote, and starred in Special on Netflix, and of course, I requested a copy.*

Continue reading on my book blog at geoffwhaley.com.

*I received a copy of Just by Looking at Him via NetGalley in return for my honest opinion. No goods or money were exchanged.

I received a copy of this book from Net Galley; this has not influenced my review.
I often find myself reading too many heavy or depressing books. I tend to go in for that sort of thing but still, every now and then I need a palate cleanser before I go back to horror or non-fiction about disasters. That’s what initially drew me to this title, it seemed like something light and humorous.
And it was. But it was also incredibly honest and at times scathing and dark. With all the wit and humor of your favorite YouTube series and all the messiness of real life, this book strikes a delicate balance between humor, emotional honesty, and heavy topics like relationships, addiction, and living in a world not designed for you.
This was a delightful read from an author with a lot to say and a talent for wrapping razor sharp barbs of insight in clever one liners.

Om en mand med cerebral parese der har svært ved at elske sig selv (pga. sit handicap) og som fylder det tomrum han har med alkohol, sex og…. en overdreven brug af humor. Det er en sindsygt sjov bog på samme tid den er trist, og humoren bliver brugt som en virkemiddel der viser det skjold hovedpersonen har lagt mellem sig selv og omverdenen. Selvom den lette og humoristiske tone får bogen til at virke som en simpel beach read, er den spækket med intertextuelle referencer og sygt stærke pointer - altså meget mere end en basic beach.

Dårlig oversættelse til dansk.

This story follows Elliot, a 30-something gay disabled man who writes for a popular TV show and lives in Los Angeles with his boyfriend, Gus. Elliot struggles with cerebral palsy, a lack of confidence, and a serious alcohol problem. Elliot begins cheating on Gus with sex workers and hopes he will never find out, but the world is a lot smaller than he thinks. O’Connell’s writing shimmers with sharp wit and candor which makes this story feel extremely intimate. Elliot is a deeply flawed, darkly humorous character you can’t help but root for. JUST BY LOOKING AT HIM is a hilarious yet thoughtful exploration of the gay community, sex, relationships, monogamy, ableism, addiction, self-discovery, and it highlights what it’s like living with a disability.

I started reading a print copy but was finding it challenging to get through. I realized this was because it is written in the author's very casual, conversational voice (Twitterisms, one review calls them--lots of saying "hashtag" out loud and so forth--but in the many interview/podcasts I've listened to, that's how he often talks). Fortunately, Ryan narrates the audiobook himself, so I soon switched to that, and enjoyed the read/listen.

This was by far the most disabled (not to mention, queer disabled) literary fiction I've read. It deserves a gazillion stars for that alone. I loved the exploration of Elliott's internalized ableism and how his self-confidence changes for the better when he gets to know his first disabled friend. I really want more fiction like this!

A random thing I'm puzzled by: at one point Elliott says something like, "Fuck her and the horse she rode in on! Also, why are old timey sayings always so ableist?" I don't disagree, but I don't see the ableism in that particular old timey saying! I got as far as, it's ableist if the horse was maybe a mobility aid...but that is a stretch and can't be what he was going for, right??

Elliot just wants to blow up his life. His long-term boyfriend/domestic partner Gus is great, but Elliot is starting to feel like Gus is suffocating him with his day-to-day help. Elliot likes his job, but he's starting to feel like he's just not appreciated there. And Elliot loves his friends, but is starting to wonder if they really "get" him and his disability. Elliot is really going through it and I would describe this as a coming-of-age book even though Elliot is in his mid-30s. For the first time in his life, he is grappling with questions of identity. Elliot is not always likeable, but I ended up enjoying the book. It is a unique topic and point of view, plus Elliot does some real growing by the end. I have a feeling this will be one I remember.

Sometimes books are for you and sometimes they're not! This was just not for me

this book really wasnt written for me, so maybe take my review with a pinch of salt cos i dont understand the inner-workings of the upper class white gay society in LA lol. but this was such a snoreeee, i literally rolled my eyes at so many sentences:

- "he had bodyodyody"
- "every day i discover a new flavour of fucked up inside me"
- "piece of literature that rly made u think" (yes, "rly" in a novel PLZ!!!)

AND the fella kept quoting famous people but to the point that i'd say 25% of the book were other peoples words ... and it was only 250ish pages. plus i genuinely counted one of the sentences and it was TWENTY NINE lines long - no full stops.

these r obvs purposeful stylistic choices but come awwwn why r we publishing books that could be confused as twitter threads now. at risk of sounding like an utter wanker who cares too much about the english language (i swear i don't i must be in a bad mood), there were some redeeming bits: it was funny at times and i feel like a learned a bit about cerebral palsy (or, "cerebral lolzy" as elliot calls it … … … … lets move on)

summary: this prally woulda worked better as a netflix limited series (3 episodes only) (that gets taken off two months later)